TERF-breaking is very interesting to me because (as I am constantly complaining about) we are not into degradation or humiliation at all, but most people who are into “x”-breaking are. When I interact with other people in like a dykebreaking or a detrans or misogyny space, we very much avoid any of that, but we occupy the same social space as the people who do like that kind of thing. Because we aren’t a TERF, we don’t occupy the same social space as the people who are on the common receiving end of degradation and humiliation so if we were to interact with them…we are supposed to doing some of that. But like, we have the instinct to message one of these people and be like “hey, we were gonna send an ask saying this, is that okay?” Which normally wouldn’t be a problem, but these people are openly very anti-kink and anti-BDSM (I do not know how they handle the cognitive dissonance) and we feel like sending the ask asking permission would almost be more of a boundary violation than a degrading or openly sexual ask. Then we start to think like “oh yeah, these people are actual TERFs, like even if they’re doing this their main blogs are full of TERF shit and this is their dirty little secret…do I even wanting to be interacting with them on such a personal level?”
Idk, I don’t know how y’all do it. I don’t know if it’s the autism or the OCD but I can barely interact with people on here as it is and interacting with people here is soooo much easier than Fetlife. Fetlife is like…kinky facebook whereas tumblr is like…tumblr. Like being anonymous on tumblr feels so much more secure and safe and free than being of Fetlife where people are talking to people they just were at a convention with and posting pictures from the dungeons and that’s cool for them and all, but when you can’t leave the house much and are even more scared to interact with people in person than online it just makes you feel kinda shitty.
