“Who are you?” The boy braced his eyes against the light.
“I should be asking you that question. What are you doing in here?” Her voice was soft and tinged with childhood.
Everything until this point had gone according to plan. There was no reason to believe this would be any different, so close to the end of the journey
“My name’s Martin. Could you maybe not point your flashlight…
My mother was a tailor. I spent much of my early life watching her fingers as they delicately crafted items for use. Printing stitches with care and precision, muttering a wish for the wearer as she worked. She worked day and night with little rest as if in a trance as she pushed and pulled the needle through the fabrics draped across her lap, the candle light washing her face in a golden…
‘A breath of new life for the city’ was the headline of every major newspaper in the city the morning that Syncon released its newest product. In the weeks following the announcement every news feed that scrolled across every storefront was about the innovation.
They called it ‘the Conscience’ and it was touted as the most humane and effective way of dealing with the rising crime problems in the…
Princess Tania stood at the entrance of the park next to her Knight. She would have preferred to come alone, but her father, the King, had insisted. Before they left the Kingdom, the Knight had begged the King to let it be his duty to protect the princess during her journey, and the King accepted, hoping that she would befriend anyone other than that ridiculous jester she had brought to the Kingdom on her previous journey.
The Knight got on one knee and respectfully thanked the King, careful not to display the excitement running through his body. He had been in love with the Princess for over a year and now he had the chance to prove it to her.
On the other hand, Princess Tania didn’t even know the Knight’s name and didn’t want to be associated with him. At the airport, she had tried to lose him by pretending to go the bathroom, while she was rested at the kids section of the VIP area. The plan was to make him look all over the airport for her while she boarded the plane and make him lose the flight…but he didn’t. She boarded the plane by herself and when she reached her seat, there he was. During the flight, she only focused on the entertainment system, and didn’t acknowledge the Knight’s existence. When they walked out of it, she always walked five steps ahead of him.
The King was being overprotective, as usual, but she could not believe that the Queen had agreed as well. She was just here to get a job. Her dream job. She wanted it more than being a princess. She wanted it more than being surrounded by luxurious meals, broccoli and potatoes, and she wanted it more than being with her royal pets. Even if it meant to live like a simpleton and being someone else’s employee.
Her dream was to work at Universal Studios. She had already applied two weeks ago and had obtained an interview right away. Being the Princess of a Kingdom came with those kind of perks.
The King and Queen didn’t know that though. They thought she was here to have a good time at these entertainment facilities, for they knew she had enjoyed them last year. She planned to tell them later. As for the Knight, the plan remained the same. Lose him.
At the entrance of the park, she shot a glance at the Knight and noticed that he was looking at her too, but he immediately looked away as if nothing had happened. Disgusted, she turned around, sprinted into the crowd, and tried to locate a bathroom. As she ran, she heard him calling after her.
When she reached the girl’s bathroom, there was a line of about a dozen women. If she waited outside, the Knight would definitely catch up and recognize their Kingdom’s clothing, so she kept on running until she found another bathroom, stumbling into several people and fleeing before they could turn and see what hit them. She almost fell to the floor a couple of times, for her clothing was not an appropriate one for running, but for display purposes only. Finally, after several minutes of running under the sun, she managed to find a bathroom that was conveniently near the administration office, where her interview was.
Inside the stall, she reached from her bag the clothes for the interview and changed into them, messily stuffing her other clothes back inside. She also put on some sunglasses to keep the Knight from recognizing her and stepped out of the stall. When she did, she was caught off guard by the reflection of herself. She removed her glasses in horror to get a better look at the disaster that were her face and hair.
Every time she left the palace, her hair was adorned with the most elegant hairpins shaped like butterflies with incrusted diamonds that reflected rainbows every time she went out on sunny days; and her face was always beautified with the best brands of make up from all over the world. For the Princess, the Royal Family’s stylists always went with a natural look to go with a girl her age.
What Princess Tania saw reflected on the mirror, wasn’t the version of herself she was used to seeing every day. Every hair had found its way out of its beautiful hairpin, which hung loosely from her hair, and the shorter, baby hairs stood up sweaty and wild. The makeup on her face was smudged all over the place, a combination of all the color from her eyes and cheeks.
This could not be Princess Tania of Landuc, she thought, frowning at herself. She couldn’t show up like this at the interview. If she were the interviewer, she would have rejected herself as soon as she entered her office. She had no choice but to fix it. However, she didn’t know how to do her own makeup, or her hair, so she tried to save both of them just by washing them with water. As she did, all the color from her face came away over the sink. When she tried to comb her hair with her hands, it was stiff from all that gel but she did her best, or so she thought, and now she looked decent at least.
Princess Tania stepped out of the bathroom, still fixing her baby hair and went to the administration office, ready for her interview. As she stepped inside, she froze when at the sight of the man dressed in Landuc clothing, talking to a young woman at the counter. The woman looked up, laid eyes on the Princess, and pointed at her.
“Yes, found her.” the administration woman smiled, and the Knight turned around.
“Princess!” He exclaimed as he came closer. It looked like he was about to grab her, but thought it twice and bowed down instead. Princess Tania only looked away, as if this had nothing to do with her, but he continued to speak as if he hadn’t noticed.
“Why did you run off like that? And what happened to your clothes?” he gasped but then tried to hide it. It was not proper from royalty or from its guard to panic easily.
“Knight. Get up.” she commanded, and he stood up to face her. “I have business here. And I would like to get them done by myself without anyone watching over me.”
The Knight looked puzzled and debated himself if to ask about this business or not. Finally, he said. “My Princess, the King ordered me to look after you at all time, and I will carry out my duty until the moment that we both return safely to Landuc.”
“Now you have a new order. You are free to do whatever you please, as long as it’s not watching every move I make.”
“Princess, I can’t do that—”
“But you will. Excuse me.” she’d spoken her final words to him, and now walked up to the counter to speak with the young woman, who blushed in her presence.
“Your Majesty, how can I help you?” the woman asked.
“Yes, my name is Tania of Landuc, and I have an appointment with Miss Isabelle Millar.”
The woman blinked and looked at the princess in disbelief. She was aware that Isabelle Millar was the head of the human resources department, and wondered what kind of business a princess had with them. “Sure…” she stuttered and got up from her chair. “One moment please.”
“Princess,” said the Knight’s voice from behind her. “I need to know of your business with Miss Isabelle Millar.”
“No, you don’t.” Princess Tania snapped.
“Princess, does the King have any knowledge of this meeting?”
“Yes, he does.”
“I will have to call to verify, excuse me.”
“Do you doubt the Princess’ statement…Knight?” she turned around to glare at him.
“With all due respect, Princess, but you won’t tell me anything, and I need to be informed in order to know how to proceed.”
“The Princess is telling you exactly what to do.”
He shook his head solemnly. “No, she isn’t.” he said and fished his phone from one of the bags he’d been holding, their luggage, and Princess Tania heard the phone beep as he dialed her father. She swiflty placed her hand between the phone screen and the Knight’s hand and he looked up at her quizzically.
Princess Tania didn’t know the Knight’s intentions or his personality, and wondered if he was really threatening her on telling the King about the true reason for her journey. Nevertheless, she decided that she would not take any chances with the Knight, so she snatched the phone from his hand and stuffed it in her bag.
In that moment, the administration woman came back and announced that Miss Millar was ready to see her. She thanked her and glared one last time at the Knight, hoping he understood that he had stay away. Then, she followed the administration woman through a corridor until they reached Miss Millar’s office.
Miss Isabelle Millar wore a black blazer and a cream blouse, and a very beautiful necklace with an extravagant pendant adorned her neck. When Princess Tania showed knocked on her door her face lit up, although her excitement didn’t last. She had expected to see her in the elegant and exotic robes from Landuc, but instead saw a child dressed in clothes similar to the ones Miss Millar wore. Almost like a normal girl. Nevertheless, she welcomed the Princess kindly.
“Your Majesty,” Miss Isabelle Millar said as she shook the Princess’ hand and they both smiled. She saw someone following the Princess and her eyes lit up at the sight of the man wearing the fancy Landuc clothes she had been looking forward to. “Yes, please, come in as well.” she motioned at the man to enter as well.
Princess Tania’s eyes widened in disbelief as Isabelle Millar welcomed the Knight inside and furiously turned to see him walk up to Miss Millar and shake her hand. Then, he returned to stand besides a wall, away from the two of them.
“Knight, you may leave.” the Princess ordered.
“I am required to be present with you at all moments, Princess.” he responded. “I’m sorry, Miss Millar, for the inconvenience.”
“Not at all.” Miss Millar chuckled and motioned the Princess to sit down.
Princess Tania shot the Knight all kinds of glares commanding him to leave, but he only played dumb. She was fuming. As soon as they got back to Landuc, she would speak to King to have him out of the Knights Guard. Furiously, she turned around and forced herself to smile for Miss Millar.
Finally she sighed and said, “Thank you for having me, Miss Millar.”
“The pleasure is all mine, Your Majesty, but I do wonder, why is a Princess looking for a job of this…nature…in such a far away country?” Miss Millar asked, locking her hands together.
Princess Tania looked down and breathed. She had not wanted anyone else that wasn’t Miss Millar to listen to this, but she had no choice now. “It is my dream job, Miss Millar,” she replied earnestly, looking directly into her eyes the way she did when she spoke in public. “You may not have heard of this, but when my father, the present King of Landuc, was Prince Persius, his father told him it was expected of this Royal Family to, not only learn, but to experience the life of a simp— person who isn’t royalty. My grandfather, the late King, told me this once, and since then I have been waiting to turn the legal age to apply for a job here and fulfill the tradition that my Family has followed for four generations.”
From his corner in the room, the Knight listened to the Princess’ diplomatic voice. The voice he loved. Indeed, he had heard stories of when Princes Persius left for six months to the United States to live among the normal people to work at an attraction park. He wondered if it was this one. Then, Prince Persius returned to Landuc to work at a local bakery, pertaining to the Knight’s family, and getting up each morning at 4am to serve his customers in the most respectful way.
He had never seen it, though, for it was before his time. He also remembered hearing stories of the present Queen, back when she was Princess Ailene from their neighbor Kingdom, working at a rice field after becoming part of Landuc’s Royal Family.
Miss Isabelle Millar indeed had not heard of this tradition. She would have to check later their ex-employees database to confirm the story. However, she was very eager to hire the Princess. She imagined the Princess being an attraction herself. A space where the people could take pictures with her while she told tales of her Kingdom and her experience as a princess to the guest children and parents.
“That is a very noble tradition, Your Majesty, we will be very fortunate to have you working with us.” Isabelle smiled as she accessed their Intranet and selected the Princess online application form. “I have the application you filled right here, and it says you’d like to work at the park’s stores, is that correct?”
“Yes.” the Princess nodded.
“If I may, Your Majesty,” Isabelle suggested, her eyes lit up as she spoke. “I was thinking that we could come up with something new for you here. Something like a space to read local tales from your Kingdom at one of the park’s sections, so the guests can learn about Landuc’s history and culture from a member of the Royal Family.”
Princess Tania smiled apologetically. “I’m afraid that if I’m hired here, my identity will have to remain within the least people as possible.”
“Oh,” Isabelle’s eyes widened. “There’s no need to worry about the media causing you any disturbances. The park’s security will protect you at all times, Your Majesty.” she smiled.
Princess Tania shook her head and politely declined her idea. “I do not worry about that. With all due respect, Miss Millar, I do not wish to become an attraction. I wish to become a regular employee under someone else’s order. It is how my mother, father, and grandfather lived.” she said and was brought back to her first memory of this park.
It was last year and they only remained there for four days, but her days were life changing. Ever since her grandfather told her about the Royal Family tradition a year and a half ago, she had been wondering (and worrying) where she could spend her life working as a normal person for a year. The King and Queen had told her she could pick any place in the world, and on the last day of their trip to Universal Studios, she just knew.
“I understand, your Majesty.” Isabelle replied, and proceeded with the interview. She was very interested in the life of the Royal Family and in her role as a Princess and asked several questions. Some of them were part of the protocol whenever she interviewed someone else, and some she managed to disguise as protocol questions. They discussed the time she would be working with them and they agreed with a year, for that was the time limit that she could remain there.
After an hour and a half, they were done with the interview and Princess Tania would come back to Universal Studios to work as store clerk a month from now. She explained to Miss Millar that she had to go back to Landuc and sort out the matters of her stay. Both women shook hands and Princess Tania left the office, followed by the Knight, whose presence she had completely forgotten about.
When she stepped out of the administration office, the sun blinded her and she put her sunglasses back on. From behind, she heard the Knight’s voice saying, “Where would you like to go now, Princess?”
“Didn’t you hear what I said inside? You cannot call me Princess while I’m here. And I want to sleep, so get me to my hotel.”
“But—“ the Knight managed, and saw the Princess walk ahead of him so he hurried after her. “What should I call you, then?”
“I have a name.”
For the moment, the Knight was too star-struck to speak because of the honor she was granting him. Calling people by their first name was something friends did. When they returned here, a month from now, the Princess would need a friend in disguise of a bodyguard. He would ask the King for the honor again, and he would be with the Princess for a whole year.
“Yes, Miss Tania,” hearing himself saying the Princess’ name like a normal person brought a smile to his face. For once, he was glad to be walking behind the Princess because he could hide it. “Would that mean that you’ll start calling me by name now?” he asked.
“Ah yes, what is your name?” she asked.
“It’s Wyatt, Miss.”
What an ugly name, Princess Tania thought, and stopped walking. “Are we going in the right direction?” she asked.
Knight Wyatt stopped and remembered the Princess’ command. Immediately, he reached for the phone in their luggage, only to remember that the Princess had shoved it in her bag. “Miss Tania, you…” he didn’t even want to finish that sentence out of fear that she might think it was her fault that he hadn’t called their vehicle yet. Even if they were friends now, he still had to remind himself that she was the Princess and he was just a knight under her orders. Back in his knight mindset, he summoned the courage to speak again. “You have the phone.” he said, looking down.
Princess Tania looked puzzled as she looked into her own bag for it. When she found it, she remembered her snatching it away from his hands because he wanted to call her father. Who did he think he was? She frowned and tossed the phone at the Knight. “There you go.”
He caught the phone just in time and thought of what the Princess told him before making the call and the way she acted to prevent it. Do you doubt the Princess’ statement? “Miss Tania,” he started. “I did doubt your statement before and I apologize for it.” he bowed repeatedly in regret for his thoughts.
She just sighed and crossed her arms. “You can stop doing that. You were right.” she said, annoyed to be admitting the truth to him. “The King doesn’t know yet, that’s why I have to go back to Landuc and speak to the family.”
The Knight stopped bowing and just looked at the Princess who raised an eyebrow at him, probably waiting for him to stop. “Princess, next time, please confide in me! For you, I’d be capable of fighting everyone to help you obtain whatever goal you desire, even if I have to keep a secret from the King.” he proclaimed.
First, Princess Tania was quiet and then she laughed out loud for about five minutes. The Knight looked up, unsure of what to do, but it was the first time he heard the Princess laugh like that and he thought it was a pretty great laugh, and kind of dorky.
“For now, I’m hungry and I need to sleep.” she ordered, still laughing. Being a Princess was exhausting, and for the most part, she didn’t think she was allowed to laugh like that. She thought that maybe the company wasn’t so bad after all. If he’d do what she said and was willing to get in anyone’s way to achieve that, then maybe Knight Wyatt might be a nice guy once she got to know him. “Do you think you can do that?” she asked.
A friend from work invited me to her baby shower next month and asked me if I would take my camera, a Nikon L830, and take some pictures. Sure, I didn't have a problem.
On that day, I dressed up, grabbed my camera, and told my dad to take me to the place. I was worried because I was about one hour and a half behind the time it said on the invitation, and that my friend would be upset about the pictures. That wasn’t the case, though.
When I arrived, I awkwardly looked at my surroundings. A pink light somewhere turned everything it touched to a light shade of pink. To my right, I saw a large table adorned with all sorts of candy, cake, marshmallows, muffins, balloons, flowers of them in different shades of pink. The space behind the table was decorated with baby clothes, socks and shoes, and pink letters spelling the future baby's name 'Romina'. There was also a huge teddy bear, almost as big as me. I resisted the urge to grab some of the candy because I hadn’t found my friend yet. At the realization that I was surrounded by a bunch of people I didn’t know, my awkwardness kicked in.
Luckily, my friend found me. She was wearing a blue dress with small, white flowers that, because of her pregnant belly, looked a little shorter than it really was. I also noticed that her stomach appeared bigger because of it; something I hadn’t noticed before because she only wore trousers to work. She thanked me for coming, grabbed a chair, and wedged me at a round table where all of my workmates sat. She sat me next to a guy who had quit the same year I came in and her wife, and to my left was one of girls from the accounting department with whom I’d exchanged “hi’s” and “hey’s” before, but that was it.
To be honest, I wasn’t that friendly with everyone yet. Thanks social anxiety. But everyone was friendly with me, and introduced me to all the people on my table that I didn’t know because they’d quit before I came in. I spent the next couple minutes listening to what they were talking about and just laughing whenever everyone else did, and checking Facebook, Twitter, and even playing on my phone to avoid awkwardness because I wasn’t really talking to anyone except for the occasional question. Then, they served us food.
After eating , a girl dressed like a clown announced that they were about to play some games…Because that’s a thing they do at baby showers, apparently. My mom had told me about them. They were games with baby themes, like wrapping the future mother in toilet paper, like it were a wedding dress, or eating baby food.
Clown girl was asking for participants for the first game, and someone in my table stood up, pointed at me, and yelled “She just came! She hasn’t participated in any game!”
“What?” I panicked and looked around. “No, no, no thank you!” I laughed awkwardly but I meant it. Then the person behind me was pushing me to the center of the living room, while clown girl was asking for more participants. Another guy from my table also got dragged into this. Then clown girl lined up three chairs and told the 3 boys to sit down and gave the 3 girls a glass container with what looked like baby food.
“What? What do we have to do?” I asked around at the other contestants and smelled the inside of container “What is this?”
“Girls, you have to feed your partners! The couple who finishes the container first, wins!”
Well, at least I'm not the one eating it.
"Ready? Go!"
I tried feeding my partner as quickly as possible, while the crown cheered on the three of us. “Come on, you, eat, eat, eat, eat faster!” I yelled as I shoved each spoonful of baby food in my partner’s mouth, but he wasn’t fast enough because the couple to my left finished first.
Oh well.
“Thank you to everyone for participating and now the winners will get a fantastic prize!” clown girl announced.
I returned to my seat and they were rewarding the winners with some awkwardly wrapped gift when another girl called me. “Hey, what are you doing sitting down? Take their picture!”
Right. I took my camera out of its bag and went to where the winners were. My pregnant friend’s husband was taking a picture of her and the winners with his phone, and then I came and took more pictures. It was one picture of the winner with their prize, one picture of the winner and the future mom, and one picture of the winner with the future parents. While I took the pictures, I tried to look as professional as possible.
“Now for the next game, I’m going to ask four more participants! Three ladies!” said clown girl. Since no one was standing up, clown girl ended up handpicking four women from the audience.
I sat back on my table and munched on some small sandwiches until clown girl had readied all the girls for the game. When I saw that they were about to start, I shot up from the table and started filming.
“For this game,” started clown girl. “I’m going to give the participants a roll of toilet paper, and you’ll have to guess how large the future mommy’s belly is by using the toilet paper’s little squares”
What? Clown girl passed by each contestant and they all ripped out large stripes of it. When everyone had their stripe, clown girl had the contestants wrap their strand of toilet paper around the future mom’s belly. Oh, so the ends of each stripe of toilet paper had to touch barely when wrapped around her belly for one of them to win. Got it.
After everyone tested her stripe of paper, one girl had it just right, so she was the winner. I turned off video and proceeded to take pictures of the winner with the future parents.
After that game, came the classical dancing chairs game. A must-have at every kid’s party…and at baby showers too, apparently. Before coming, I hadn’t known that they were like an actual kid party.
The dancing chairs game consisted in gathering a small number of participants, and lining up one chair less than that number, and each chair had to face the opposite side of the one next to it. Then the host played some music and the participants danced around the chairs. When the music stopped, they had to sit down, and since there was one chair less, that meant that one participant would remain standing. That participant was eliminated from the game. Then, the removed one chair, and so on until there was only one seated participant. They were the winner.
I always loved to participate at that game when I was a kid at parties. Sometimes two kids ended up sitting on the same chair. Sometimes two kids fought because they'd touched a chair but one of them sat first but the other claimed that they touched it first so it was theirs. Sometimes kids pulled out the chair from the line and turned it around to sit on it (this was against the rules, I think). Some kids pulled the chair away from another kid that was about to sit, so that kid ended up falling on their butt.
Laughter was guaranteed. I don’t recall doing any of this, but I was very active as a child, so I wouldn’t put it beneath me.
Participating right now would have been fun, but filming was practically my job now. I hadn’t sat down much because the games were being played right after the other. Besides, I thought it was best if everyone you played with was your friend because— of all the aforementioned. Not that I thought any of that would happen because we're all grown ups here. Technically.
Right now, I only saw myself behaving like that among my closest friends, and none of them were there. Filming was fine. I had a good laugh.
“And now for the final game,” announced clown girl. “I need three participants” Two girls from my work stepped in and they pushed another girl to play too. Clown girl grabbed a chair and placed it on the other side of the room, roughly 3 meters away from the participants.
“You are going to pretend that you’re pregnant!” she announced and I laughed out loud. “And your child is coming! And the hospital is right there!” she pointed at the chair, and she turned to one of the girls.
“What’s your name, friend?”
“Gianella.”
“How much does it hurt Gianella?”
“A lot!” laughed Gianella.
“But you don’t look like you’re pregnant! Does it hurt?”
Gianella held her belly as if she were pregnant and yelled “Yes! A lot!”
“Well, let me tell you that the hospital is over there” clown girl pointed at the chair.
“But what do I have to do?" Gianella whispered. "I just go over there?”
“Yes! You have to believe that you’re going to make it to the hospital and give birth! To a beautiful, healthy baby!”
Gianella held her belly and awkwardly walked over to the chair while she yelled weakly “My boy, he's coming out! Where is my husband??” then she sat on the chair with her legs spread and laughed. “Ok, I did it!”
“Ok, ok! Everyone, applauses!” echoed clown girl and called the next contestant. “Friend, is it hurting?”
She held her belly and bend backwards, screaming “Yes! It hurts!”
“Well the hospital is over there!”
This girl cried in a high pitch almost as if she were really in pain, and I wanted to laugh so hard. She grabbed her belly and took heavy steps as she ‘cried’ in ‘pain’ “My kid! My kid is coming out!” she yelled and then she stopped and tiptoed to the chair where she sprawled and laughed.
“Ahh it’s out!” she cried some more.
“Bravo!” cheered everyone.
Clown girl asked the same question to the third contestant and she yelled. “Yes! It hurts a lot!”
“But I see you’re standing just fine” clown girl said and I laughed again. “Tell me, friend, does it hurt?” she turned the microphone to the third contestant and she tried to answer but she just laughed, and with her, so did everyone else. She tried answering but clown girl cut her off.
“Well the hospital is over there. Go!”
The third girl only walked over to the chair giggling. She didn’t even sit down.
Contestant #2 won, of course, and I took pictures.
After that, my friend, the future mom, gathered a bunch of people at the table and she asked me to take pictures of them. I hadn’t noticed before that the table was also decorated with photo booth accessories, like pictures of big lips, mustaches, hats, fun glasses, etc, printed on a piece of paper and glued to a wooden stick so people could hold in front of their faces and take pictures. Everyone wanted a picture of themselves with the future mommy, the future parents, or just of themselves wearing the photo booth accessories at the pink table.
When the other guests saw that I was taking pictures of everyone with my camera, they gave me their cameras and their phones to take pictures of them, so I alternated between devices. Luckily, my camera came with a cord so I could hang it on my neck. I had to admit I felt like a pro taking those pictures. I arched my back, tilted my head, bend my knees, closed one eye, told people how to pose, and to move where the light was better. I was in a few pictures with the people I work with too. My friend’s husband offered to take the picture of us with my camera.
And that’s it. That’s the story of how I survived my first baby shower, and how I secured my safety for the rest of the night, not only from the rest of the games but also from the awkward conversation (or lack thereof) at the table. By taking it upon myself to film all the games and take pictures of everything as if I’d been truly hired.
My palms were sweaty when she entered the room, and I’d only been here less than ten minutes. When she came through the door she looked around, inspected her surroundings. It was habit of hers to do whenever she went somewhere she hadn’t been to before. I think that even if I had told her that she didn’t have to worry about that here; that this place was safe, she would have still done it. I wanted to smile so that when I got her attention within the crowd, she would smile at me too, but my heart sank a little every time I saw her looking around as if she were being followed. This also filled me with more resolve to say what I needed to say.
I tried to smile as I raised my hand to get her attention, and she smiled when she saw me, mouthing “Hey”. As she approached where I was seated, I lowered my eyes and looked somewhere else, thinking that she could tell what I was feeling, and I refused to let her know I was worried. This was not the time for that, I told myself.
Instead, I focused on the wind brushing my hair. Would it mess it up? I looked down on my clothes and asked myself if they were all right. I was wearing washed up jeans and a button shirt. I wanted to look casual so I could say that I’d just gotten out of class or that I was hanging out with another friend and then I came here.
“Hey,” she said and sat down next to me. I noticed she was wearing her hair down, something she only did when she was relaxed. The other days I saw her, she was wearing a high ponytail, or half of her hair was clipped in a bun, while the other half just fell over her back as if it were a cape. This new image of her deciding not to clip her hair in order to be relaxed here with me replaced the one of her when she set foot in here.
“Hey,” I said. “You don’t have to look around in this place. It’s very safe.” I reassured her with a smile.
She shook her head. “I don’t want to let my guard down.” she replied casually, as if she’d come to be in good terms with her fate. “Where are we, anyways?”
“In Salta. My house is nearby.” I looked to my right, where my house was just a couple of blocks away from here.
“Really?” she smiled, trying to get a look at my face.
“Yes, this is a cool park, it’s got everything you need, like a playground for children, an exercising playground for adults and old people, an animal area, some wildlife, a cycling and running and walking circuit. I come here a lot with my brother and sister, and as kids we came with our parents.”
She turned quiet for a moment, leaving me confused for a moment, and wondering if I’d said something wrong. Then, she smiled apparently uncomfortable and looked into the distance to which I could only respond with a puzzled look.
“Victor, what is it?” she said softly while she looked at me. “Why are we on this place that means so much to you?”
I let out a breathe. I think that if she hadn’t felt this uncomfortable, she would have replied with her trademark phrase. You can’t hide anything from a senser. “Yes,” I chuckled. “There is something I want to say.” I turned to look at her smiling and she was looking at me. “And that is that I like you. A lot.”
Her eyes widened up and she opened her mouth, but nothing came out of it, and her attempts at talking were in vain.
I frowned. “What’s wrong?”
In the end, she just let out an exhaustive breathe. “I just…don’t know what to say…” she said sheepishly.
Honestly, I didn’t know what to reply to that either. Naturally, I expected an answer, but I ended up saying a little discouraged that she didn’t need to say anything back, which was a lie. I’d only done this two times previously, and they’d always knew what to say, even if the answer wasn’t that they liked me back or that they wanted to go out. Then I thought that maybe this could be the first time someone’s said this to her, given that she was sixteen and he was twenty. The experience was on his side.
“That’s a lie, of course you do. I can tell you’re discouraged and disappointed.”
That was a lie. Discouraged, a little, perhaps. I didn’t know what was going to happen, and it’s made me a little sad her lack of answer. But I was not disappointed. “No, I’m not.” I said a little confused.
She sighed, looking down everywhere but me. “I still don’t know what to say.”
“Just say what you’re thinking.”
There was pain in her voice when she replied. “I’m thinking…that we have no time for this.”
“That’s wrong, you know? It’s what I keep repeating you and you don’t get it.”
“What is that?” she asks firmly.
“That you’re wasting your life and you barely live.” It sounded more like a pleading.
She frowns, evidently offended. “What does that have to do with this?”
I thought so for a while, then responded, “Nothing, but—”
“You don’t have time for this either.” she snapped.
“You can’t tell me that.” And then neither of us said anything for a while.
Then I wondered what it was like in her mind. She had the power of knowing and sometimes even channeling people’s feelings, so she must have sensed mine. She must have known what I was feeling. I’d heard from my sister that people with this ability were usually understanding precisely because they literally do know what the other person is feeling, but despite those powers of hers, she could still be cold and the opposite of an empath. It felt almost as if I were the empath on this conversation instead of her.
I looked around at the people at the park and everyone else was engaging on some activity. None of them were quiet or thinking, except us. I was growing sincerely tired of this silence between us and refused to walk out of here without knowing what she truly felt. I knew that her “we have no time for this” speech was like a pre-programmed answer, so I insisted.
“Can you at least tell me what you feel?” I asked.
She studied me for a bit and looked into my eyes as she replied. “I like you, but I don’t think you understand.” she brought her hand to her chest and let the words flow with enough emotion as if she was acting a monologue. “I understand how you feel about me. I can feel it, and when I try to compare it to the way I feel about you, it’s not the same. And it’s not what you want to hear, and I can feel your discouragement and yes, your disappointment as well. Because moments like this you expect them to end on a happy note, but giving you that would only be lying to both of us.” she ended her speech by locking eyes with me, defying me to admit that this wasn’t what I wanted to hear.
I would have never admitted that what she was saying was true, at least not entirely. “You don’t have to feel the same way I do.” I replied and it was true. My back was starting to hurt so I had to stretch it out a bit. “I just wanted you to know what I felt.”
“Yeah but to what end?” she insisted. “I wish I could, really, feel with as much passion as you do about someone else, but I don’t. I think I only know one kind of love, and it’s the love I feel for everyone I know. My family, my friends, my team.”
“You don’t have to change that” was what I found myself saying. And it was true. “I just wanted you to know what I felt.”
“Again, I don’t understand!” she snapped. She refused to face me, not even look at me from the corner of her eye. Instead, she just frowned at whatever that passed in front of her.
By now, I knew well enough to not say anything or even touch a girl who looked like that, and just let her sort her thoughts. Al though, it didn’t stop me from trying to figure out what she was thinking. All I did to try was glancing at her. Her features softened with every passing second until her face turned solemn. What was she thinking and why did she seem to take my feelings as if they were about to ruin the fate she’d planned? Nevertheless, I realized that if she were to abandon or at least take her fate less seriously because of me, then that would have made me happy.
She was obsessive and a martyr and planned to live a life I didn’t wish for anyone.
“I think you should stop.” she said to the wind, snapping me away from my thoughts, turning to look at her. “You don’t have to come to the gymnasium so that we won’t run into each other, and I’ll try to go at a different time so I don’t run into your sister either.”
“You think it’ll go away like that?” I asked offended. She opened her mouth but I kept talking. “No no no, before you say anything else, it won’t and whatever you or I do won’t make it go away, so things can stay the same, you see?”
“I know part of you tries to take away my focus on what I’m doing and must do.” she glared at me.
“I’m not try—”
“That’s a lie.”
I sighed. “That’s not what I’m trying to do. Things can stay the same.” I reassured her, and it was true. I didn’t mind.
She looked at me incredulously. “They can?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m still sorry though, for not being reciprocal.”
“No, don’t be sorry,” I chuckled. “It happens to everyone.”
“I know, that’s why I’m sorry.”
It went without saying that she had experienced this before. I tried to imagine her a couple years ago before she had her abilities, and taking reject in a different way I am taking it. The first time I told a girl I liked her went smoothly, thank God, but there were a couple of times after that when things didn’t go according to what I had planned, and I never imagined then that I would take reject the way I am taking it now. Maybe it was hearing calmness in her voice when I told her things could stay the same was what helped me keep it together. I knew I didn’t want to stop seeing her and knowing that she didn’t want that either made me a little happy, even if it meant that she would stay the same reckless person I knew.
“How do you do it?” she asked. “Taking it like that.”
“With experience.” I said and we both laughed.
“Hey,” I said scooting closer to her and whispered. “I haven’t had the chance to ask this to anyone because I haven’t been with anyone since I was eighteen, but how is it to feel that kind of emotion from someone else?”
“Oh, well like with every other emotion it’s easy to let go by it. I really need to stop what I’m doing to focus on my own emotions, and once I have that clear in my head, I don’t get confused. It’s also different with every emotion and every person.”
“Do you have to do that every time you’re around people?”
“Not so much now, and not with everyone.” she said.
“It still looks complicated.”
“It is, but it was a lot harder when I was just starting.” she laughed. “That was truly the definition of complicated. I couldn’t even go to school without looking like a crazy person!”
She’s never seemed like a person who would look or do anything crazy, so imagining her like one made me think of a cartoon that looked like her, and I laughed aloud.
Feeling our laughing faces so close together made me think of something. Something I thought I’d never had the chance to do again. In those brief seconds, I tried looking into the future but didn’t see a moment as perfect as this, where both of our faces and close and laughing about our past after a tense moment. So I closed the distance within our faces and went for her lips while my hands rested right where they were, one on my lap, and the other hugging the bench we were sitting on. I didn’t dare touch her anywhere else in fear that she might realize and break out of it.
To my surprise, she was kissing me back and I couldn’t think of anything else but the feeling of her lips against mine and memorizing them in case the worst happened. Suddenly, I couldn’t stop myself and placed the hand that hugged the bench on her face as if trying to pull her closer somehow to me, but that’s when she realized and pulled away. I felt, not only the absence of her lips on mine but a pair of hands pushing my chest. I opened my eyes to the sight of her looking betrayed at me. Her lips twitched and her hands were shaking.
“That’s enough.” her hoarse voice trembled, and she stood up walking away from me.
I knew in my heart that I didn’t want to make a scene back then after seeing the man of my life touching another girl, caressing her face and leaning in to kiss her stupid face, so I just clamped my hand against my mouth to keep myself from sobbing and ran away from there.
My head fell as heavy as a brick. It was almost as if the only thing keeping it attached to my brain was the strength applied in my hand to keep the sobbing from escaping and bring attention to me. Then I felt my hand wet, and I knew I had to run so I did. I ran through the streets as fast as I could. Eventually, my lungs craved for air so I released my hand from my mouth and I heard my own breathing shaking. Finally, I found a coffee shop, so I entered and dashed to the bathroom.
Locked inside, I let everything out; how tired I was from running, of men, of sneaky sluts like her. I blamed everything about him, his stupid hair, his soft voice, his beautiful eyes, all the fun we had, the movies we watched, the parties we went to, the times we studied, the food we ate. I flushed all those stupid memories down the toilet to muffle my ugly crying.
After replaying our moments together, I thought I would have an answer as to why did this happen. In all of my memories, he seemed happy, he never complained about anything. If he had a wish, I was a happy to make it true, and whenever I did, he would smile. I always did make him smile. I was perfect. As for that girl, I bet she wouldn’t be capable of even waking up early to make him breakfast in bed like I could have.
Where did she come from anyway? I’d never seen her before. She wasn’t one of his friends from school, or a neighbor, or even a friend of a friend or family. That slut had to be an online friend. I’d never even touched his phone before. That’s how perfect I was. He must have been writing her for some time at some stupid online chat where you only meet strangers and decided to meet her today, which meant he’s been two-timing us. At that realization, I started to cry again, this time it was silent, as if my eyes were on automatic and not really watering because my brain told them to. My brain was busy trying to really think now.
I stared numbly at the bathroom door as tears kept wetting my face more and more. When I finally snapped out of it, I realized I didn’t have a plan. Without him, I was incomplete. In the end, I decided to call a friend; someone who could think for me.
She picked up on the third ring. “Hello.”
I tried to steady my voice but it still came out as a whimper and sniffed in between words “I saw him…with someone else.”
“Oh no. Where?”
I dropped my face in my hands. It was starting to hurt again and I had to hold back the tears while I was speaking. I didn’t want to sound pathetic. But I still failed. Between shivering breaths, tears and snot, I tried to explain to her that I was going to the movies to meet him and the first thing I saw was him leaning in to kiss her.
“I’m so sorry, Natalia.”
More than an apology, all I wished for right now was for a hug and a glass of water. And a bucket of ice-cream.
“But maybe it’s for the best, you know? Your whole world was spinning around that boy, and you should take this um…sour moment…as a chance for freedom.”
“BUT I DON’T WANT TO BE FREE BY MYSELF! I WANTED TO BE FREE WITH HIM!” I broke down crying as soon after I yelled.
None of us said a word, and we only listened to me crying my heart out.
“I am sorry,” she said finally. “Do you…want to come to my place and eat something? My treat.” somehow, she was able to sound cheerful.
“Yes” I sniffed and wiped away my tears.
“That’s good. Ok, I’ll see you tonight, friend. You need to be positive that you’ll be able to forget that idiot and find someone much better, right?”
Something in me clicked then, her words replayed on my head a hundred times and without noticing, I was no longer holding my phone against my ear. I sniffed once more and headed out of the bathroom.
There was no way I could ever forget about him. He was my soul mate, the man of my dreams. I was so happy when he showed up in my life like an angel in disguise, shining so bright with the sky as background and the light of sun forming an aureole on his head. That’s how he perfect he was. The only difference was that now I wasn’t the only one who saw it. This was just a competition, and the prize was worth the pain and the struggle.
When I thought of it that way, it managed to ease my anger. That girl wasn’t a slut. She was like me. She saw the same thing I saw, and just like me, she went after what she wanted.
However, what she wanted wasn’t hers to take, and as perfect, and angel-like as he was in my eyes, he was really a human. A perfect human nonetheless, but a human in the end. Humans, unfortunately, made mistakes, but I, as another human being, make mistakes too. He never once looked at my mistakes! There weren’t many of them, like I said, I was the perfect girlfriend, so now it was my turn to do the same for him. Because I loved him, and when two people love each other, they forgive their mistakes. They help each other correct them and be better.
My friend was right. I need to be positive so I’ll be able to forget about his stupid mistakes, and once he learns from them, he’ll become a much better person. The person I deserve.
I’d been too excited thinking about what I had to do now, that I didn’t even noticed I’d walked all the way back to the theaters were me and him were meeting. By now, that other girl should have been gone, but when I stepped inside there she was, still with him. But I wasn’t mad anymore, my tears had dried and in my heart, I knew what I had to do now.
I approached them at a steady pace and reached for the small knife I keep in my purse, just in case I found myself in trouble. Girls nowadays have to be prepared for anything. She looked up at me and I stabbed her in the stomach repeatedly. As her warm blood splashed all over my arm and stained my clothes, I delighted in the way her eyes ran out of life, and how her gray lips no longer looked kissable.
He stood up and grabbed me by the shoulder, slapping away the knife from my hand. “What the fuck are you doing?” he yelled at me between tears.
“I fixed it for you.”
He just kept on yelling at me. “Fixed what? Who are you?” And he cried, but I let both of them have that, because his prize, which is me, must also come with pain and struggle. As for her, I let him call an ambulance so they could declare her dead and have a proper burial.
I fixed my boyfriend’s mistakes, and let my competitor fall with pride. That’s how benevolent I was. He didn’t see it now, but like me, he just needed to realize it on his own.
In which writer pj comes back from the 2016 grave to deliver a story every week.
I haven’t done anything today. Correction. I have done nothing productive this day. I, myself, do not think it’s humanely possible to just sit all day staring at the ceiling, thinking about immortality. I spent all day busying myself with very inane and mechanical tasks that took over my human ability to think for myself, not just shut my brain and work on autopilot. Among other inane things like channel surfing and watching movies with my dog Ally, I also walked Ally (we took a different route and she loved sniffing all the new plants and streets and the scent of the animals that previously marked their territory), and did the groceries. Only for tomorrow though.
And I napped. I hadn’t taken a nap since last year, so naturally, I felt refreshed when I woke up, like a new person. The only problem was that upon gazing at the clock, I noticed I’d slept all afternoon, evening and even part of the night. I woke up nearly at 11pm.
I didn’t process the darkness surrounding me as I opened my eyes. I must have thought that the night was just starting when I picked up my phone and its screen glowed upon my face, because I could only think that I would just check the time and fall back to sleep. But I saw the clock marking 11:20 pm and barely reacted. I got out of bed yawning and stretching as carelessly as Ally, blinked at my surrounding and shuffled to the bathroom. There, I washed my face and emptied my bladder. After I flushed, Ally came to me crying and started jumping and clinging to my leg. I’d slept all day so she must have been starving. I went to the kitchen, followed by a desperate Ally and I filled her plate with her dog, and before I’d placed her plate on the floor, she was already jumping for it.
11:30pm
After feeding Ally, I realized I wasn’t feeling groggy anymore and worried that I wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep. Then I quickly brushed it away. I just needed to watch a couple of videos or a movie (a boring one) to tire myself and pass out. I’d never had problems sleeping before, and as soon as I remembered that, I was at ease. I grabbed my laptop and went to bed. I called Ally to come to bed with me, but she stopped at her makeshift bed near mine where she curled up into a ball, meaning she was going to sleep.
The sight of her curling into a small fur ball, which always melts my heart a little, deflated me this time. I sighed and brushed it away; realizing that fixing her sleeping schedule was more difficult than fixing mine
I opened my laptop and turned it on, waited for a while and then opened my browser. I didn’t know what I was in the mood for watching so first I thought I could watch a couple of videos, maybe there’d be some updates on my favorite creators….which there was. I smiled and clicked on one video, then another one, then the site suggested me more videos related to this one. A creator I hadn’t heard from in a while uploaded something and it filled me nostalgia, so I had to watch a couple of their older videos. Soon, I was laughing so hard I’d forgotten about the fact that I’d slept all day and that I wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep in a long while. I’d also forgotten about Ally sleeping in the same room as me. Luckily, I didn’t wake her up. That dog’s sleep can be deeper than mine, I always have to check if she’s still breathing.
1:30am
My stomach startled grumbling so I checked the time. I wasn’t surprised to see that it was so late, but a little worried that after two hours I wasn’t getting any tired. In fact, I had just as much energy as I did when I ate my breakfast this morning. I told myself to give up on sleep for one night and got up to the kitchen. There, I grabbed from the refrigerator a package of frozen pizza I’d bought that day and heated it on the microwave. I accompanied it with a glass of coke and went back to my room.
I didn’t feel like watching any more videos, so I searched up for a movie. On the browser, I typed the name of this site that lets you watch movies and series online for free, and checked what new movies they had. I scrolled through the site’s catalogue as I ate my pizza, but I found nothing that appealed to me at that moment. I tried not to eat the entire pizza (it was a portion for one anyways), but I didn’t want it to get cold, so I finished it before ever finding something to watch.
Pizza was over and I was still hungry. As I passed in front of Ally to go to the kitchen again, I noticed her slightly moving her paws. I wanted to shake it, but then I would wake her up, so I carried on my way. At the kitchen, I didn’t find anything I wanted to eat and I wasn’t about to cook something at 2 in the morning. That meant dirty dishes, which I tried to avoid whenever I could. The only other solution was to go out and buy something to eat. I had money, a car, a good reason, and more importantly; energy.
I got on my car and drove around until I found an open McDonalds, where I ordered a big hamburger, fried and soda combo. I paid for my food and munched on the fries on my way back home, rekindling my love for them. Maybe I should have ordered an extra portion. I considered it for a while as I drove. Once again, I meditated. I had the money, the car, a good reason, and the energy, so I returned to the McDonalds and got myself another big portion of fries.
Worried that the smell of meat might somehow wake up Ally, I brought my computer to the kitchen, closed my bedroom’s door, and watched a couple more videos as I ate. Officially, I’d declared this, the best food I’ve had in months.
3:45am
After eating, I looked at my surroundings and noticed I started to blink heavily. I knew I couldn’t fall sleep right now, though. I’d just eaten a lot of food and going to sleep after that provoked nightmares, which I obviously preferred to avoid, so I tried to busy myself somehow. I cleaned the kitchen a bit, even inside those narrow sectors and upper cabinets, the top of the pantry and the refrigerator and mopped the floor. Now this kitchen could survive a month or two with a cleanup like this one.
I went to my bathroom and brushed my teeth. As I returned to my room, I checked my phone and saw I had a message from my girlfriend, Aria.
“Are you awake?” The message was sent an hour ago. There was also a missed phone call from over an hour ago.
I rang her phone and she picked up after the third ring.
“Hey, sorry I couldn’t answer, did something happen?” I asked.
She just mumbled something unintelligible and then hung up. I chuckled because she has that habit of sounding like a real baby when she’s dead tired. Aria likes to stay up until very late at night. We’re polar opposites on that aspect. I’m a morning bird, and she’s the night owl. Not tonight though.
I was back to being a bored person with a full stomach and also full of energy. It was past 4am already, so I decided it was time to do something useful. I went to my small library and picked up my economics book. I didn’t really have homework or a test coming up (thankfully), but during the last two classes I’d been somewhat lost, so the plan was to try to understand it from the book, my notes and some help from the internet.
5:00am
I’d already lost track of time, but I was ninety nine percent sure I would have to ask someone for help with this. Our teacher had a special method for teaching this new topic, so the procedure I wrote down on my notes and the procedure that the book and the people on the internet explain are not the same. Frustrated, I scratched my head thinking who I could ask for help. I also cursed myself for skipping that class about a month ago, where the teacher probably began explaining the motive for my torture on a Sunday (Monday already) night at— I checked my phone, 5:12am.
Then it hit me. Yes, I did know a girl in that class who I could approach to for tutoring. She wasn’t my friend, exactly, but I’d talked to her in the past. Now I just had to ask her and pray she’s available for explaining this topic to me before the next economics class. She was also in my statistics class, which we had tomorrow, so I would ask her then. I slapped the book closed. Problem solved. (Hopefully)
5:30am
Finally, I yawned. This time I knew I had to give in. I blinked rapidly for about thirty seconds because I heard before that it makes your eyelids tired, therefore, sending you to sleep more quickly. They don’t tell you it can be dizzying, though. As I finished blinking, indeed with my eyes a bit more tired, I turned off my computer, picked up my book, notebook, and pencil from my bed, and placed them all on my couch.
When I was on my bed, I texted Aria saying that I’d returned her call but she was already fast asleep. I told her that I hadn’t been able to sleep up until now and that I’d be going to sleep now and that I’d call her when I woke up.
I checked my phone one last time and let out a sigh in defeat because I realized that soon Ally would wake up and cry to be taken outside to the bathroom.
