At this time of night
We would be talking about our day. How amazing it was and how Daredevil was "better" than Jessica Jones. You would ask me what time it was because you wanted to talk to me forever but had to sleep at 11:30 since you had to wake up at 6 a.m. to go to band practice. I would lie sometimes and say it was 11:25 to get another 5 minutes with you. You knew it was 11:30 but stayed up until 12 with me. I stay up at this hour still and hope you're still awake thinking about me and how our days were, having a conversation with me in your head. Maybe you're even hearing me, talk about Spanish since I sent you a voice memo of my Spanish project to help you sleep when I wasn't around. I hope you're asleep dreaming about our conversations and holding me while you dream. I hope you still love me somewhere in your heart because I failed to keep my promise. I keep your lanyard close to me everyday and all night. I hold it tight like my life depends on it, because it really does. I stare at your sleeping face on my screen most nights hoping you're still that happy boy I put to sleep every night. I read your music notes most weekends because it hurts to not have a text from you. I reread your loving messages because they are beautiful like you. They warm me up and I believe them every time because you meant it when you sent it.