#5:31am

[ajyal-azez]

من آمن بشهوة المزيد، فقدَ طمأنينةَ الاكتفاء.

[t4kalcvr]

BACK TO ME 5:31 AM — rockstar!semi eita x fem!reader

I can make you mad.

You stormed out of your shared apartment, the strap of your bag being strangled in your death grip as the purse swung around from the aggressive and heavy swings of your arms. Your ankles hurting from your heels and the bending of them from your frantic speed walking but all of it, you could care less about. You were furious right now.

“Y/N!!” you heard your name being called from the porch of your apartment yet still kept making your way to your car.

You heard rushed steps coming closer behind you, huffing as you knew just what was about to happen, and from the annoyance of not having the energy and patience to escape the grip now on your wrist.

“Let go of me!!” you yelled, “Fuck off Eita!!” you continued as you used your remaining strength to yank your entire arm toward you. Your patience melted away not too long ago and this was only making it worse, draining your meter below 0.

“Y/N, please just- let’s talk, please!” he begged as he loosened his grip, he didn’t want to hurt you. However, you whipped your head the other way after yanking your wrist back and proceeded to storm off.

“Okay! Fuck you, Semi,” you gave a short and bitter smile before frowning again, “There! Nice talk!” you rose your brows as you faked a sweet and falsetto tone.

Semi groaned in frustration. He didn’t mean to piss you off, really, he just expected this to go a little better. But then again he was never good at this prediction and reaction stuff, especially when it came to you. He thought you’d support him in everything even if sometimes he did make mistakes and fucked up every now and then. Regardless, he didn’t think you’d care this much to actually argue.

“Y/N—” he tried again only to be cut short.

“Semi,” he heard your voice crack, making his breath stop short as well, he felt the same burn you did and the same painful twinge of heart ache at the sound of your broken voice, “Please,” you sniffled, “just leave me alone.”

And his heart felt the sharpest sting at your words, before he slowly and quietly made his way back into the apartment, as you made it to the car, drove off and sobbed in the drivers seat.

I can make you scream.

It had been a week since the incident and Semi was miserable to say the least. He thought you’d return by morning. The same morning. But much to his heart ache, you were at a motel for an entire week.

It wasn’t until he heard the door opening at the ungodly hour of 4 am that he sat up so quickly on the sofa, watching as you entered in the same clothes you left in.

You paused as you met eyes with him. Guilt and tension already settling in the room as you made your way over to the couch. Semi had scooted over slightly, assuming that you’d want larger space than usually between you two.

You inhaled a deep, sharp breath before speaking, “Semi,” you began as you would flicker your eyes from your lap to his own momentarily, “I’m—” he cut you off.

“No! Don’t apologize!” he sighed, a small smile adorning his lips, he loved you so, he just wanted this silly bickering to stop. But that wouldn’t be the case as he instantly noticed an offended look on your face.

“Apah-” you wheezed, a sarcastic and stunned laugh threatening to slip out. “Apah! Apologize for what? I have nothing to say sorry for!” you immediately rose your voice.

Semi was stunned to say the least. “Um maybe for leaving me for a week without notice? Maybe for storming out the other night? Jeez Y/N I don’t know!?” he began shouting right back.

You took a calm inhale, closing your eyes and moving your hands along with your breathing before staring Semi straight in the eyes. “SCREW YOU!” you screamed. “I DON’T NEED TO SAY SORRY FOR ANYTHING. EVERYTHING I DID WAS REASONABLE BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU SAID. YOU NEED TO APOLOGIZE TO ME IF ANYTHING!” your voice emphasized a couple words as you stood during your tangent.

Semi let out an airy laugh before placing his hands as on knees and getting up, “Alright.” he spoke with his tongue stabbing his cheek, “I’m sorry..” he mumbled, and you hummed to signal you were listening, “sorry that YOURE SO CHILDISH!” he shouted back in frustration.

You scoffed as you put your hand back up to imitate the “talk to the hand” motion as you rolled your eyes and looked the other way.

That night was spent as is. Screaming and toxic thoughts, immature behavior, and neighbors checking up on you two.

I can make you cry.

Two weeks this time. You two didn’t talk to each other, and with your power, Semi was the one who slept on the couch as you slept in the once shared bedroom.

And as if things could not get any worse between the two of you, a simple night where Semi was angry not with himself but with you, he finally had enough of this. So, he stormed upstairs—blankets and pillows in hand—with an angry expression plastered on his face and halted at the gut wrenching sound echoing through the upstairs hallway.

Whimpers and choked up coughs. You were crying.

Semi dropped all he was carrying as he quietly crept towards the bedroom door, only to peek in and find you with your knees to your chest, hugging them and your forehead resting on top of your knees.

Scratch before, you were sobbing.

He didn’t know how much this had hurt you. And now he felt really stupid for it. Maybe he’ll just let you cry for now, and fix everything up right tomorrow.

I can make you leave.

Semi tried. He really did. He apologized. He said he was sorry. What did he do wrong? Nothing! Absolutely nothing!

….. okay maybe one thing.

“I CAN’T STAND YOU UGH! HOW CAN YOU BE SAYING ALL OF THAT LIKE NOTHING!!!” you were throwing every nearby object at him. Pillow, blankets, plushies, clothes….. lamps, platformed shoes, desk drawers, chargers, coasters.

“Y/N!!! STOP THAT STUFF HURTS!!” Semi whined.

“GOOD YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING BASTARD. HURT. CRY. DO IT.” you encouraged through rage, you were fuming so hard that your neck was red and you felt the physical temperature of your blood boiling up to your face.

“YOU KNOW IF IM SO GOOD FOR NOTHING THEN WHY NOT JUST LEAVE??!!” he screamed through your rampage. Suddenly, everything stopped.

You could only hear yours and his deep, labored breathing and the small shuffle of feet. “You wanna break up?” you rasped, your voice rough and dry from all the shouting.

No, I want to work this out. No, but if you want to. No, but I want what’s best for you. No, but you just made me feel really insecure..

“Yes.” he spoke back.

You dropped the last item in your hand by your feet, “I’ll be gone in three days.”

I can make you hate me for everything.

You kept your word. All your belongings were packed in two days but you kept the third to make sure all was packed and because of the moving truck. You were going to go back to your parents house not too far and go apartment hunting asap.

But the third day seemed long so you went ahead and pulled out your laptop, opening a website and scrolling through possible options.

You heard footsteps coming down from the stairs, “Just can’t wait to leave huh?” Semi’s bitter tone of voice rang through the emptier apartment. Most of the decor was yours, he had loved letting you style up his old apartment to something more appealing, made it feel more like home with you everywhere.

“You’re the one who suggested, and I’m not going to be some bum loser in my parents’ basement.” you spat back.

He let out another sour laugh, “whatever.”

And even if you thought that was the end, it most definitely wasn’t, “Trust me, living in your parents’ basement isn’t what’s making you a bum.” And as much as it stung Semi to say, he was still angry.

“Fuck you Eita.” you seethed.

“Can’t anymore sweetheart, and please, just call me Semi.” he grinned as he grabbed himself some coffee from the kitchen.

“No problem. I fucking hate you Semi.”

But I can’t make you come back to me.

Semi gripped his guitar, fidgeting with the red bass guitar keychain dangling from his jeans, he was remembering all you had done for him. You supported him through everything and he never returned your kind gestures, he was selfish and he would’ve been further consumed by his negative thoughts but he heard his bandmate shout from stage, “Sem! Come on! Shows about to start, we need our best out here!!”

I can make a world out of broken dreams.

He felt his voice have a slight crack at the memories flooding his mind, oh of what could have been. What if’s flashing all over as he scanned the crowd through blurry vision. Could he have spent his time on one knee right now asking for your hand? He could. But he decided to spend it on both knees, asking for forgiveness, picturing you, picturing the perfect you two could have had. Anything to make his heart feel a little less heavy.

I can make you say things you don’t mean.

All your insults and angry, furious, frustrated words flashing through his head. Those words were never heard of until those nights. That single month of non-stop fighting and yelling. Hell Month. A month he could’ve spent loving you last before he set off. But no, you both spewed venom at each other like you truly felt nothing. And it could’ve been avoided if he tried to be even the slightest bit considerate of how you ever felt.

I can unmake all we were made to be.

In his head, it was still you two. You physically separated from him but you were still frustratingly imprinted and tattooed into his heart and soul. He never loved anyone like he loved you. Hell he never even loved anyone, and then you struck him down to be head over heels with you. Love was stupid. It always made things hurt more, Semi strained as he put his raw emotion into his performance.

But i can’t make you come back to me.

So, if that was the case, why can Semi swear he’s seeing you appear backstage right now, flowers in hand and a large gift. He immediately halted all movements, almost dropping his guitar if there wasn’t a strap to it.

He wanted to ask so many questions, because it had been 2 years.

“I heard you were performing here..” your voice was weak, but you looked so beautiful. God, it hurt Semi so much to see you because all he wanted to do was touch you to prove this wasn’t a dream, to kiss you because if it was.. “And I missed you, Semi…”

he did not want it to end.

copyright © t4kalcvr 2023 all rights reserved

a/n: this is like my first “drabble” cuz i’m so obsessed with this song rn and idk i got semi vibez from it if his gf and him ever ended up like this because it’s semi although it could also qualify for suna maybe??? but the time which is the title is literally the exact time i got the idea and it took me an hour to write so i’m sorry if it sucks :’) ANYWAYS STREAM BACK TO MEEEEE!!! hope you enjoyed reading!

bookshelf

[lanceskogane]

if you can't handle me at my yiff you don't deserve me at my nya

[ajyal-azez]

يهمني دوماً، أن تكون معي وليّ، وكل ذلك عندي.

[marbletones]

line ART IS HARD BUT i made it this far so i’ll save it to finish coloring later :)

[choaswl]

هي الايام دي مش هتخلص انا عايزة اغمض عيني و افتحها الاقي الفترة دي انتهت متعبة مهما عافرت و حاولت و اقنعت نفسي ان كل حاجة خلاص في حاجة جوايا بتقولي لسه يمكن يحصل حاجة يمكن يجي و يجبلك اخبار حلوة احنا شلنا الهم بدري اوي على سننا و ع ال احنا فيه

[feelingsmadeintheam]

Vacío

Me da muchísimo coraje y a la vez tristeza que hayas sido tú el que decidió que dejáramos de hablar, soy una tonta que volvió a caer al vacío… soy la tonta que creyó que las cosas estaban bien. Gracias por abrirme los ojos, gracias por dejarme en claro que las cosas entre los dos no iban a funcionar: ni para ser amigos y muchísimo menos para algo más.

Estoy convencida de que los seres humanos aprendemos por las malas, somos estúpidos cuando de amor se trata, tú y yo está vez no fuimos la excepción…

[anaventurer]

Okay time to sleep again!! Napaiyak nanaman ako ng slight nung thai movie na pinanood ko pero as usual, bitin nanaman but aahhhhh ang ganda at ang cute nila. My tears will send me to sleep even more.