#5things meme

[cardinalrachelieu]

5 things Eliot has probably said about food

““““probably””””

“dammit, hardison, you can’t pair a RED WINE with SEA BASS.” (hardison pretends to be confused. eliot proceeds to go on an eleven minute rant -- hardison times him -- about wine pairings according to the texture of the fish. when he takes his final breath, hardison sighs and holds up a twenty. parker saunters over and pricks it from his fingers before dashing off and leaving him to explain. “she said you’d go over ten minutes.” it takes eliot approximately .02 seconds to catch up. “DAMMIT, HARDISON.”)

“this is not kobe beef. who the hell sold you this?” (sophie mumbles something about a butcher on 7th street, but before she can finish her sentence he’s stormed off. she’s not entirely sure whether he’s on a mission to educate or destroy, but she can’t really bring herself to care either way. she’ll just have nate pick her up something later. he still in the dog house as far as she’s concerned.)

“i’m thinking about changing up the pub’s menu a bit. i’ve been playing around with this soup i think would be great for the colder months, and there’s this new-- hardison are you even listening?” (hardison is, in fact, not listening. eliot growls and walks away, grumbling about how no one but him is taking this seriously.)

“once upon a time, there was a restaurant that served appetizers BEFORE THE ACTUAL MEAL CAME OUT. where’s the chef, kid?” (the server raises a shaking finger in the direction of the kitchen. sophie tries to grab his arm, but he’s already out of his seat. “i’m just going to have a quick word with him.” nate goes ahead and asks for the check. it’s not the first time eliot has done this. “why does this happen every time we try to have a nice dinner, hmm?” hardison grumps. “i’ll tell you why. it’s because the man is a micro-managing control freak when it comes to--” hardison jumps in his seat when a loud clang comes from the back of the restaurant. “y’know what, wendy’s is fine.” parker’s already out the door when nate lays down a generous tip for their shellshocked server. “sorry about all this. he has a thing about food.”)

“pick one more tomato out of that salad and i’m gonna spear your hand with this fork.” (hardison stops chewing mid-bite and slowly begins to replace all of the tomatoes he removed from the salad eliot prepared him for lunch. he doesn’t like tomatoes. he’s told eliot this at least a hundred times. “they compliment the other flavors,” he growls. hardison firmly believes that tomatoes compliment nothing, but he’s not about to tell eliot that because 1) this salad is actually pretty damn tasty oh my god it is tasty and he doesn’t want eliot to take it away and 2) he’s just a bit scared that eliot will actually spear his hand with that fork he’s gripping so tight it looks like the metal bent in a couple places.)

[cardinalrachelieu]

5 things Clarke has probably said

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT

“STOP HAVING SEX WITHOUT TAKING A BATH FIRST I SWEAR TO GOD IF ONE MORE OF YOU ASSHOLES COMES TO SEE ME ABOUT AN INFECTION I AM ACTUALLY GOING TO CUT YOUR JUNK OFF.” (”clarke, you’re scaring the ten year olds,” raven jokes. “good!” she shouts back.)

“what’s the diplomatic way to say ‘fuck off’?” (”clarke, they can hear you.” “oh good, maybe they can answer.” [bellamy shifts his weight, hangs his head, and lets out a labored sigh.] she always does this. why does she always do this?)

“i haven’t forgiven you for dad, and i’m not sure i ever will. but i’m glad you survived.” (abby nods. it’s better than she’d hoped for, to tell the truth.)

“i never asked for this -- for any of this.” (lexa understands more than most. you never ask for the power to end lives, but that doesn’t mean you’re not the right person to be making the calls. if it doesn’t haunt you, you’re no better than they are...)

“look, i know some... things happened while you were in there. and you don’t have to tell me, but... you should tell someone.” (“i don’t...” he starts, focused mostly on the next place his boots are going to land. she can tell he’s favoring one leg, wonders what injuries are hiding beneath the mud-caked fabric, wonders if there’s an infection spreading, wonders what other marks he’s hiding from her, wonders-- “know if i can do that right now.” she expected as much. she wouldn’t want to talk about it either. “i’m not--” “thanks.” she furrows her brows, waiting for him to continue. “for coming for us... for me. i know what it cost.” his words hang heavy between them, and she suddenly doesn’t think she could bear to know the ways in which they hurt him.)

[cardinalrachelieu]

5 things Liv more probably said right after she realized that she is a zombie

in order:

“fuck.”

“ew, does this mean i have to eat people? gross. but... i’m kinda hungry.”

“i wonder what brains actually taste like.”

“i should audition for casper.”

“I BET I COULD DO A BACKFLIP OFF A BUILDING AND SURVIVE.”

[cardinalrachelieu]

5 things Kara Thrace has probably said.

i just did kara bUT I’LL DO IT AGAIN BECAUSE I LOVE HER THE MOST

“i’ll give you a week’s worth of alcohol rations if you make a shipwide announcement that Hugh Jass is needed in the admiral’s quarters immediately.”

“THAT’S A CROCK OF SHIT AND SO ARE YOU, TIGH.”

“i’m gonna do fifteen barrel rolls in a row -- TIME ME.”

“hold my drink, helo.”

[incoming cylon raider alert blasts over the com] “oh good, i was wanting to get in some target practice today.”

[cardinalrachelieu]

5 things (starbuck)

to papadama: “respectfully, sir, that’s a load of crap and you know it.” (he tries to glare at her menacingly but gives up because, dammit, she’s right. a snake with two tails could come up with a better statement than the one he’s currently feeding the press. he reaches for his half-empty glass of whiskey, sighs in a way that makes kara realize just how much this war has taken from him, and says, “well then, what would you suggest?”)

to lee: “FIGHT ME.” (she does this every time they’re down to the last pour from the bottle. it always ends the same way: “you can have it, kara. there’s another bottle in my locker,” he says, already on his way to grab it. “yeah, that’s right. walk away.” “i’m cutting you off.”)

to helo: “fifteen cubits says i can land my viper on that spinning asteroid.” (shortly followed by “Starbu– KARA, NO!”)

to athena: “you’re alright. y’know, for a toaster.” (athena then punches her in the arm – using her full strength – and smirks when she hears kara stifle a groan. they both erupt in laughter and end up doing at least six shots of the awful moonshine chief makes. literally no one believes it’s actually “““engine cleaning solvent””” but they stopped caring about regulations awhile ago.)

AND BECAUSE I AM INCAPABLE OF RESTRAINING MYSELF, HERE’S A SAD ONE:

to herself: “i guess all i’m good at is fracking things up… [laughs] it’s all i’ve ever been good at.” (sam’s seen her do this before – hit the self-destruct button and spiral out. “we’ll fix it.” it seems like a hollow promise, but he means it. the “we” doesn’t go unnoticed and she leans into his shoulder, feeling a bit less like the ship’s going to come crashing down on her.)