#6.26.16

[brianajungwirthinstagram]

Sunny days in @propwoodofficial thank you for the gorgeous pair! in love!

Briana via her IG | June 26, 2016

[elceeu2morrow]

Louis Tomlinson Of One Direction Steals A Pap's Phone & Gives It Away At Best Buy 6.26.16

[alltheselights]

Louis and Oli in West Hollywood - June 26th, 2016

[malloriaa]

I feel so alone.

[cmjaeger]

Everything’s Ironic When You Die

Luckily for me, there was a bucket aboard the lifeboat. What a silly way to go. As if the ship sinking wasn’t enough, here I am, sinking in a second boat immediately afterwards. How ironic that this lifeboat would be the death of me. Irony wrapped in a coincidence. How lovely. Lovely for the fish perhaps. They’d be getting a good meal of me.

That’s more than I can say of my last meal. To think I was worried that spoiled tuna would give me food poisoning. Wouldn’t have to worry about that upset stomach now that I’d be dead. Besides, what kind of cruise ship doesn’t have fresh fish on board? Old fish on a ship is like fresh fish in the desert. Logistically, it seems improbable, yet here we are. Some days you eat the rotten fish and other days the rotten fish eat you.

I wasn’t really mad that I was dying. Everyone dies. I just wished I wouldn’t die so ironically. I know I’m prone to bad luck, but I don’t think I deserve it like this. Luckily I wouldn’t die the day after I retired or something. At least I was going to eventually drown and not burn to death. That would have been too perfect to even happen. Unfortunately, my current situation wasn’t much less poetic.

I looked at the knife I grabbed when the wreckage floated by. How a knife floated by, I’ll never know, but it did. I thought about slitting my throat with it to escape this ironic death. Then I wouldn’t have drowned ironically, I would have bled out. But even that seemed ironic. Sinking in their lifeboat and they bled to death? Nobody would have seen that coming. Was that still irony?

I said “Screw it!“ and jammed that thing in my neck and I passed out. I bled out and died right there, thinking I escaped my fate. But instead, fate just changed the rules. Not 5 minutes later, a passing ship sailed by and saw my lifeless body. They took me aboard and tried to save me but it was too late. If I had just waited 5 minutes, I would have been saved. I cursed to myself as I existed in the ether. Now everyone would know the kid who offed themselves 5 minutes before they were going to be saved. What a loser.

But then something amazing happened. Tragically but thankfully, the boat that saved me from a sinking lifeboat that previously saved me from a sinking cruise ship, was sinking as well. The small crew of the vessel realized too late that a shark that appeared because of my blood in the water hit the boat and made a gaping hole in the side of it. Though I was dead, I would have appreciated the sheer level of irony, coincidence, bad luck and improbability that was at play here. Truly, everything is ironic when you die.

[myskyfulloflighterz]

I heard my brother rustling around in the bathroom. And suddenly he says "aw! Yous guys!" I was like "..what?" And he said "well SOMEBODY put the q-tips on the toilet, upside down, so when I picked them up they fell." In my head I imagined a whole, brand new, box of 500 q-tips emptying into the floor and in the toilet and I laughed so hard.

[bepizzazzed]

I babble when I'm nervous and I babbled today in front of board members. Ugh. Why me. They're all such put together adults and I'm a sweaty anxious mess

[sslarrysettingsail]

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