#604 words

[justasuicidecase]

SMPtober; Frail

Heat thawed the air from the fire to their side. A warm orange glow tinted everything within its grasp. Travis continued his story, the younger boy listened intently. “And then she came back with a dead rabbit! A whole rabbit, Ty! Then, when I took it from her, she brought two more!” Ty gasped. One log grew weary and gave into, forcing the other leaning on it to fall with it. Embers sprang into the air, lively dancing towards the two before dying out just before hitting either of them. Over the crackling fire, “Shame she got away. We could’ve used a hunting dog.” The boy in front of his nodded at the statement and turned his head to the fire, mind in another place. A moment of still silence passed before he added, “We could look for her, if you want.” Travis tilted hi head, eyes still on the glowing flame, as if considering. He shook his head, “Nah. If she left, she must’ve not wanted to be here.” With that, the two exchanged wills of a good night’s rest and retreaded to their respective bedrooms. But Ty could not sleep. His mind kept picturing the dog that could vanish at a moment's notice. Her ginger fur, neon orange eyes—no matter how vivid his description was in his mind, he knew it wasn’t right. At least, not entirely. He need to see the husky for himself. The small boy snuck out of the cabin, slowly closing the front door behind him. He thought for a moment about where the hound would retreat to during this clear night. No snow fell from above, much to Ty’s surprise. They had been in a blizzard for several days and now… nothing. Ty passed it off as his luck beginning to turn. He decided heading straight would be his best bet to find her. Time passed and his search turned up fruitless; Only bare spruce branches above him, freezing snow beneath him, empty mouths of caves greeted him. The boy searched one more cave before beginning the walk back to the temporary home. It was dark, only the full moon high in the sky provided little light for him. Placing his hands on the stinging-cold stone walls, Ty wondered into the shallow cavern. Nothing much, it was an ordinary cave, just like the many he checked before. Before Ty began to back out of the cave and head back to the shelter, his hand brushed against unnatural grooves carved into the walls. Thanking his eyes for adjusting to the dark, he scanned the carvings. They looked foreign to the boy, almost like hieroglyphics. His mind finally came to the most obvious conclusion—someone has either lived here or the unknown person still does. Thundering footsteps sounded at the opening, Ty’s chest tightened. He whipped his head around. There was nowhere to hide. His mind screamed at him. Every nerve in his body began to feel fried as his breathing quickened. The steps were closer. Ty willed his shaky legs to move, but they refused. It seemed like neither fight nor flight kicked in, but the hidden third of ‘freeze’ did its job. Pain flared from the back of his head, he crumpled to the ground. Touching the back of his head, blood coated his fingertips. Not a moment after, another blow to his temple. Again and again, never ending. Screams fought their way out of his closed throat, tearing through the midnight air. Eventually, Ty gave into the overwhelming pain of being beaten by whoever this person was.

[thewritehag]

Part of my latest block was definitely due in part to the depressive slump and my trying to push an idea that just doesn’t work right now, but also because I know that Lore’s POV is the last one for me to flesh out and I can begin revising and rewriting Witching.

[thewritehag]

Holy random back pain, Batman. Can you call Selina and have her walk up and down my spine in those heels of hers? 

[chloeh-globalinsights]

Day 5

6th of June

I had such a great day today! I feel like I’m finally getting a better idea of what I want to do after I leave university. Which is what I hoped to get out of this trip so I am very happy right now. We had two meetings today; first with John Mathers who works with the British Design Fund and then Safoora Biglari who works with a charity called One Young World. We met with John Mathers at the V&A Museum. This was very good as we got the chance to see one of their new exhibitions as well as (in our break between meetings) fo and see the other nearby museums. I enjoyed having the time to do this as it meant we got to see more of London’s well-known sights. When explaining his pathway to us John explained how his degree in law gave him good transferable skills but also made him realise he didn’t want to be a lawyer. The fact that he didn’t go straight into the job he is now was very reassuring. I find it really helpful to have it reinforced to us that we don’t need to know what we want to do right away. In this day and age someone will have multiple jobs and move sectors too. Whilst we were looking around “The Future Starts Here” Exhibition John came and chatted with each of us to give us specific advice. I thought this was very kind of him and useful as I was able to talk about his studying and MBA which I have considered. Later on, we met Safoora at One Young World. She also had a bit of a false start as she struggled to find a sponsor to allow her to live in the UK, she is originally from DC. She told us all about the work that she and the charity did and explained the different ways we could get involved. Leadership isn’t really something that I had thought about doing before, but the company sounds very interesting so meeting her has given me something else to think about. Unlike some other people we have talked to Safoora loves living in London. Her enthusiasm for the city really helped me to see the appeal and has only given me more confidence that I may want to work here for a couple of years in the future.

Positives V&A Starting to get a clearer idea on what I want to do

Challenges Making sure we didn’t get side-tracked by our activities during the break in order to make it on time for our next meeting (we did, but there was so much to see at the museums that it was a shame to leave).

Did I do anything for my goals? Networking – Both of the alumni we met today were so lovely (everyone has been really) and I plan to keep in touch with both of them as they were both so kind in offering their assistance for the future. Confidence – I’m definitely getting more confident and can see it in the way I’m starting to think about my future. Independence – I’m considering living here now after graduation in order to get work experience. The very fact that I’m thinking about living in a different country from my parents (even if they would be in Scotland) highlights to me that I am becoming more independent.

What would I do differently? My allergies were quite bad today, despite medication, which made me feel a little drowsy. I think if I were to do the day again I’d try to ask more questions.

[gigawords]

Day 4

Sunlight had never felt more warm. Hector joined Altung and Lymsleia as they exited the cave and the warm rays of the midday sun piercing the trees seemed to wrap around him. He took a deep breath of the fresh air, but instead of giving him the refreshing feeling he expected, his emotions remained in turmoil.

Altung must have seen the pain in his eyes. “I’m sorry about your village, Kid. If we had been a bit sooner…”

Hector shook his head, pointedly looking away from the stake outside the cave with the dwarven head stuck upon it. “Somehow I… Well, I figured it would be too late. I took too long to track ‘em down, though it all kind of felt like a blur after I found the village...”

“So what are you going to do now?” Lymsleia asked in a voice that Hector considered far too chipper. “Will you return to your village and rebuild? Or perhaps move to another village?”

“I doubt the boy would want to return to a place where memories of his friends and family are still fresh on his mind,” Altung said.

Suddenly, a bark sounded from a creature nearby. Altung and Lymsleia reached for their weapons as the sound of a creature rushing through the underbrush approached.

“Sir Sheepsbane?!” Hector cried hopefully. As if in response, the faithful sheep hound burst forward towards him, tail wagging furiously. Hector hugged him as if he was his last friend in the world. No, he was his last friend in the world.

Altung chuckled, “Ah, the famous knight Sir Sheepsbane has survived the vampire menace. All is not lost it seems.” Strangely enough, Lymsleia had very quickly moved behind him, and apprehension filled her eyes.

After spending a long moment with Sir Sheepsbane, the duo hunters had led Hector back to their camp a short while away. They had given him some food while they broke down their camp and packed their belongings.

Sheepsbane by his side, he finally gave himself time enough between bites to speak. “I… Do you two think I can stay with y’all?”

Lymsleia finished tying her bedroll up before responding. “I know you’re in a bad spot, Hector, and I understand the pain you’re going through. But we are… I mean, sweetie, we don’t exactly live a lifestyle befitting that of a young farmer boy.”

“I can help!” He said, “I mean, I’ll do any of the cleanin’ and any chores ya need and earn my keep! I just… I don’t wanna be alone. And I have to have something to do. Something that’ll make me think of… well, anything else.”

She looked to Altung, who shrugged in response. “I… suppose we could use someone to help Oda out around the shop.” She smiled and ruffled Hector’s hair, “Welcome to this ragtag group then. We’ll have to see if Oda’s okay with it first before we make it official, since she’s a little like our leader.”

Hector felt a weight lift up from him. His feelings still felt a bit smothered; whether that was from Altung’s potion or just him still in shock from everything that had happened he couldn’t tell. But for now, he had a way forward. He never again wanted to feel as lost as he felt on that first day where he had discovered his entire village missing.

No, he would leave this life behind. He would bury those memories while he still had momentum; before he could slow down and really think about what had happened.

Despite this, that night the potion’s effects had worn off, and Hector cried.

Day 1 2 3 / Next

[wille-green-blog]

Ideological History

On the anthropocentric to ecocentric spectrum, I would place myself somewhere between preservationism and ecological sensibility, but definitely closer to the latter. My family never really make a big deal of “green” practices, but my upbringing was still more environmentally friendly than some. We always reuse plastics like water bottles and grocery bags, and make sure to recycle, but there was other care for the natural world as well.

I was homeschooled until 7th grade and I spent a lot of my time at home outside. My mom is a childcare provider, and my house is the daycare center! I was always around other children, and of course they liked to play outside as well, so we had plenty of time to get dirty running around the backyard. My mom had two rose bushes growing and we always tried to keep the rest of the gardens looking nice as well. My mom was into flowers and I was into homegrown food, so we each had garden areas. We stayed busy keeping the grass away from the other plants, watering when needed, pruning, etc. We had a good mix of plants like mint, tomatoes, hot peppers, marigolds, lantana, and more! Our gardens relate to ecological sensibility because we are knowledgeable and respectful of the greenery, but still use it in a restrained manner, usually for food or just a pretty sight.

Being form Phoenix, time outside is limited depending on the temperature. Summer days were spent zooming across the slip-n-slide and watering what plants survived the heat. Spring and fall (not that Phoenix really gets all four seasons) are more bearable and if I wasn’t gardening, I was likely to be found in the sandbox. Our sandbox was really just a desolate patch at the end of our backyard. My mom had been trying to get grass to grow but between the lack of nutrition in the dirt and all the digging my my brother Nick and I did, there was no way anything would live so the excavation went on! Some of the holes we dug were big enough to fit in comfortably, which concerned my mom because she didn’t want one of the younger babysitting kids to walk over and fall in.

I was always barefoot, ALWAYS. The summer before starting 7th grade at a real school I literally had to practice wearing shoes. Before that I was always in the house or in the backyard so the only times I would wear shoes for more than an hour was at church or if i wanted to go grocery shopping with my parents. I would take my shoes off in the car and as soon as I got to my friends house so it was really life-altering to have to wear them for 7 hours at school, sometimes I even took them off in class. I had never been on any major outdoors trips, or even gone camping, until this past summer, but I still feel that I have a connection to the outdoors. Thanks to me and my mom, the house back in Phoenix now has several potted plants, always dried flowers, and if there is a special occasion, sometimes fresh flowers as well.

These experiences in my backyard have led me adopt the theory of value, and apply telos, where all things have value and self direction, but in my backyard I feel that it is more acceptable to interrupt the being’s autonomy. It makes more sense for things to run their own course of action in the open wilderness since ecosystems are more diverse, integrated and complex.

[briheather]

Day 3: Loving Death

Not sure what to call this but its a bit more romantic than what I thought I’d end up writing.... 

Nicole raced down the path from her house, tears streaming down her face. Her father was done waiting for her to finishing grieving and has signed a marriage contract between her and the Duke of Walton. She could not believe her ears when he had told her.

~~~~

“James hasn’t even been gone for a year and you except me to marry?” She asked. Her father glowered at her.

“James will have been dead a full year in a week Nicole! The normal grieving period for a young woman in your position is 6 months. You know that! We need the connections this marriage will bring the family. It’s a better match than your first one anyways.”

Nicole reared back like she had been slapped. “So this arrangement of money and status that affects the rest of my life, is a better one than my previous match to the man I loved and has only been buried in the ground for almost a year?”

“How can you think so little of your only child’s future happiness father? Do you care at all that you have sold me like cattle?” She picked up the bustle of her skirts and turned away after throwing those barbs her father’s way.

Furious, he reached and grabbed her arm shaking her, “You will do as you are told you insolent child. James would have been a good match but he does not have the prestige the Duke does. Even if James was still alive you would still be marrying the Duke instead! The wedding will take place in a month even if I need to lock you in your room for the next month.”

Nicole looked at her father horrified by his words and felt like he had ripped the veil from her eyes. He obviously did not love her like she thought he had. Nicole knew her Father was cold towards her, but she always assumed it was because she was not the male heir he had wanted. Not that he had no feeling for her entirely. She opened her mouth to respond only to stop as her mother entered the drawing room and hurried over to her.

“Hush darling” her mother spoke as she drew Nicole out of her father’s grasps and into her own. “Let’s go your room and settle down. Once you are over your shock I am sure you will see how this offer is a wonderful thing. You are still grieving and that is normal, but even though grieving you must still live.”

Nicole simply stared at her mother as she let herself be guided into the hallway. As they passed the front door, she stopped suddenly and began dragging her heels. She wrenched her arm from her mother’s grasp and took one look around the room before bolting out the door and down the pathway, tears streaming down her face.

When she reached the bottom of the path, she faltered unsure whether to go left or right. Her mind was racing and she didn’t know where she was heading, only that she need to leave and now. She seemed to instinctively turn to the left and follow the street into the town until she reached the church and its cemetery. She found herself in front of James’s stone, sinking to her knees in front of it. Her hand reached out and gently traced the letters of his name.

“Oh, what am I supposed to do without you?” She whispered to herself before once again breaking down into tears. She rested her head against the stone and cried herself into an exhausted sleep.