#7.6.2018

[ghostiestghost]

what is UP i love geoff

[zapisnik-snu]

Proč jsme nešťastní z toho, že nikdo nevidí naši bolest, když se ji my sami snažíme schovat?

[godsnameisjoy]

7 June 2018

30 minutes at bedtime

The moment I sat for meditation last night, I realised the mistake of not having increased the duration setting by another 5 minutes. I did increase the duration on the app, but only after my meditation was over.

Once it was the door bell and the second time the buzzer in the timer - both these events were marked by a jump. The concentration was such that loud disturbances were making me jump. And I have found that it is easy to concentrate this way when I surrender all of my attention to the God-thought.

Till a few weeks back, I found myself reluctant to concentrate wholeheartedly. Some part of me didn’t want to abandon all passing thoughts in exchange for The One.

The fear originates from the uncertain aspect of God. So, to let go of everything for something so uncertain can be scary. Also, to let go of all thoughts seems unnatural. Specially when I am consciously surrendering to one thought. Although that is what we are doing all the time. At any given waking or dreaming moment, we entertain only one thought before our attention. Our attention isn’t panoramic, naturally.

In sessions to come, I may have to warm up to the idea that to surrender to the God-thought and be cocooned by it, isn’t unnatural but divine. Let’s see, how that goes. I can’t step back from this pathway. To have images scampering around for attention can be so frustrating to meditation. One can end up feeling exhausted with the varied workings of the mind rather than feeling refreshed by letting it all go in exchange of the promise of our Divine Lover.