alright fellas
i actually want to make a seperate post about this because i feel like it needs to be said; the surface level understanding of saeyoung just being the "pain behind smile" archetype needs to go. not because its wrong, he DOES hide his pain behind cheerfulness, but its not necessarily the root of his character or the most important element, or even a central part at all. im going to list a few statements that go deeper within his character, closer to his core
to begin, seven's neurodivergence and queerness is one of the integral parts of his character
the whole thing about him masking his true self to seem "less complicated" and more "palatable" to others, due to processing emotions differently than others ? him being seen as "weird" and being called an "alien", one of the reasons being the fact that he engages in an activity associated with queerness aka crossdressing? seven is not necessarily insecure about being "different" but his guilt complex doesnt mesh well with his hyper self-awareness about the way he *feels* emotions. one of the reasons for his intolerance for his own self IS the fact that he thinks he is "complicated" and not just because of his job.
this brings me to the center of his emotional issues and character psychology in general, which is self-hate and the borderline inability to tolerate oneself. this, in turn, is caused by his guilt complex
guilt is what makes him so strict with himself. this strictness makes him insecure, self conscious. it leads to his intolerance of his own self and a warped perception of self. only after all of these comes the masking and the reason behind it is: 1) him being insecure about a trait of his (referring to the way he reacts to his own feelings and how he processes emotions; him seeing himself as someone "complicated") that is, not always, but still connected to neurodivergence ; 2) the difficulty of coping with stress, at least in a healthy manner, leading to his desire to constantly be that cheery 707 to forget about his problems and just . . . have fun. because maybe, its too much to bare for him
writing this at 3 am so maybe this is just me being ill about him and projecting? </33 i dunno, just wanted to get it off my chest GOOD NIGHT‼️ also if there are any diagnosed neurodivergent folks reading this, feel free to correct me because despite heavily relating to the experience and planning to get checked, i havent been actually diagnosed so YEAH
lmk yalls thoughts if u have any cuz im curious







