we should know the kind of people we want to keep around us, who we think is worth the effort and energy. tomorrow is not a guarantee, so why waste our time on people who serve no positive role in our lives? why use the energy to keep up with people who don’t make us feel safe, supported, and loved?
i’ve dropped friends in the past because they, sometimes of no fault of their own, exhausted me every time we were together. i got emotionally tired, and the people who did consciously love and support me didn’t get what they deserved from me. i decided after graduation that i would distance myself from anyone who made me feel that way again. if i don’t trust you, what the hell am i doing trying so hard to maintain our relationship?
i lost sight of myself somewhere along the way, and though i’ve gone looking, i have to ask now if i’m potentially not meant to find her. maybe i need to become someone better, someone who knows what comes next.
there’s limited space in my heart; when i love, i do it fiercely and desperately. i can’t keep up with treating outliers with the same passion as i do with my closest friends and family members. i’m not going to tear myself apart for that, not anymore.
