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الحب وحده هو الدواء الحقيقي لكل شيء.

Its funny how fast i reply and yet he takes hours to respond.. I hate his ass!

I don't really have anyone to talk about this to nor do i really want to talk to anyone about it, let alone think writing it out rn will help, but here i go anyways. So to recap in my life, i had my first guard competition this past saturday, second semester has started, and ive been shitty at eating, body image, and taking my birth control on time. But this posts original meaning is to talk about guys (as usual sadly). So there's a super cute guy named Drew or Andrew next to me in Marine Ecology and i really dig him but i don't feel like starting new with someone because apparently what i have to say is hard to hear and my life is baggage. I like his long hair and his smile and the fact that he likes jazz a lot, also he's super funny and taller than me. Nothing will happen between us though. There's also Mason Butler who keeps flirting with me and other girls but he's being forced into dating georgia and asking her to prom i believe. Not that i want him lmao, just find the situation bothersome. I also recently started hanging out with Ben Brisard again. Ik, ik a bad idea. A bad action on my part. The worst part is that even though he angers me, since he's acting like a friend again I think im starting to like him again, but i can never date him again knowing how he gets and knowing that i cant hold feelings well. Honestly wanted to kiss him today, but he was just loopy on his pills so he won't even know if my eyes hinted at it. He keeps talking of prom and asking out Julie and such and it doesn't hurt surprisingly or get me jealous, it's just like a slightly irritating thing, like hearing your jeans make a swish noise when you walk, like it's just kinda meh but it's not a big deal or irritating at all, it's just not ideal. Who knows where my feelings will go next, all i know is that im happy but i'm also not really happy at all in life rn. The best thing i have going for me is how much Brautman likes me and my smile and i really like her tbh. She's a sweet woman. Her laugh wakes me up a bit in the mornings in the best way. Anyways, i guess that's where i'll end for now. Peace out girl scout