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Lily Maymac 🌸🍒💋🌸 Mother's Day hot pot 🤤

Hey why tf am I 92.2 pounds rn

: /

My new symptom. Appeared today. Has been nearly constant, getting more pronounced when resting.

#i see my GP again tomorrow #my mom is sleeping in my room tonight in case i have an emergency #pers #9 13

Hi can I get asks about my OCs? Idk if I'll actually respond right now, I guess I'm just kind of desperate

Such a weird sensation, feels like my skeleton in my upper body is pulsating or even being jostled and it makes me dizzy.

Then there's the really strong weird palpitations also making me dizzy. And the feeling that a mouse is scurrying in an empty cavity in the back of my head which also, you guessed it, makes me dizzy.

And it gets hard to breathe.

#i wish i could make it all stop. just make it all stop.#pers #9 13

Tbh I actually do feel worse and I'm once again on the verge of panic attacks about the physical feelings I am dealing with.

I feel my best upon waking up from sleep but it's extremely difficult to fall asleep and the symptoms are the worst when I'm trying to.

My palpitations feel very very different now and unlike before, they don't come and go. They're constant. Sometimes they spike and I can feel it in my whole body. At first I didn’t have much issue trusting the doctor through it, but as time goes on, I am less confident that I am still okay.

After all, I don't feel the way I did when they did those tests. And I also feel worse. And he told me to come back if that happens. If I feel different or worse. But I really really don't fucking want to especially knowing how likely it is they'll find nothing again and I'll pay yet another bill for "Yeah you just have to wait" and for so many other reasons.

#pers #9 13 #the other biggie is the fear of being mistreated especially since i was already there.#i literally don't care if he told me to come back and i saw him again; you should never trust a doctor and i absolutely believe #he would be pissed that i am back and i would not be treated well.#there are ppl literally dying in the ER and I can't tell if if i am actually one of them.#consider that ppl weren't taking me that seriously the first time either. i don't believe him i know i would be treated worse.#i am already so emotionally messed up from this and i already hate medical facilities. i couldn't handle it.#it's nothing it's nothing. it will go away!!! fuck i just have to bear it

AUGHHHH. AOIUGHJSHSJSK.

That's the prozac situation all over again!!!

Omfgggg maybe I am just cursed and need to be unmedicated and accept that okay

#pers #9 13

Carbamazepine increases the metabolism rate of painkillers. That means they won't work very well.

I'm not mad at them for prescribing it to me though, they had to choose a mood stabilizer that was both affordable and could be crushed (pill phobia) so that was literally the only option.

#pers #9 13

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#9 13