#9dimensionalpenis

[thetricksterstempest]

☞ and Kankri? Idk I used a randomizer lol

…9kay.

I supp9se I sh9uld preface this with a general warning f9r any and all disillusi9ned with c9ntent relating t9 tr9llish s9ciety as a wh9le. M9re specifically, within this p9st I shall 6e referring t9 such p9tentially triggering c9ntent as 6i9l9gical and anat9mical differences 6etween certain castes, a 6rief 9verview 9f the hist9rical, s9ci9l9gical, and cultural tr9u6les that plague th9se 9n the warmer end 9f the 6l99d spectrum, as well as a f9ray int9 a larger 69dy 9f w9rk regarding the tyranny 9f the hem9spectrum as a wh9le, and 9f the inherent 9pressi9n therein. If these 9r any 9ther t9pics I may 6egin t9 6reach in my lecture in any way trigger an em9ti9nal 9r 9therwise traumatic resp9nse, then 6y all means alert me, and I shall attempt t9 rephrase in such a way that w9uld all9w us t9 c9ntinue 9ur discussi9n. I sh9uld als9 menti9n, if at any time y9u feel the need t9 step away, 6e it t9 acquire the services 9f a palemate (which I find impr96a6le at 6est - y9u d9 n9t have a m9irail, d9 y9u?) 9r t9 answer a calling that w9uld leave y9u 9therwise incapa6le 9f further engagement in 9ur discussi9n, then I w9uld endeav9r y9u t9 feel free t9 take such acti9n. I 9nly ask that y9u 6e aware 9f any c9ntent y9u may have perhaps missed 9r 6een kept in the dark a69ut, s9 that at the time 9f 9ur next meeting I c9uld pr9vide a sh9rt summary t9 enlighten y9u as t9 where we currently stand.

N9w. With that 9ut 9f the way, I w9uld like t9 6egin with a sh9rt 9verview 9f the hist9ry 9f the hem9spectrum. C9ntrary t9 p9pular 6elief - and indeed, t9 the pr9paganda sp99nfed t9 us since 6irth - the hem9spectrum is - wait, where are y9u g9ing? We haven’t even 6egun!

[thetricksterstempest]

✖ If you don't know what ship this is for you're rlly dumb n i hate you (also please do something rlly lame that i like maybe)

Erikar it is, nerd.

Send me a ‘✖’ and a ship name and I’ll tell you:

Who was the one to propose:

Eridan, probably.

Who stressed more over wedding planning:

Karkat. (I’m just imagining him being a total bridezilla and getting worked the fuck up over every little thing)

Who decorated the house:

Given that Eridan’s hive was literally a shipwreck, I’m going to give this one to Karkat. 

Who does the cooking:

They’re both godawful at cooking, let’s be real here, but Karkat is marginally better at it than Eridan, who once set the stove on fire trying to cook a fish because someone refuses to eat them raw.

Who does the cleaning:

Karkat, because he likes things having at least a pretense of order to them, and because Eridan straight up won’t until he’s wallowing in garbage.

Who is more organized:

Again, Karkat. Eridan gives the term ‘scatter-brained’ new definition, and without Karkat he’d probably have gotten lost in their own hive.

Who initiates bedroom fun:

Uh. Eridan?

Who suggested kids first:

Neither of them really strike me as the kind to have having kids high on the priority list? Of the two, I’d say Karkat, maybe?

[thetricksterstempest]

Motherfucker you know exactly which ship I want.

Erikar, ladies and gents!

Who would win tickle wars:

There are no winners. (Eridan is more ticklish. When tickled, Karkat goes into full on seizure mode and will do anything and everything in his power to knock that shit OUT. Even if that means literally knocking them out.) 

Who would draw pictures of the other in their sketchbook:

Karkat has trouble drawing straight lines without a ruler. Eridan takes this one (he’s actually a surprisingly good artist).

Who would holds hands while walking:

They rarely hold hands while standing, because Karkat is a smol fuck and Eridan is fuckhuge tall and has to walk like a Neanderthal just to keep their hands level.

Who would gives cheek kisses:

Karkat would IF HE COULD REACH.

Who would start a snowball fight:

Eridan. And he would get way too into it. He’d probably start forming a legitimate snow militia with actual military battle tactics and guerrilla warfare and whatnot if he was allowed to go that far.

Who would slip the most on a date to go ice skating:

Ha. If you look up the antonym of the word ‘graceful’, you will find an animated gif of Karkat Vantas falling on his face for the umpteenth time, swearing and scrambling to his feet, and prompty falling right back down again. Forever.

Who leaves letter in the others locker:

Karkat, mostly reminders like ‘I swear to whatever powers that be if you fucking stay up all night working AGAIN I am going to personally come down there and wreck your shit.’

Who would bring lunch to school/work for the other:

Karkat, because when Eridan gets focused on something he forgets pretty much anything else exists. See ‘remember their anniversary’.

Who would want cuddle at the movie theater date:

Yes? Actually, it depends on the genre. You know Karkat would get entirely too invested in a good romcom to pay any attention to Eridan.

Who would buy cheezy cliche gifts for each other on holidays:

Eridan. He’s a rich, romantic bastard with no sense of subtlety.

Who would start an argument about what color curtains they should have at home

Eridan is the more ‘fashion-oriented’ of the two. Karkat just wants curtains that will block the fucking windows because he doesn’t want some peeping tom shitstain watching them.

Who would remember their anniversary:

Karkat, because Eridan gets so single-minded and obsessed with whatever his current focus is that he pretty much loses sight of all else. It’s Karkat’s job to keep the fuck from accidentally starving himself to death.

Who would blurt out how much they love the other in front of people:

They both do this, and then they both realize the thing they just said out loud in public and they die inside and turn ungodly shades of red/purple.

Who would offer to wash the others back in the shower:

Karkat would IF HE COULD REACH.

(Eridan. Both. I don’t know.)

Who would post up statuses about the other on facebook:

Karkat does this mainly to complain about whatever vapid fucknonsense he’s having to deal with currently. Eridan does this to be That Guy on your feed who spouts lovey-dovey crap about his SO 24/7.

Who would have the others picture as their phone background:

Eridan, see below.

Who would take pictures of the other while they’re sleeping:

Eridan because it’s like the only time Karkat ever smiles of his own volition and it’s adorable.

Who says I love you:

Eridan says it first, whenever Karkat drops that bombshell it’s probably accompanied by enough expletives to make a sailor blush.

[thetricksterstempest]

Squiggle leaf thing

Send a ❦ and my character will describe what they think it would be like to kiss yours.

[ theprotectedseaviolet ]

oh! well. uh.

i mean? not a terrible experience, probably! i really don’t know what it would be like, per se, but i guess i doubt i would not like it? if that makes any sense?

bluh! i dunno! this is a lot more difficult than i thought it would be!

[death-limes]

You're actually right. Man door hand hook car door is the last five words to a really shitty creepypasta (that I'm pretty sure was written poorly intentionally).

I LOVE YOU SWEATY

[thetricksterstempest]

and probably also 12. *eyebrow waggle*

12) Favorite thing about yourself?

My rapier wit and dashingly rugged good looks, obviously.

Nah, probably my writing. 

[thetricksterstempest]

and 10.

10) Last TV show you watched?

I, personally? The Walking Dead on Sunday. I don't watch much TV, I just listen to it in the background while my parents watch.

[thetricksterstempest]

also 4

4) How long have you been roleplaying?

Gee, I'm really not that sure. About a year? I have Skypelogs of old RPs of ours going back to August of last year, which was the first time I hit you up on Skype so actually a bit longer than that. I'm gonna go with a year and a few months' change.