okay, but what if he can never ride again because after this incident he is paralyzed? he probably thinks he's not worthy of you and doesn't want you to be with him anymore
It’s the toughest thing he’s ever had to do, learning to move again, inch by inch. There were too many hospital visits to count by now, but all were the same. Obi-Wan, your Obi, was paralyzed. They told him it was from the waist down, that he won’t be able to ride ever again. They had told him that he couldn’t live his dream anymore, and they didn’t even seem to care.
Other people did. Many of the faces you saw at the rodeo, or his shows, would pass by you in the street and speak a sympathetic word. Some of them wrote articles, others songs, and some still spoke about him on the radio and television, calling him a hero. No one knew that more than you, and he would always be a hero, no matter his condition.
But he thought otherwise. The more days that passed, the more difficult it became for him to accept that this was his life now. He would never get on the back of a horse, he would never hold on tight to a bull, he would never walk, or run, or swim. He hated it, but he hated more how you were dragged into this. “It’s not fair on you,” he’d say, but you’d assure him every time that he is and will always be the man you love.
Obi wasn’t always patient, but he’d get angry more. Easier. Almost like the fuse was always one second away from blowing. You knew he didn’t mean the things he said when he was angry, but it was hard not to get upset by them.
“You shouldn’t even be here!” he shouts at you, after he dropped his fork and couldn’t bend down to pick it up, shoving you away with words before you could help him. “You shouldn’t be with me. Go! You should go! You deserve better, you deserve more. Just go!”
You stood there a crying mess, trying to tell him straight, but he wouldn’t budge. So you snap. “It’s not easy, of course it’s not! But, damn it, I’m sticking with you because I love you! There ain’t any other man for me. So why do you keep pushing me away?”
“You want kids!” the shout comes out as a sob, wet and sad. “I—I can’t give you that life no more. I can’t.”
“Yes, you can. Of course you can, Obi.”
“I won’t be able to pick my little ones up. I can’t bounce them on my knee. I can’t let them climb on my back and teach them how to ride. Why should you have to stay with a man who can’t be a father? I can’t even be a husband.”
It wasn’t just his condition, it was his new life. He always wanted to be a dad, it was about the only thing he spoke about after you both married. He had picked out the room, mapped out the layout, even started picking names with you in the tub. He couldn’t even do that anymore. But it was so much more than just adapting, you now realize. The hardest part wasn’t that, it was accepting.
“Obi,” you coo, walking over to him and brushing the frustrated strands of hair back from his face. “You still to this day remain to be born a father. I won’t push you, but I’m not leaving you. I love you too much.”
It was difficult, but it wasn’t impossible. Obi nods at you, tears in his eyes, telling you he loves you too. He didn’t want you to leave, he just wanted you to have a better life. But your life is with him, and he will never understand how you manage to keep loving him after what’s happened. Though it comes with a shove, Obi makes the first move in accepting—he loves you and you love him, and nothing was ever going to change that.