#@kali

[theillmindofvale]

[spencerwhittemore]

Dear Kali, (le private letter thingy idek)

I heard the whole argument at the campfire, and while I can say I sympathize with you, a lot of what you said really triggered something. I didn't want to say anything there because I know what it feels like to have people tearing you down in front of everyone and I didn't want to add to that feeling more, especially since it wasn't really my intent. I know what Carter said was a bit unfair, but she has been through a lot of shit, and I know that your life seems really overwhelming too, but having come from a similar situation as yours, I can tell you it's not as bad as hers. 

And please don't tell me that I don't know what you went through, because trust me I do, and it was equal if not worse than your experience. My father used to beat me and later died when I was seven and everyone in my family blames me for his suicide. I blame myself. My mother hated me since that day and neglected me. I was a straight A student and always did the right thing and it was never enough for her. She ignored me. I used to go to parties to try and fit in and I would end up getting drunk and taken advantage of. And I could never remember any of it. People made fun of me and called me a whore and a slut, and even some of my closet friends talked shit about me behind my back. I've been struggling with depression since I was eight and up until I was 17 my arms and legs were usually in ribbons. I've tried to kill myself multiple times, even while I was here. And I still think I'd be better off dead. 

My mum remarried over the summer and didn't even tell me, and when I confronted her about it she yelled at me and told me to leave her the fuck alone. My best friend died recently and when I went back for the funeral, I moved out of my own house and am technically living with my late best friend's family. I still struggle with cutting and depression and suicide. I know the fear of thinking you're pregnant, and I also know what a broken heart feels like and what it's like to be cheated on. 

My point is we've all gone through a lot of shit at this place, some more than others. But a lot of what people like us went through were caused by ourselves and in sight of what a lot of other people at this camp went through is petty. You shouldn't try and make it a competition. Especially against a thirteen year old whose gone through so much pain and lost so much at so young. 

Please think before you yell out the details of your 'miserable' life at a campfire next time. A lot of people don't want to hear it, and a lot of people can beat you in an argument about whose life sucks more (not to mention it can trigger a lot of people. You of all people should know what that feels like if you went through what you say you did). Just saying.

Sincerely,

Spencer