throwback to the first chapter of my Corriedale fic because it looks like we're being FED next week (on both counts 🙏🙏🙏)
the Robert Sugden Todd knew was a homophobic, money-hungry egoist with a short fuse and an even shorter list of friends. a ma who would do anything to get where he wanted to be, a chancer, and a messy one at that. the Robert stood before him was a completely different person, and Todd wasn't quite sure how to feel about that. he was older, warmer, tailing paramedics as they rushed a man into an ambulance. if Todd could break away from Theo for a minute, just one minute, he would say hello. or would he? he didn't know this man, not anymore. he could already tell, and they hadn't said a word.
Hotten General looked like all the other hospitals Todd had seen, white and clinical. helping out Paul and Billy, he'd seen more and more of them in recent years. now it felt wrong. different somehow. like even here, a place where you're supposed to be safe, he couldn't be safe. he could never really be safe.
he thought about what Billy had said:
"what has he done?"
"if you think you're as bad as Theo you're being gaslit..."
"you pushed him in self defence"
"...toxic...get away from him..."
"thats not love"
"you do not deserve this"
you do not deserve this.
those words circled through his mind as he became acutely aware of the pressure on his wrist. his boyfriend gripped him tightly, practically cutting off circulation. you do not deserve this. Summer ran over and they hugged and Todd couldn't help but think that if he hadn't tried to leave early, if he hadn't pushed Billy to help him get away, then maybe none of this would have happened. maybe the vicar would be stood there now, right next to him, giving comforting words as they dealt with the metaphorical fire burning all around them. if he wasn't so weak, so pathetic...
"Todd?"
his voice was deeper than the last time they had met. that was over a decade ago, of course it was. Robert had been in his twenties then, bright-eyed with a pretty girlfriend and a pretty job and the life of his dreams lined up for the taking. now he looked weary, weathered by a storm Todd couldn't begin to imagine.
wasn't Emmerdale where that helicopter crashed?
the blond pulled him into a warm, 'I can't believe you're here after all this time' embrace and Todd couldn't help but think how open this Robert Sugden was compared to the one he knew all those years ago.
"should I be worried?"
Theo's voice was venomous, and Todd tensed without meaning to. now he just had to hope that Robert hadn't noticed.
"he isn't gay."
"I'm bisexual." that was in response to Todd. "and engaged." and that to Theo.
"bisexual?"
it was so odd to hear him declare it so openly, like they were in a parallel universe.
"yeah, a lot's gone on."
laughing or not, that was an 'ask me later' dismissal if ever he'd heard one. Theo was watching Sugden like a hawk, his eyes dark and aggressive. Robert noticed, and it seemed as though he wanted to square up but decided better of it and offered Todd's fiancé a hand instead.
"Robert Sugden."
"Sugden?"
they had all heard Kit talking, calling for backup, a possible sighting of John Sugden.
"news spreads fast."
"it does in a pile up."
Theo was finding a way to twist this, Todd just knew it. he could feel it in his bones.
"Robert?"
a young woman spoke to him from down the hallway, her dark hair pulled back and her expression deep and troubled. he smiled at her softly.
"saved by the bell. come over mate, if you ever want to catch up."
on the car ride home, Todd swore he never would. two months later, that's exactly what he did.
