ah thank you so much @nerdyfangirl76 @jcforsapphics @illbeyourreasonwhy @robertbugden and @livflahertydingle for the tags! i don't have any new sections from my recent wips that i'm happy with soooooo here's another little section of do you have to let it linger?, which is coming soon i promiseeeeee
Aaron could barely breathe. he’d known exactly what he was getting himself into when Victoria called, had wanted it even. back when all this started, when theyd first broken up, when he was first seeing Alex, Robert had been around and about. Aaron had felt a little like microdosing him, never really saying much but always knowing that he was there. but then things had changed and Robert had changed and he had new friends and he suddenly wasn’t around anymore, not really. he rarely made it to the pub, and when he did he avoided Aaron’s eyes. he was never at work anymore, barely ever on the street. it was like he didn’t exist.
seeing Robert tonight, though, he seemed… well-adjusted, which was not a word Aaron had ever thought he’d use to describe Robert Jacob Sugden. he was content, if a little awkward. and his baby was really cute.
Aaron had been surprised with himself, proud of himself, the way he had held Seb, held him close, seen nothing but Robert in his little eyes, his little smile. he didn’t feel the ache, the grief, the anger, and well… he didn’t feel that around Robert anymore either. part of him wanted to, wanted to hate Robert so he could pretend he didn’t love him, but he never really was a great liar.
Alex was sat on the sofa when Aaron made it home, a lot later than he’d promised to be. he didn’t seem to get angry much did Alex, but there was a hard set to his expression in that moment and part of Aaron was itching for a fight. “didn’t think you’d still be here.”
“so you are avoiding me then?”
“what makes you say that? brew?” he didn’t wait for a response, flicking on the kettle and throwing a singular teabag into a singular mug. Alex didn’t drink caffeine after 4pm.
“Aaron, you’ve been God knows where for hours! you’re hardly even present when i’m talking to you. like right now.” Aaron would love to say he was wrong… but he hadnt actually heard what Alex had said. he was too focussed on Robert, on his new perfect(ish) life and the way he just seemed to fit now. apparently he’d had another panic attack, the day Rebecca went into labour, but looking at him now, Aaron could hardly believe it. “Aaron, are you even listening to me?”
“sorry! sorry, just- a lot on my mind.” as much as the ache in his bones had settled there, a permanent fixture in his ribs, Aaron couldn’t risk it. he couldn’t risk getting roped back in. as much as it hurt him, killed him to say, Robert seemed better now. happier. safer. more content in himself and who he was. him and Vic had never been closer, he had friends in Pete and Bernice and now Kerry and Vanessa too, and he’d seen Priya stop by with flowers not long after Seb was born. not that he’d been looking, of course. Aaron knew he was destructive, knew even better that he and Robert were a force to be reckoned with. as it turned out, Alex was the safer option not just for him, but for Robert too. so why did it feel like his heart was decaying in his chest?
no tags because its late butttttt can't wait to read what y'all put out<3