#a thought post

[theredchair]

The World has become a lonely place. There are people but not bonds. There are families, but no love. There is attraction but no commitment, there are governments, but no leadership, there is killing, but no healing, there is breaking, but no mending. We search for sanity, but insanity is all we find.

Yet all we have is our Mind. Clearly it's sending out signals that it has been poisoned.

[rmbrmyttns]

It’s weird to think that in five years there’s a good chance that I could have a kid. Like, I feel like high school was last year, but also, if I make it past my three month probation period, there’s a good chance that I’ve found my ‘career-type’ job.

Just weird to think that all of those pieces are beginning to fall into place, when the only things still on my mind are video games, and sex.

Oh and, something that occurred to me is that there is a realistic scenario in which any child I have may meet/interact with an ex (or two)’s children. How weird is that?

[samichi-blog-blog]

Reevalutating.. sort of.

A lot has happened since my last (original) post.

I now work as a cashier and sometimes in pharmacy. I like someone, but am not exactly sure how he feels about me. I've also dwindled down on smoking as of yesterday. I've had 5 cigarettes since yesterday morning.

I've been doing pretty well, but I want so much more. I deserve so much more. I deserve a job that I absolutely love that actually pays well AND gives me my weekends back. I deserve to love without fear and be loved in return. And right now, I really could use a cigarette, but you know what? I could really use my lungs.

I've really been exploring my options with the whole job thing. I've applied at a couple of different places that pay well and would give me my weekends back. I'm really excited about both opportunities, one more than the other to be honest, though. One of the opportunities was a job I previously held through a temp service. I loved it there, but it was temporary. I can honestly say that if I were to win the lottery I would continue to work at that place because that's how much I loved it. I can't really say that about my current job.

I guess that's it for now. I've just been doing some thinking lately. haha.