Hello. Omg i found your blog and it's basically the best gsr blog out there! i'm fascinated. Anyway what i wanted to ask, and i don't believe i've seen in you masterpost of csi, is what exactly was Grissom's fascination *it seemed to me* with Heather? what the heck is that "weird" friendship? it's so odd to me but at the same time I think he's drawn to her bc of her behaviour, perhaps. Thanks!
hi, @a-carnie-and-a-cop!
thank you for your kind words!
i've actually got a whole bunch of meta about grissom and heather's friendship in this tag, if you're interested.
the one that applies directly to your question is here. it says in part:
beneath the surface—and beyond appearances—grissom and heather actually share a lot in common.
aside from being intellectual equals and both students of human behavior, they also share key personality traits, the most prominent of which is a deep and secret sense of self-loathing and unworthiness. both view themselves as creatures of the darkness, in many ways undeserving of light and basic human kindness. both isolate themselves and keep others at arm’s length so as to avoid being rejected. though they crave connection, for a long time, neither one of them dares to seek companionship. instead, they throw themselves into their work, defining themselves based on their professions rather than any other more personal aspects of their lives. while they project confidence in their abilities and skill sets, inside, they conceptualize of themselves as somehow “less than,” insufficiently human and unable to form and maintain the kinds of relationships that to other people seem to come naturally (e.g., friendships, family ties, etc.).
those feelings of inadequacy and self-loathing are something that they recognize in each other and which form the basis of their deep and nuanced bond…
in each other, grissom and heather find a like soul—someone who understands their aloof and even misanthropic natures; someone who is aware of their flaws but does not out-of-hand judge or reject them. that heather is able to read grissom like an open book from their first meeting and yet does not disparage him, even knowing his fears and flaws, causes grissom to feel very loyal to her. that grissom knows who and what heather is and what she does for a living but does not assume the worst of her likewise elicits loyalty from her to him. each sees in the other someone like themselves, though (as per the very human impulse to excuse in our loved ones flaws that in ourselves we damn) they each also tend to think better of the other than they do of themselves, so whereas grissom finds his own asocial traits shameful, in heather he understands and can justify similar traits, and vice-versa.
because they understand each other on such a fundamental level, grissom and heather’s is a very frank relationship. though they may try to, they really can’t hide much from each other; emotionally, they are open books in each other’s presence. while we see heather call out grissom more often than he does her, as she is the more socially aggressive friend between the two of them, the fact is that he can see through her just as well as she can through him, and, in his own ways, he keeps her honest—such as he does in episode 07x23 “the good, the bad, and the dominatrix,” when he is able to recognize her depression based on their brief interaction in the hospital.
this rawness can at times be a source of social tension in their interactions—like in episode 09x05 “leave out all the rest,” when heather’s incisive questions about his and sara’s relationship get under grissom’s skin and he ends up snapping at her. for as much as having a “kindred spirit” is in some ways relieving to them, it can also be uncomfortable. because neither one of them can keep the masks they wear in the presence of others from slipping when they’re together, they often find themselves much more exposed than they’d prefer, like when grissom prevents heather from revenge-killing her daughter’s murderer, and she ends up sobbing in his arms, broken and emotionally naked (see episode 06x15 “pirates of the third reich”). in that moment, heather knows that grissom understands her rage and her shame and the darkness that threatened to take over her, and as much as she wishes she could turn away, she can’t. grissom is right there, witnessing her, fully aware of how close she came to doing something she could never take back.
you know that tim krieder quote that the kids are memeing nowadays—“if we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known”? well, that’s what’s at the crux of that scene and grissom and heather’s relationship in general. it’s a platonic love, but it’s still deep and important for both of them, to be sure, because to each other they are known, even when being known is uncomfortable for them.
so.
to answer your questions more directly:
grissom's fascination with heather is that he both understands and is understood by her. while on the outside (and especially to an outside observer), he, a lawman, and she, an outlaw, may not seem very similar, on the inside, they are mirrors of each other, both with genius-level intellects, a studied approach to humanity, an inability to relate to others "naturally," deep senses of self-loathing, even deeper desires for love and acceptance, etc. in some ways, being around heather is comforting for grissom because they just get each other in a way that doesn't require much explanation. in other ways, being around heather is supremely discomforting for grissom because he isn't able to hide from her in the same way he does most other people in his life. theirs is not a sexual or romantic relationship, but it is a very socially intimate one, almost like being best friends with your own shadow. part of the reason why grissom is so forgiving of heather and sees the best in her though others (including sara) don't is because, for him, wishing well for her is as close as he can come to wishing well for himself.
grissom and heather's weird friendship is based a lot in the similarity between them, as discussed above. that said, it is built up gradually, with grissom slowly proving to heather over the course of several encounters with her that unlike other law enforcement officials, he isn't distrustful or disdainful of her on account of her profession and that he is willing to hear her out, even in situations where others might assume her guilty; and, on the flip side, heather slowly showing grissom that while her powers of perception do allow her to see right through him, she is respectful enough of his boundaries that she won't violate his sense of self by reading too much into him without consent or pushing onto topics with which he isn't comfortable. theirs thus becomes a bond based in mutual trust and a commitment to seeing the best in each other. while i don't think they spend a lot of time "hanging out" or even socializing outside of cases (despite what sara may erroneously believe in the series finale), i do think that at times when they are together, they both feel very seen and validated, which is important to them, as they have both traditionally been pariahs in their lives.
anyway, those are my takes.
thanks for the question! please feel welcome to send another any time.
