draco : no doubt it will come and devour us all .
she is used to being on the menu . since birth , it seems , everyone around her has simply been waiting for the day she is swallowed down , swallowed whole —-- nothing of her left to prove that she had ever existed in the first place . a blink && you miss it existence [ ... ] perhaps that is why family had always felt distant . whenever she has ever taken the opportunity to reach for them , all fingers would grasp was smoke && air as she always , always , fell short . perhaps it has always been a means of protection regarding the daughter born with one foot in the grave [ ... ] does not think she'll ever figure out who the protection was for —-- her or them .
( all she knows is that it's hard to mourn someone you never allowed yourself to care about in ways other than the abstract . )
fingers smooth the hem of her skirt . it's an absent motion , fingertips pressing half on plaid fabric , half on tight clad thighs . it's an anxious motion , born && bred of being too afraid to take up too much space since infancy [ ... ] always felt like an intruder , like she was some place she was not allowed to be simply because she existed . ( she swallows , hears her mothers voice telling her to be quiet . hears her fathers voice calling someone to come with medicine that will make her sleep . a desire to shove her to the side masked in the warmth of care . )
astoria , watching her fingers : death ?
she speaks so simply , so plainly . there is no hushed tone , no tremble hidden within the word . she does not speak it like it is a terrible , frightening thing [ ... ] as if it is a taboo . it is a fact of life that everyone should acknowledge , she thinks [ ... ] avoidance && hushed tones does nothing but make you unprepared for the inevitability that it is .
here , she shifts . readjusts the cross of her ankle , laces fingers just below belly button && tilts head until ear presses against curvature of shoulder as eyes lift to focus upon him . comfortable yet polite , an acceptable amount of relaxation in the stretch of her neck as if expecting mother to walk through the door && give her a grade on presentation .
astoria , with a small smile : i'd offer to protect you but I'll be gone by then . sorry .
ft. @lightcreators , draco malfoy