#a3 meta

[miikewheelers]

ok so i’m reading the kotr event story (cuz it’s happening rn in the english version of the game) and can i just say? i’m having so many thoughts about itaru rn (spoilers for the event story under the cut)

the very first thing that comes to mind for me is the fact that he essentially developed almost a “split” personality when he was literally in fucking MIDDLE SCHOOL, and his SISTER gave him this brilliant idea. apparently it’s something that he still does to this day and? man, having to essentially live in two worlds for that long of your life must be really tough. it was basically to get more people on his side and to realize that he’s a lot cooler than he seems, because he was so introverted in school and he just wanted people to like him. and now, as an adult, he’s still living this “double life” as taruchi, an online persona with tens of thousands of followers, and not that many online figures, at least not ones i watch a lot, tend to act completely different in their day-to-day lives. of course, it’s one thing to be respectful in public and go off a bit when you’re vlogging in private or streaming, but literally having TWO distinct personalities just to hide what you’re like in both of your lives? it just seems really, really tough to me.

basically my point is this really has me thinking about how true to himself is itaru being. how much is he really being himself online AND in real life? listen i know he’s a fictional character, but it still makes me think a lot about how much hurt he must be experiencing in both areas of his life. how much he’s sacrificed internally to have his high follow count, and how far he’s willing to go during his day life to hide the fact that he’s a hardcore gamer hiding under the shell of a polite and social office worker; there has to be so much cognitive dissonance that he’s experiencing, and i can’t imagine that it can’t be taking some kind of toll on him. if one side finds out about the other side, as itaru has quite explicitly stated himself, it would damage his reputation; he’s trying to appeal to as many sides as he can without letting aspects of the other side(s) get in the way of functioning for the one he’s in. as a highly social person, i’m exactly like itaru in the sense that i want to do anything i can for others to like me, even if it means betraying my sense of self and personal values. we both hate being and feeling like we’re alone, and we want others to genuinely feel for us and understand us and attempt to connect with us on a social-emotional level, with whatever method(s) it may take. i try to appeal as many sides as i can, but at the end of the day, when i realize what side is better for me and which one isn’t, it’s so much better for me mentally; it’s like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

but despite this, i think there genuinely is a lesson to learn from this, and that is that it’s always a good idea to live for yourself, first and foremost. if people aren’t interested in you and find you boring or uninteresting, it says more about them than it does about you.

i guess it begs the question: who is the REAL itaru? how much of himself is he REALLY being in both of these aspects of his life? if he were to change things, how more (or less) comfortable would he be? in fact, how do you measure what the “real” someone is? is it based on self-perception or how others perceive you? there are a lot of sociology-based questions and methods/interpretations interwoven into this, but as a non-soc major (even though i do study it from time to time) i am NOT ready to dive into that rabbit hole just yet.

but yeah ig. itaru is just an incredible character to me and he’s honestly been through so much. i just want him to find himself and be happy.

[a-powerful-ball-of-kindness]

So since my Sakuya brainrot has been constant I wanna talk about a personal fan theory of mine. (Also because he's gotten minimal character development, there isn't a lot of canon to prove im wrong.) To me, Sakuya is a character with a lot of depth potential, it's just not utilized so I guess I wrote this as a way that he could have more depth. He is like, the first one, and he's essential to the dynamic of the company in a lot of ways. And idk I think L*ber should give him more space to grow as a person. bewarned that I am more or less fully caught up on JP A3 so this will have spoilers

In Act 5 when Chikage is running away he does the coin toss with Sakuya. Sakuya calls him out on the fact that the coin is in neither hand, and gets him to stay. (Love this part btw) Later, in front of everyone else, they do the coin toss and Sakuya guesses a hand and loses. Chikage: ...No, I don’t stand a chance against you. (This is a personal theory the rest of this is based on.) I think Chikage makes the coin disappear every time. It doesn't make sense to me that Sakuya would lose everyday straight for weeks unless Chikage was cheating somehow.  Of course at this point, Sakuya knows that it's in neither hand, but instead of calling him out he plays along. Chikage is a liar. He tends to enjoy creating a sort of suspension of disbelief. However, instead of calling him out Sakuya plays along. I think that suspension of disbelief is something Sakuya enjoys indulging in. The whole reason he got into acting was because of how well the actors created a suspension of disbelief. He enjoys being drawn into another person's world. (Side note; I think this is why Sakuya and Citron are such a good roommate pair. Citron really enjoys creating that suspension and Sakuya enjoys playing along. But their dynamic is a separate post) I think he (to some extent) intentionally chooses to come off as naïve. Partly because being genuine has probably gotten him screwed over and being a good boy but a little closed off helps. But also partly because he just likes playing along with whatever other people say. 

I'm not bashing on him, I think he's a genuinely good person, but (kinda Tsumugi style) he's capable of more than what meets the eye. Sakuya is a good boy and honestly even though he's capable of manipulation (imo) his first move is always to just ask if someone's okay and give genuine advice. But he's also suffered a lot and he's slowly healing and he's coping in his own way, just like everyone else.