Summary: 19 BBY. As the clone wars seemingly reach their peak, dark forces try to invade the senate and corrupt everyone that refuses to follow them. In midst of the chaos, the senator of the core planet Hosnian Prime finds herself in a horrible position: the new bill would cost her planet billions, yet if she did not agree it would cost her her life.
With a heavy heart, Big Mama contacted her former flame, a rouge rat Mandalorian bountyhunter with foundlings he raised.
The two turteloid padawans the Jedi council provided her with were simply too unexperienced to protect her on their own.
But the force likes to play its games with certain individuals.
What seemed like a quick cash grab quickly turned into a family reunion that was never supposed to happen, all while a brutal war was still raging out in the rim.
aay'han - the bittersweet moment of mourning and joy; "remembering and celebration"
This time it's about the presumption of loss built into their culture as defined by Karen Traviss and possibly hinted at in the new Didney canon
Blanket disclaimer that I am Aware of the Problematic Aspects of the Republic Commando Books. Like, I read the first trilogy, i saw them, I was there, Frodo.
But without those books and this author, we don't get Aayhan. Which is… it's neat.
hOkAY so in the RC books and KT's surrounding writing there are a few concepts that really Make mandos for me? Like as differentiated from any Noble Warrior People #253. 'A strong warrior code' is great and all but the specificity of the Mandalorian wordlview is…
I just like them, okay, I think they're neat.
SO ONE THING: is that Mandalorians used to worship gods. They don't anymore, but the concepts of them remain-- the god who represented the worst things in the universe, the one who would 'kill' your spirit, was Arasuum. A god of sloth and stagnation. The word arasuum still means 'stagnation' in Mando'a the same way that 'jovial' still means a good time bro even though the worship of Jupiter has strongly fallen off.
There was a trickster god, too, more neutral, and the Best god, the one mandalorians strove to emulate, was Kad Ha'rangir. Literally translates to 'the blade that makes ash?' A destroyer god, and a god of creation. The ideas are linked in the Mandalorian language-- creation comes from destruction, is only POSSIBLE with destruction. The greatest evil is everything staying the same. The greatest good is making new, and that comes with the end of things that are old.
(It is probably a heretical view that one needs a balance between the two-- Mandalorian stability and tradition are old. The language lives and gains new words and new ways to use those words but it has stayed more comprehensible than, say, Basic, which seems to have undergone massive levels of change within Yoda's lifetime. Is that not the hand of Arasuum? I bet the religious arguments about that ended up with the opposing philosophers in traction and that was the Really Polite Discourse)
What remains in the culture now that the gods are gone is this-- that the universe is not a battle between Good and Evil, Kind and Cruel, but Stagnation and Creation.
(ANd I watch The Mandalorian which is not bound to the concepts in the RC, I know that, but I also see:
Bo Katan sits on her throne, staring at nothing, defeated, in the hands of Arasuum
Bo Katan rises to the moment, throws off her stagnation, becomes Active, becomes Mandalorian once more.)
But anyway ANOTHER THING is that KT writes the Mandalorians as spiritually nomads, no matter how stable their current living situation. The only TRUE home a Mandalorian is guaranteed is within the Manda after death. A Mandalorian is not bound to a planet. A Mandalorian is Mandalorian because they have a mandalorian soul. And to have a Mandalorian soul is to know that at any time half the galaxy is pissed off at you, and you're pissed off at the other half.
There is a cultural expectation-- somewhat lost in later days by Mandalorians who live on Mandalore, but certainly firmly embedded in the minds of the remnant Ha'at'ade, the last of the true Mandalorians, who lost their civil war and saw power and structure ripped away from them.
In fact, their culture overlaps strongly with the Jedi here: they know loss is inevitable, and has to be accepted. That's one of the REALLY HARD lessons of the Jedi, too!
The difference, and likely one of the reasons* that Jedis and Mandos have Historically Not Gotten Along, is their reaction to that principle. Mandalorians don't limit their attachment to the things they know they may lose. Oh, no, they go full bore the other way-- they pour their time and souls into the things they love, and they defend them bitterly, and when they lose them if there is a tangible culprit for that loss they will pour their rage and grief upon that culprit--
(*There are a lot of reasons to be fair)
But then when the vengeance is done, the thing is over. What's lost is lost. Rebuild if you can. Salvage if you can. But you shouldn't be trying to re-enact the past! (TOR. Looking at YOU TOR) You are building the future. You are adapting, because that is how a culture is immortal. The Mandalorian word for immortal, going back to god words, is dar'asuum, and that 'asuum' is-- yeah-- straight from arasuum. No Longer Stagnant: an exulted state where you rise above your inherent inertia.
You can't avoid building because what you build will be destroyed-- you're robbing the future. You're robbing your soul.
Mandos know that everything lovely ends in time, to make room for the new; if it didn't, it would be the most poison fruit. If you can't let go, Arasuum's sleepy fingers twine around your heart, make you slow, complacent. You fight for what you love because you are a warrior, and the Taung's ashes burn inside your blood, but when it is gone it is gone.
Even a home.
(Din Djarin says: You'll have to move the covert.
Paz Vizsla says: This is the way)
And you rebuild it from the ash, if it's practical to do so. You break down the old forge and remake it into the new one. You take the shards of glass that were people and homes and infrastructure and the very ground of your planet and you make new things. But you don't rebuild the same. What a fool's errand. What a stagnant thing.
SO THESE THINGS are encapsulated in one of the signature Mando Cultural Experiences, which is Aayhan.
Aayhan is that moment of perfect fulfillment-- of happiness, of peace -- in which you feel the ghosts of those who are not there to see it with you. In which what you have lost tangles with what you have gained. In which you Remember as you Feel. Joy laced with pain to make the joy more piquant.
It's just such-- of course. Of course they have a word for that, of course they IDENTIFY that because what do could you possibly have, if you have lost nothing? Loss is part of life, it is essential, it is what keeps the galaxy turning and the stars burning until they too end. The rage keeps your heart pumping. The threat of it keeps you sharp. The grief throws your joy in brighter relief. Without the danger and the reality of knowing Everything Ends you are a stagnant shell.
Loss is assumed, in their language, in their culture, in the stories they tell and the sensations they seek. And it's when this comes out-- this shape of a culture that is NOT like the one we live in, that is not common in the Galaxy they exist in, which is just-- Mando-- I don't know, it just gets to me. I feel things.
(And Paz Vizsla demands to know why his people should fight on behalf of who have taken from them, due to whom they have lost so much, and it is a rhetorical question: he will answer it himself in the next breath: "Because we are Mandalorians!" )
If you’re still doing the dvd commentary meme, can you do this part from Aay’han? It makes me feel so many emotions.
Without meaning to cry, tears slip down his face anyways. The soak the pillow
Echo and Tup are by his side on the bed in an instant. Echo tugs him onto his lap, shifting his kama so it takes the hard edge of the plastoid that Dogma’s too tired to move his face away from.
“How many, vod’ika,” Echo says, gentle but firm.
“So many,” Dogma rasps. Even his voice isn’t responding right. “Too many.”
“Dogma-” Tup’s voice cracks. “Why? Why didn’t you just tell us? We could have done it together.”
“I was scared,” Dogma admits. “I thought that once you remember what I did the first time on Umbara, you- you’d leave.”
“What?” Tup starts petting his hair. It feels nice. “Why? That was ages ago! You’re different now.”
“But that was the real me. Before I knew.”
“Exactly.” Echo’s using that ARC voice, trying to leave no room for disbelief. “You didn’t know. The moment you did you did it differently. That’s still you, vod’ika .”
Dogma can’t find his voice again, so he just leaks tears into Echo’s kama. He’s too tired to even sob.
Suddenly Echo scoops him up, holds him safe and secure against his broad chest.
“Hmm?” Dogma questions. He’s done making words for now.
“Whenever someone wakes up we go to a rec room and sleep in a big pile,” Echo explains. “Time to catch up on missed opportunities, vod’ika .”
“I’ll go find the others,” Tup promises, and slips out.
Echo carries Dogma through the white halls. Dogma can feel people staring, so he hides his face in Echo’s blacks.
Finally Echo stops somewhere that’s dark and quiet. Echo puts Dogma on a soft couch and holds his safe and close and tight. Dogma already feels the tiniest bit better.
Then noise again. Pounding feet. Someone runs into the room.
“About time,” Fives growls.
Dogma flinches deeper into Echo’s hold, and Echo’s arms wrap tighter around him.
“Not now, Fives,” Echo growls back, like a protective mother tooka.
“I know! I just-”
Dogma feels strong arms grip his shoulders, the thumbs stroking against imaginary pauldon lines.
“Why,” Fives says finally, desperately. “Why didn’t you tell us! You didn’t have to hiding all this time, Dogma!”
Dogma can’t even answer, just lets fresh tears slip from his eyes.
“Not now .”
“Echo-”
“Come on Fives,” a voice he’s pretty sure is Twitch’s says softly. “This isn’t what Dogma needs right now.”
“Well, then, what does he need?!”
Dogma had closed his eyes, so he only felt Twitch’s hands pry Fives’ off, and put them back on without the tension.
“He needs to know you care. That’s it.”
“That’s what I’m doing!”
“Gently, Fives.”
“Alright,” Fives breathes slowly, and Dogma feels himself transferred from Echo’s arms to Fives’.
Fives wraps him up, safe and secure. “It’s ok, vod’ika ,” he rumbles. “You’re safe now, got it? Because we got you. No more going it alone.”
What a coincidence! This made me feel many emotions as well. Thank for this one I'm very happy to do it
Without meaning to cry, tears slip down his face anyways. The soak the pillow
Dogma is just an absolute mess at this moment. Physically, his body resets every time the loop does. But mentally he's carrying all the same things and it just gets added on to every time he loops. And it's been a lot of loops. Without anyone to even talk to, he's just bottling it up until he's nearly shattering from the pressure.
Echo and Tup are by his side on the bed in an instant. Echo tugs him onto his lap, shifting his kama so it takes the hard edge of the plastoid that Dogma’s too tired to move his face away from.
Echo and Tup are ready to care for Dogma. They've always been ready, but Dogma was too stuck to let himself be vulnerable
“How many, vod’ika,” Echo says, gentle but firm.
“So many,” Dogma rasps. Even his voice isn’t responding right. “Too many.”
“Dogma-” Tup’s voice cracks. “Why? Why didn’t you just tell us? We could have done it together.”
“I was scared,” Dogma admits. “I thought that once you remember what I did the first time on Umbara, you- you’d leave.”
At first, Dogma was certain he'd be in for a harsh reckoning for what he did on Umbara, one he thinks he completely deserves. So he hid in the loops, and didn't tell anyone what was happening to him. By the time he starts to realize maybe everyone doesn't hate him, he's stuck. Stuck in a prison of his own making, of his own habit and routine. He doesn't know how to break it.
“What?” Tup starts petting his hair. It feels nice. “Why? That was ages ago! You’re different now.”
“But that was the real me. Before I knew.”
“Exactly.” Echo’s using that ARC voice, trying to leave no room for disbelief. “You didn’t know. The moment you did you did it differently. That’s still you, vod’ika .”
Tup has long forgiven Dogma for what he did, and Echo wasn't technically there the first time. But he's heard enough, and he knows that other people have forgiven Dogma as well. Dogma thinks he's condemned by his first actions, that they determined who he was. But Echo knows that people change, and that sometimes things are out of everyone's control.
Dogma can’t find his voice again, so he just leaks tears into Echo’s kama. He’s too tired to even sob.
Dogma's energy is just completely spent at this moment. He does believe Echo and Tup, that maybe things can be alright, but he can't even respond. Ever had a long and draining and emotionally day and could barely move at the end? Dogma's had several of those now.
Suddenly Echo scoops him up, holds him safe and secure against his broad chest.
Dogma feels safe with Echo, which is important. He doesn't trust many people to do that.
“Hmm?” Dogma questions. He’s done making words for now.
Words are just hard sometimes. Dogma's run out of energy and motivation to make them work.
“Whenever someone wakes up we go to a rec room and sleep in a big pile,” Echo explains. “Time to catch up on missed opportunities, vod’ika .”
“I’ll go find the others,” Tup promises, and slips out.
The clones are very close with each other, and draw comfort from one another as well. The others have established their own tradition of this to make them feel safe and ready for the next loop. Dogma's been going at it all alone though.
Echo carries Dogma through the white halls. Dogma can feel people staring, so he hides his face in Echo’s blacks.
Many of the loopers have followed Hardcase's example and realized that even if they get funny looks in one loop, it doesn't matter at all in the long run. Dogma isn't used to so many staring
Finally Echo stops somewhere that’s dark and quiet. Echo puts Dogma on a soft couch and holds his safe and close and tight. Dogma already feels the tiniest bit better.
Trying to deal with everything has been overwhelming to Dogma. Not having to deal with light and sound and just having Echo holding him.
Then noise again. Pounding feet. Someone runs into the room.
“About time,” Fives growls.
Fives likes to do what I call "aggressive affection." We see it in the way he smacks all of his brothers. But I think that also includes trying to aggressively making sure his brothers know he cares. It's very intense and fierce.
Dogma flinches deeper into Echo’s hold, and Echo’s arms wrap tighter around him.
It's too much for Dogma right now.
“Not now, Fives,” Echo growls back, like a protective mother tooka.
Hehe Echo is a protective mama tooka
“I know! I just-”
Dogma feels strong arms grip his shoulders, the thumbs stroking against imaginary pauldon lines.
“Why,” Fives says finally, desperately. “Why didn’t you tell us! You didn’t have to hiding all this time, Dogma!”
Dogma can’t even answer, just lets fresh tears slip from his eyes.
Fives relies so much on his brothers, is so connected and socially entwined that he literally can't imagine someone not going to a brother when he needs help. So he can't understand why Dogma would hide from them when he was hurting. All of that aggressive caring is trying to come out now, like he wants to literally shake Dogma into understanding they love him.
“Not now .”
“Echo-”
Fives and Echo don't have full disagreements too often. This is one of those times.
“Come on Fives,” a voice he’s pretty sure is Twitch’s says softly. “This isn’t what Dogma needs right now.”
“Well, then, what does he need?!”
Fives loves his brothers, and is good at listening to his instincts on how to protect and care for him. But here, his instincts are a little off base. Twitch has a naturally more gentle approach, and can show him.
Dogma had closed his eyes, so he only felt Twitch’s hands pry Fives’ off, and put them back on without the tension.
“He needs to know you care. That’s it.”
“That’s what I’m doing!”
“Gently, Fives.”
Dogma has really been hard enough on himself. Twitch understands this, and knows the best thing they can do for Dogma is just show him that all those thoughts of no one else caring is a lie. They do care, they're not angry at him.
“Alright,” Fives breathes slowly, and Dogma feels himself transferred from Echo’s arms to Fives’.
Fives wraps him up, safe and secure. “It’s ok, vod’ika ,” he rumbles. “You’re safe now, got it? Because we got you. No more going it alone.”
NOW Fives' instincts can shine, and he just wraps up Dogma in a big hug.
Thanks so much for this ask! This was so nice to be able to explain what I was thinking and go in detail. Everyone feel free to ask me more! More! MORE!
It just occurred to me that in aay’han dogma doesn’t know mandoa. He doesn’t even refer to it as mandoa. He just calls them words he hears the arc troopers say. You’re killing me gaeasun.
Haha ok you've misunderstood me 🤣🤣🤣
Heres the passage in question:
“Yeah but they’re” -the next string of words out from Fives mouth Dogma has heard before, even though he doesn’t know their exact meaning. They’re words he only hears from ARC troopers- “ di’kutla decisions!
It's not mandoa, it's a bunch of foreign curses that ARC troopers end up learning through training. Fives is just swearing up a storm and Dogma hasnt been an arc ever so he has no idea what Fives is actually saying.
He knows some mandoa, I promise (he definitely knows vod, vodka and orivod)
