Summary: Barbara loses a friend near and dear to her suddenly. She releases in the lounge one day.
Warnings: Grief, loss, talks of loss, x reader insert
A/n: Someone said this the other day where I was, and it really hit me the way she said it. So. Here ya go. I've started just writing these small ass blurbs and trying to make them long enough to be something. This is only about 1k words. Are you all liking the shorter stuff again? It's what I'm writing. Like it's all I can figure out right now. I've been passing off a lot of ideas to friends but...idk lmk!
I've also for some reason really only been able to write angst so....sowwy. You're still able to send requests in! I'll see what I can do with them.
“Oh, Barb, I’m so sorry,” Melissa says, giving the woman a quick side hug before sitting down at their table.
You sit with Janine and Jacob, attempting to continue your conversations. But Barbara leans over to look at the three of you.
“Tell your friends you love them,” she says. “Tell them all the time. Because you don’t know…you just never know.” Her breath is shaky, but she’s smiling. And Melissa is giving her pity eyes, wishing she could help. The stages of grief never get easier. If they did, then one must be losing love.
“I’m sorry, Barbara,” you say, leaning back in your seat. She smiles and leans back in her chair.
“I don’t like this part of growing older.”
Melissa gasps hearing that. She doesn’t like this part either.
“We knew each other for almost fifty years,” Barbara says, her eyes looking at the flower arrangement in the center of the table. “We grew up together. She was one of my best friends. And she was taken so fast.”
She can feel the pain in her chest. And the tears that burn her eyes.
“Barb,” Melissa hums. She moves her hand to rest atop of Barbara’s. You look up at Jacob who glances at Janine. Janine is tearing up, the empath that she is.
“I just saw her a few months ago. She was in town, and we grabbed dinner. We spent four hours at a restaurant, laughing and drinking and crying. I just saw her.”
Melissa feels a shift in Barbara. Barbara grips Melissa’s hand as she squeezes her eyes shut. She’s praying. The three of you pause your eating and wait for her to open her eyes. Melissa sighs an ‘amen’ and crosses her heart as Barbara voices an ‘amen.’
“Barbara, why don’t you take the rest of the day?” you ask, standing and placing your hands on her shoulders. One of her hands reaches up to tap yours. And she grips it so tightly.
“I love you, Barbara Howard,” you whisper, leaning down and hugging her over her shoulders. She lets you and holds you there. Melissa’s watching the interaction. She smiles at you. It’s a watery smile, and it hurts you just as much to see Barbara like this. Melissa knew this person as well. But only through stories and tales.
You wonder how Melissa is. She’s not had her friend to talk to for the last few days. And you feel bad for them. You can tell that Barbara is feeling safe right now. Surrounded by people she loves. Surrounded by people who are letting her grieve and cry. Barbara wishes she could see her friend one last time.
“This…growing older. You start losing friends more often than you gain new ones. And it’s so hard.”
“Barb…,” Melissa hums, now wanting to change the subject. She’s trying to be nice, but the thought of her losing Barbara breaks her heart.
“I don’t like this,” Barbara says, gripping your arm that still wraps around her clavicle. Your head rests on hers, and you glance over at Janine and Jacob, who don’t want to intrude on this moment.
“I um…,” Melissa begins. But she chokes. “I’m so sorry.”
She’s never seen Barbara like this. Barbara’s lost people before. She has. But she’s not been this heartbroken. And God it hurts. It hurts Melissa to see her friend like this. It hurts you because you’re not ready for it either. You don’t want to think about a life without these two women. But you know that it will happen at some point.
And Melissa thinks she’s going to break, so she stands and walks to the coffee pot as though to fill up her mug. You want to check on Melissa, but Barbara has her grip on your arm, and so you hug her tighter. And now you can tell that Barbara is crying. She’s shaking, and you kiss her temple. And now she’s beating her hand on her chest because she wants the tightness to go away. She can’t breathe, and she knew she shouldn’t have gone this far. But she needed to tell someone. Gerald was so good to her. Gerald held her at night and held her the moment she found out.
It scared him—the cry she let out while on the phone in the kitchen. He held her for hours that night. He said he would deal with the travel plans when a date was set.
“Mel,” you whisper. She turns and takes a deep breath. You glance at Barbara, and she knows that you’re trying to tell her to hug her friend. You move to stand Barbara up, and she does, not realizing she’s being moved. But she falls instantly into Melissa’s arms.
Jacob and Janine pack up quickly. Janine packs your things up as you help with whatever this is that you’re facilitating. Melissa begins talking to Barbara, but you don’t know what she says. You, Jacob, and Janine leave to give them privacy. Janine feels weight release as she leaves the room, and Jacob gives her a hug as you stop by her room.
“You okay?” Jacob asks as the two of you begin walking up the stairs.
“Yeah.”
“You don’t have to say it. I can tell you want to. I love you, too. I’m glad we met. And we’ll be together, the Abbott crew, for a long time. Don’t worry.”
“Thanks,” you smile, giving him a hug as he drops you off at your classroom.
Melissa and Barbara stay in the lounge for another few minutes. Melissa whispers sorries and ‘i love yous’ to Barbara as she cries.
“You don’t go before me,” Melissa jokes. She laughs through her tears as the two part.
“What?” Barbara smiles.
“You’re not allowed to go before me. I’m not living a day without you, do you hear me?”
“Melissa,” Barbara hums.
“No. No, you’re not allowed to. I won’t allow it.”
“You’ll be fine without me. And we have many, many years together. Don’t you worry.”
“This scares me. This scares me a lot.” Melissa whispers this. She’s not afraid of death. She’s afraid of being alone.
“Me too. And don’t you leave without me either. I want to go kicking and screaming with you.”
Melissa smiles and fixes Barbara’s collar. Before she can pull her hand away, Barbara grabs it, clasps it in her hand, and sighs.
