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Everyone loves someone who had an abortion -- no matter what language you speak. Share these images with loved ones, make them your cover photos, and download them to share with the world! See our other images here.
“Everyone loves someone who has had an abortion —and it is that love that will be key to our liberation.” - Yamani Hernandez, National Network of Abortion Funds
This post is in no way an attempt to be insensitive toward women that struggle with getting pregnant. This post is a reflection of my experiences, nothing else. __ I have to admit when I see maternity photo shoots that include both parents and their family; I get a little sad. Growing up, one of the things I've always wanted was a family of my own and to give my husband a son. Knowing that I had three kids by men I was in problematic relationships with it didn't afford me the opportunity to experience pregnancy in a loving environment. In this photo, I was pregnant with Ash. This photo was captured for another blog I use to belong to. __ I struggled with keeping Ash because I didn't want to raise another child on my own. The only thing that kept me from having an abortion is the mental anguish I would have experienced. He would have always crossed my mind. I would have always wondered what he looked like, etc. __ First, understand that I love my children with all of my heart and I'm thankful that I didn't abort him. He is one of the reasons I look forward to coming home. After having him, I had my tubes tied so it wouldn't get pregnant again. I share all of this to say, everyone's maternity story is different. We may have wanted it to play out another way, but it didn't. I believe my children are here to serve a purpose. Despite my challenges as a parent and my desires as a child, I would change anything about my maternity stories. I may feel sad when I see the photos, but at the same time, I realize that wasn't supposed to be my story. #somethingsabouther #abortionstories #maternityphoto #mystory (at Avondale, Arizona)
A few days ago I was scrolling through my Instagram feed and came across this image on the comedian Amy Schumer’s page. I didn’t hesitate to save the image and share it on my own page with the following comment: I am one of the one in four. Shortly thereafter I got a text from my daughter: You had an abortion? Uh oh. #moreontheblog #linkinbio #oneinfour #abortionstories #shoutyourabortion #truelife #womensrights #prochoice #roevswade #womensstories #thisis50 #writerscommunity #writersofinstagram #mystory #lifestories
"'My mama tried to keep me away from boys,' she said. 'Obviously it didn't work, so I won't tell you that. You just gotta be smart and you gotta be careful. Boys, they can go around careless their whole lives. But you can either be careful now or careful later. That's your only choice, really. You got big things ahead of you. Don't you give that up for nobody.'" #nowreading #themothers #britbennett #2017books #forblackgirls #byablackgirl #abortionstories
My baby Adalyn
At times in our life we go through rough patches, but a friend once told me “what defines us is how well we rise after falling” I chose not to listen to her because in the state of mind I was in I didn’t actually want to listen to anyone or take advice from anyone either.After going through such a horrific and emotionally draining experience I decided I wanted to share my story, in a way of getting closure for myself aswel as helping people to understand some of the consequences and mistakes we choose to make in life, I want people to be able to relate to my story and not feel so alone.
My story
It all started when I developed a strong relationship with an old friend I knew back in high school, Me, being a solo mum, on the benefit hardly ever even socialising and always keeping to myself I found it hard to understand why someone like him would want anything to do with me, he had so much going for himself. I understand no ones perfect and we all have our flaws but I just could not fault him whatsoever. I didn’t think much of it at first, but we just clicked, we could talk for hours and never run out of things to say or get sick of each other it was amazing, I began to think that it could be the start of something great but I guess I was oblivious as to what he was actually doing, I was too caught up in this moment of being happy and I felt wanted for once.
Before we knew it he was coming around to visit, quite frequently, spending time with my one year old daughter aswel and I just felt so happy, something I hadn’t felt in a long time. Little did I know it wouldn’t actually stay like this, and my feelings of happiness and comfort were soon short lived. Things with us lasted a while and he was beginning to tell people about us and it felt real at this point. Except one night I had found him to be quite distant and as if he had something to hide, we made it clear at the start that we would not see other people while we were seeing each other and we were both happy with that, But I had to find out from my best friend that he was unfaithful and this was devastating. I didn’t realise he had no intentions of ever being with me but at some point it would have been nice to know this, I don’t think I actually wanted to be with him at this point either but I thought we had something special and I loved that feeling of being happy and comforted by him. I wanted to completely cut him off and never speak to him again and I tried for a few days, But this was not the case, because I was 5 weeks pregnant with his baby.
I was terrified and I didn’t even know whether I should tell him, a million things were going through my head and I could not keep it together. I rung him and he didn’t believe me, I guess he just thought it was my way of trying to crawl back into his life again, but it wasn’t. I was definitely pregnant and it was definitely his baby. My thoughts on abortion weren’t exactly the same as his, I don’t agree with it whatsoever but that’s just my opinion, I am too soft I guess and I get attached too quickly, I couldn’t bare the thought of someone taking my baby away from me. Yet we are only young, im 19 and he’s 21, he leads a busy life and has no time for a child, and I already have a daughter of my own, who im raising alone. I understand having two kids at my age, and having to be a solo mum to two kids that have different fathers isn’t the right thing to do for anyone, but I ended up pregnant and I had to deal with the consequences.
Because I had decided not to think about it and push all my feelings aside, I wasn’t thinking of myself I was only thinking of him and I just wanted him to be happy and that was wrong of me. I didn’t realise the severity of the situation because I was so overwhelmed, and before I knew it I had an appointment in a few weeks for termination. It didn’t quite register what I was doing because it didn’t begin to feel real for me, I just wanted to go back to normal and forget about everything in the hopes that they will go away. Everyone makes mistakes and this one I was so ashamed of. I should have been selfish and thought of myself and this baby aswel but I didn’t, I could see how unhappy he was and I just wanted to make it better for him as I felt somewhat responsible for destroying his life like this.
It all went so fast and it was time for us to attend the long awaited appointment we had been dreading, He was very supportive, always there for me and helping me get through this. I could not stop thinking in my head everything happens for a reason and if this was not what I was supposed to do then it wouldn’t happen. That night I broke down and I could not cope, I had never felt so much pain and sadness in my entire life. I had no idea what to do or what the right thing was, I began to re evaluate my feelings and tried to make up so many excuses for me to just leave and go home but I couldn’t think of any. I remember asking God for a sign, but I never got one. Maybe it was sign enough, seeing how upset and broken he was over this whole thing and again I realised I needed to do this in order for him to be happy, it broke my heart to see him like this and I guess I was putting other people before me and my own feelings.
August 1st came around almost instantly and I remember waiting in that waiting room for what seemed like forever. It wasn’t right for me to only think of him and not myself because no one could prepare me for what I was about to go through in the near future. It was the worst time in my entire life and I have never felt so much pain and regret. After a long 4 hour wait it was time to go in, they had finally called my name and I was feeling a range of different emotions, still holding on to him I didn’t want to let go, It all began to hit me and to be honest I didn’t even think I would get this far. I let go of him and the nurse escorts me to where I need to go, I remember walking down a long corridor and feeling like I was about to throw up. As I walk into the day surgery room I see ten faces all staring at me and I just lose it, finally now it becomes real what I am about to put myself and my unborn child through, I drop to the ground and I ball my eyes out. I cannot believe what I am doing and I am so disgusted with myself. I hate myself at this point but I listen to them and as I lay on this bed panicking I tell them I don’t want to do this anymore I don’t want them to kill my baby or take my baby away from me, and I think at this point its too late, I remember only having about 30 seconds before the anaesthesia kicked in and I was gone, I was hysterical still saying no to them and to my surprise they don’t actually listen, they carry on but its too late because in a matter of seconds I was out to it.
I woke 25 minutes later so disappointed in myself, so hurt, so upset I couldn’t even think. I could not understand what I had just done, I felt sick to my stomach for doing this. I am full of regret and so many emotions, I wish I had put my feelings and this baby first or at least gave it some thought rather than only thinking of others and how they feel. I couldn’t quite fathom what had just happened but my actions had resulted in someone losing a life, This had destroyed me.
When I made this terrible decision I had no idea what I would have to deal with afterwards, no amount of advice or support could fix what I had done nor could it fix how I was feeling. I regret the fact that I was so caught up in this moment of feeling happy with him that I only wanted him to be happy except that resulted in me having to pick up the pieces alone afterwards. After all the support he had given me during this whole experience It still didn’t make me feel any better, no one knows how you feel unless they have gone through it. I regret to this day making the decisions I made, because as I said before it resulted in me feeling so emotionally drained, so ashamed and hurt and I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy, no one deserves to feel the way I do and I am so broken. I believe time will heal me but I will never forget the day I lost my baby and I will never ever let someone’s feelings get in the way of mine. Everything does happen for a reason and maybe having two separated parents who cannot look after a child was the right decision for our baby to not continue with the pregnancy, but its a lesson learned and I will never forget it.
I am so sorry. No one should be coerced into having an abortion when it’s not what they really want, and the medical professionals should never have continued with the procedure under those circumstances. That is truly horrible. I hope that you and your daughter are well.
There are many resources for after-abortion support, including Exhale. Please know that you are not alone.
Thank you for sharing your story.
-mod Sara
Medication abortion was horrific
Forty two hours after taking 2 doses of mifepristone (threw up within an hour of the first one and had to return for pill #2) I began the serious phase of my medical abortion. At this stage, I was around 7-8 weeks pregnant and it was April 20th, a holiday I love to celebrate, and so after a healthy wake and bake, a large fruit salad with yogurt, one ondansetron (for my heinous nausea) one panadeineforte with codiene and one voltaren, I gave my body an hour to rest. My boyfriend arrived at my house and we cuddled up in my bed as I inserted two misoprostol tablets in each side of my mouth, four in total pressing up against my gums and cheek.
About twenty minutes in I noticed light cramps and knew I was in for some hard pain. I took another codeine panadeineforte even though I hadn’t completely dissolved the chalky abortion pills sitting in my mouth yet. From here, the pain intensified a thousand fold. I would feel waves of it rushing through my belly, tightening and throbbing similar to period pain, but with an added dose of raw relentless PAIN. It came in waves which was the only positive thing, I would go from writhing and groaning in pain as a peak that lasted about 3 minutes, followed by a steady decrease in pain for one minute, one minute of feeling totally fine and pain free, only to be immediately followed by another minute of pain intensifying, leading into the horrific, debilitating pain.
It all happened so quickly, I was not even an hour in. I had terrible nausea, began throwing up the entire contents of my stomach about once every hour. After expelling my deluxe fruit salad, I had nothing left in my stomach but water, bial, and the pain killers. I thought it was the voltaren making me sick as I read a whole bunch of nasty sounding side effects, but I think it was my extremely low tolerance to the codeine (pana). The anti nausea meds did nothing after taking two (one lasted more than twelve hours on both of the previous two days) and codiene (pana) on an empty stomach is death. My boyfriend made me choke down an orange which helped a bit, even though I still spent a long time expelling anything and everything from my stomach afterwards. So I wasted 8 panadeineforte (codiene) and was too scared to take more voltaren as I though it was the drug making me sick. It actually was the best, the anti inflammatory agent helped so much, definitely recommend asking about an anti inflammatory. This initial time included a call to the PAC in south australia (who enabled this abortion) about my horrendous pain and nausea, they told me to just bear through as best I could. I managed to keep about 4 of the painkillers down, but the pain was so severe for the first three hours that I felt no relief from them at all.
When I was in minimal pain and could actually speak, I would ask my boyfriend “how long has it been now?!?!?” (Usually only an hour had passed, felt like ages), I asked him to fill up my hot water bottle, to find me some heroin for the pain (jokingly but also kinda seriously), or to pack me a cone (they really helped me deal with the whole situation). When I could stand I rushed to the bathroom, the only side affect I didn’t have was diarrhoea even though I constantly felt like I needed to go to the toilet, I did poop once and during that time my hot water bottle burst in my lap. I knew there were more in the house and I knew how much they would help me, but the pain was so severe it made it impossible for me to locate one until a few more hours passed. I stayed in bed, screaming into my pillow and changing positions regularly, none of which were comfy for very long. *** I found random things that helped: a towel soaked in hot water laid across my back or belly (while I had no hot water bottle) deep breathing where it was possible, sitting down in a super hot shower, grabbing or hugging a pillow next to me while having many more on hand as well as my quilt, and strangely, moving my legs about. I would grind my hips around and spread my legs, rubbing them across my bed while stretching out my toes. I have no idea why or how it helped the pain but it sure did. ***
After five hours of the worst pain imaginable (probably similar to being in labour but with less pay off), we decided to relocate to my boyfriends house as he was starving. Sitting in the car was a comfortable position, and after two minutes of driving I felt the last painful twang of the night.
Then came the blood. I was concerned I hadn’t bled enough through the day, I hadn’t even had to change my pad. But while walking about the shops buying snacks, I felt a gushing waterfall happen inside of me. I felt chunks coming out too, and told my boyfriend I had to go to a toilet before sitting back down in his car. So we went to the servo across the road and I changed myself. OMFG, so much blood. My underwear were nearly soaked and the maxi pad completely red. I replaced it, after washing my thighs, the underwear, the toilet seat, with soap, and then wrapped more toilet paper around the pad. We then picked up a pizza and went home, took less than 20 minutes, and at home had to change myself again and have a shower. I passed a huge clot in the shower And had to grossly smush it down the plug hole. Unsure if that was the embryo as I had lost a few other huge clots too. Getting out of the shower was a struggle, I had to keep toilet paper at the entrance of my vagina while drying my legs briefly and quickly putting on my fresh underwear despite still being very wet with water. I went through 4 pairs of underpants and had to throw two of them away. Adult diapers probably would have been more suitable than maxi pads, it was ALOT of blood, the only trade off was that I felt no pain at all whilst bleeding or for the rest of the night.
Today I woke up after a great sleep, ate an orange and took one voltaren in preparation for my final course of misoprostol to expel any more uterine pregnancy tissue. I am in no pain, feel greatly relieved and am not bleeding heavily at all. It would have been a great success in my opinion, if it weren’t for the pain. I felt the medical abortion was a good option for me, as I would be terrified and have a panic attack in an actual operation setting, and figured I could deal with the pain. I was wrong, even when the painkillers did work, I still felt like I was going to die. Because of this, I will never go through this experience again, and hopefully never have to have any type of abortion, but absolutely not a medical abortion. Please ladies, consider surgical first, a 15 minute procedure with by comparison probably no pain at all. Now, in hindsight I feel as if it is the best option available.
That sounds so terrible! You’re right - it does sound like severe labour contractions. You have my sympathy and solidarity <3
Thank you for sharing your story, and take care.
-mod Sara
This wasn't my first time..
I know the statistics. I know how this whole process works. I’ve had an abortion before when I was 15 years old and I never thought at the age of 26 I would of gotten one again today. Today was the single most traumatic day of my life. I was 7 weeks into the pregnancy & I did not get any form of anesthesia or pain relief as I was alone and had nobody to drive be back home which was an hour away. I thought I was doing okay during the procedure and towards the middle of it, the canisters broke down twice. There I was legs wide open in a room of silence with the doctor who wouldn’t say a word to me while i waited for the nurse to fix the machines a I got more anxious and more afraid. I will never forget the pain I experienced the last 30 seconds of this procedure as I was crying out in agony. I was left shaking from my legs and couldn’t bear to look at anyone in the face as I was ashamed that I was crying. This time it was different because I felt EVERYTHING. I lay here hours later thinking about what I have done and I can’t help but feel sad, a little traumatized by what I felt & alone. I wish they had given me something to help the pain during the procedure. I don’t know if I can ever forgive myself for putting myself through this.
OP, that is absolutely horrendous. I am so sorry that this happened to you. That is very unprofessional and sounds so traumatic. There are many support groups and people to talk to online if you feel the need - I personally recommend Exhale. Please reach out for help if you need it. This was not your fault, and you are not alone.
- mod Sara
Ohio's Proposed Law Would Have Stopped Me From Getting an Abortion
“This bill effectively bans abortion in the state because most people don’t know they’re pregnant at six weeks. I didn’t. How can you get health care if you don’t know you need it?” - Mallory McMaster shares her abortion story in Cosmopolitan.com.
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