“I want to know why you stayed.” for Ouros
A collection of random “I want to know…” prompts.
He blinked once in momentary confusion, wondering what such a vague question could mean. Why he stayed? Stayed for what? Dinner? A major gathering event that was so boring everyone left but him? But as he thought about it, it slowly dawned on him that… The question probably meant why he stayed with the Free Company.
R’ouros had a history with Free Companies, or any group of people uniting for a cause, really. It wasn’t just because he got cabin fever quickly and couldn’t sit still in one place for too long, goodness knows he had extreme amounts of patience when required. No, what made him turn down company offers was his multitude of health problems… Aaaand his history with the Garlean Empire.
If anyone knew he helped the military, that he built Magitek machines that slaughtered countless innocent people… Well, he was certain they would not be kind to him, if they didn’t outright kill him first. And while he understood that deep rooted hate and distrust, he had abandoned that life. He was trying to make amends, to work away his sins, to prove to others – and to himself – that he was not a cruel monstrosity unworthy of life. That, deep down, he was a good person.
Sticking with one company jeopardized that. Gaining friends jeopardized that. Trusting others with his unforgivable past could ruin every chance he had at redemption. If, for one moment, he grew attached to someone, and that someone learned what he had done for the Empire, they could tell everyone else. Word would spread, no one would accept his help anymore, or even want it.
Helping people was all he had left in a world that didn’t want him, it was all that kept him going, even when he was exhausted beyond belief. If he lost that goal… What more was there for him?
So he avoided people and company offers. Turned down each and every one while making up silly excuses like “he loved to be free of obligations” or “was too busy.” He had every single intention of turning down Windsong’s offer of hospitality too. However, in a moment in desperation as he searched for work after the liberation of Ala Mhigo, Hydaelyn brought him to their doorstep. He thought he had gone to a different company house, until he had knocked and the front door was opened. He didn’t have a chance to reject them and run before he was pulled inside and basically handed the pen to sign up, eyes watching him with intense eagerness and excitement.
So he signed up, partially because he felt like he couldn’t let them down… Partially because he had so foolishly come to enjoy their company during their time in Othard. He let his guard down, and wasn’t able to say no. At least, not right away. He planned to make the excuse that the Company just wasn’t working out for him a week after joining… Unfortunately, there were certain individuals within the Company that he just… Couldn’t leave or forget, no matter how hard he tried.
He had lived in forced self-isolation for so long, and he was so, so lonely. He missed having friends. Real friends. He missed talking to people that understood him, connecting with them, forging bonds that mattered and would last. He missed–… He missed having a home.
So, despite the risks. Despite knowing he could lose everything should they ever find out the truth… He stayed. He stayed and lived in a constant, confused state of happiness and utter fear. Happiness for company and friendship, and in fear of having it all crash down in front of him like so many things had a habit of doing.
… Until… One of them found out the truth, and though it strained their bizarre friendship for a time, Khamri’a had come back around. And… And he trusted R’ouros. At least enough to the point where he was willing to share some of his own secrets with him. An honor he did not take lightly, of course… But the whole event, that whole conversation of the truth coming out and what it meant to him… Well. Needless to say, R’ouros wasn’t afraid anymore.
If the rest of the world crumbled and shattered around him, and his chance at redemption was ripped from his fingers, he knew he would at least have a home in the arms of a dear, dear friend…
“… Guess I stayed for the people!” R’ouros chimed up after a long bout of thoughtful silence. He beamed with a smile. “Windsong has some pretty great folks in it, like Mr. Silianaux, and Ana-chan and Khamri’a! Even though Khamri’a would tell you otherwise. He still likes to pretend he’s not part of the Company.” He laughed. Then, his expression softened with adoration as he continued. “… They kinda make it easy to stay, and they remind you that you–… You don’t have to be alone, and that no matter what… They’ve got your back.”
