#aboutbatmanmeta

[bastardsunlight]

Batman, how Super is that man of yours?

"The audacity."

He leaps off the edge of the building, the familiar shot of his grappling hook strangely sharp in the smoggy Gotham night.

[bastardsunlight]

“The ‘unf’ was purely accidental, just for the record. More of an ‘oomf’ if we’re being technical— But ah, while you’re on top of me…” - Clark @ Bruce

"Do me a favor, Clark... lose the sense of humor." Batman's eyes narrowed behind his cowl as he worked, jaw tight, on removing the piece of kryptonite lodged in Superman's chest. Metallo was mere feet away, only dirt and old oak between him and them and this was not the time for jokes.

send UMF if you think my muse is hot

[bastardsunlight]

So Bats, how long’ve you and Big Blue been married?

He doesn't look up from the micro-weld repair he is performing on the Batmobile, parked in some steaming Gotham alley, far from most prying eyes. Evidently not all, though he does not seem to bristle.

"I assume this is an attempt at humor." It isn't a question. Batman rarely asks questions, he simply acquires answers.

[bastardsunlight]

👐 Clark @ Bruce

How does one react when the Man of Steel grabs one’s face and forces it into a fish-like shape? Any man would be terrified, knowing what those hands can do. Batman knows what they can do, too—but he is not any man.

He moves like liquid shadow, out of the grip and then he is using his body as a fulcrum to put Superman on his back, pinning him with his own weight. Obviously, there is no way he can hold the kryptonian down with sheer force, but the point has been made.

“Did Krypto eat your homework, Blue?” Is that mirth sparkling in Stygian blue eyes? Hard to say. The Batman is, by and large, unknowable.

Send 👐 for my muse’s reaction to yours squishing their face!

[bastardsunlight]

Batman, if your power is being rich- does that make you a sugar daddy?

"If the League is a sugar baby," grunts the Bat, twisting the wheel on a microscope and then pushing away from the table on his rolling chair to input data on another keypad. "Yes."

He's not sure how he always seems to be saddled with the bill when at least two members of the Justice League are royalty and rule entire, prosperous nations. Maybe the refusal of Atlantis and Themyscira to deal in USD is a bit of a hamper, but surely they can convert some currency, barter...

Ah well, what else is he doing with it?

Anyway, in the long run, it does make Bruce Wayne look like an amazingly selfless philanthropist, elevating him above his rivals, men like Luthor and the Court of Owls. They may have money, but they're not the ones rebuilding the city when Clark decides to have a grudge match with Darkseid. Score one for Wayne Industries.

[bastardsunlight]

Batman, do you believe in love?

“Whether I believe in it or not is irrelevant,” responds the caped crusader, dropping his binoculars for only a moment to turn and look over one shoulder. “The act of will it takes to choose someone over everyone else in the world, every single day is a reality.” He turns back to his shadowy surveillance. And like much else about humans, we are helpless before it.

[bastardsunlight]

Ayo Bats you go down right ?

"In a fight? Rarely." There's the ghost of a knowing smile that crosses the Batman's face for just an instant, and then his mouth is a thin line, regarding this strange individual who has cornered him on one of his nightly patrols of his beloved and simultaneously accursed city.

[bastardsunlight]

A superbat playlist.

“You’re just the last of the real ones.”

//as always, @sxvethelastdance​ is also to blame.