#absolute fiends

[whirligiga]

Experiences of rat owners with insomnia

[wanderingtycho]

Teen Titans GO! is actually the worst thing

Bold statement to make in a world currently repeating its rise of fascism story arc I know, but I genuinely fucking despise this show and rather than do any sort of in depth analysis or breakdown explaining why the original show is so good and why the new one is so inferior, I’m just going to bitch and moan about the villain redesigns.

1. Killer Moth OG:

A stout lad, nice big wings, fluffy but intimidating. Absolutely drawn by one of you people horny on main for Moth-man. Great voice acting as well. Also a good father? I think? He tries.

The rebuild:

Look at this fucking idiot. This absolute buffoon. This lovechild of Invader Zim and Mojo Jojo lookin motherfucker. Disgusting.

2. Cinder Block Classic:

An absolute fuckin unit, a thicc and chunky son of a bitch, motherfuckers unlimited. He’s big, he’s dumb, he smashes shit and every part of his design reflects that. Flawless.

The Marylyn Manson’s “This is the new shit”:

Awful fuckin King Kong Kaiju lookin ugly ass thing I don’t even know. Goofy Optimus Prime lookin ass.

3. Plasmus:

Okay lemme tell you bout this sludgy gross boy. Plasmus is a totally normal human when unconscious, but when awake, he turns into this living pile of goo and goes WILD. Ya boi Cinder Block actually busts him out of prison and the first thing this bastard does is break into a nuclear waste processing plant and start chugging it down like the Toxic Avenger. An entire episode is dedicated to the Titans trying to stop him because as they cut and blast off parts of his body, they reform into their own autonomous monsters, each adapting to counter the various members of the teams powers. Plasmus is like The Thing from John Carpenter’s The Thing, a legit Keter class object, serious threat.

This:

Rejected Super Meat Boy boss. Horrible.

4. Overload:

Cool electricity/technology monster, spends an episode fucking up Cyborgs car.

What does he look like in TTGO! you ask?:

FUCKING NOTHING. BECAUSE HES NOT IN THE NEW SHOW APPARENTLY. AUTOMATIC FAIL.

But all of that, all these jokers, is just petty poop. That was all me being performatively angry. Now we get to the coup de grâce, the ultimate show stopper, the thing that makes me actually pissed off.

5. Slade:

Slade. The central antagonist of the show. A sadistic, cruel, manipulative mastermind who caused untold chaos and havoc. He once convinced Robin he had infected the rest of the Titans with nanomachines in their bloodstream, and that he could kill them all with a push of a button if Robin didn’t do his bidding. He emotionally, physically and psychologically abused and terrorized a young girl named Terra into fighting as his apprentice against the Titans, her former friends. Even after his death, Slades ghost continues to haunt Robin as a manifestation of his PTSD, antagonizing him and almost killing him through fear and stress. AND THEN SLADE CAME BACK FROM THE FUCKING DEAD, as the invincible minion of Ravens demon lord father. This guy is stone cold, beyond pure evil, not to be fucked with. Also voiced by the ineffable mr. Ron Perlman himself.

10 years later:

NYEH HEH HEH! BEWARE TITANS! YOU FACE THE GREAT SLADE!

fuck ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooff

How DARE you take one of the best, most intimidating, downright terrifying villains in cartoon history and REDUCE him to this gangly, spindly mockery of Deathstroke. For SHAME.

In summary, fuck Teen Titans GO! it is garbage. And an extra special piss off for that little teaser they put at the end of the credits for the shitty movie. You know the one I’m talking about, cynical nostalgia exploiting pricks.

[stardivingsea]

happy new year, I sat down to write on my computer in the candle light, but I can hear The Kittens running around like hellions and for the first time, I’m not sure if this is a good idea. I think the dark encourages their misdeeds...