An introduction is welcomed.
Throughout my life I have met a lot of people who fell outside of the commonly-accepted gender binary, or who desired to change/have changed their sex to allow their body to reflect who they truly are; however, I have not yet encountered anyone who quite feels the same way about their body as I do about mine. The many people who have changed their sex have usually gone from one sex to another, whether it was female to male, or male to female. What I strive to achieve with my body is not simply to change my sex, but rather, to fall into the "absolute middle" of both sexes as I interpret them; to become as close to what I refer to as "asexed" (not having a sex) as I can be. I would like to blend characteristics of both sexes within my body (in ways I will elaborate upon in later posts) and completely remove my reproductive organs as well. For those curious about my gender identity, I am agender, meaning I do not feel that I have a gender at all. My goal to become asexed is only very loosely linked to my gender identity, and has nothing to do with my gender expression. I derived the word asexed from a word in my native language: the French word asexué, meaning "which does not have a sex". As far as I know, English does not have a specific word for this, hence deriving one from French. If I am in the wrong, or if I am accidentally using a word belonging to another community, please correct me and I will change my wording immediately. I know I can only go so far because of biology, and because I cannot change the genetic makeup of my body. Do I have mental issues causing me to think this way and making me want to mess with my body in this way? Most likely. I am well aware this is not a normal train of thought for most people, but it has always been for me, and I hope I will be able to achieve what I want with my body even if people like to tell me my way of thinking is wrong. I started this blog partly as a way to discuss my situation, vent a bit, and also in hopes of meeting others like me, if any exist. In future posts I plan to go into more details about everything going on in my head regarding this situation. In the meantime, feel free to ask questions if you have any.