The Alters: Which Hogwarts house would you be in?
(This is honestly so funny cause I was just gonna guess which house everyone would be in, but then we all started talking and got really opinionated)
Payne: I’m in Slytherin for sure. I slept my way to the top with Professor Slughorn.
Billie: Hufflepuff! You know all they do is eat weed brownies and they seem like they’d have hella good music taste
Ashley: I’d want to be in Gryffindor but the hat would probably just laugh and put me in Hufflepuff
Kane: oh Gryffindor, for sure. They’re the only motherfuckers who could handle me.
Jake: Gryffindor, I guess?
Gabriel: I mean not to be That Bitch but probably Slytherin. I’d leave it up to the hat honestly. And no, I’m not taking the stupid fucking quiz.
demon: Ravenclaw? I’m not really super opinionated. I don’t really like the house divisions honestly. You can’t group everyone into four groups and I feel like it causes problems in the books. I suppose that’s people’s nature though.
Jane: do you have any idea how little I fuckin care? Gryffindor I guess. They seem like the jocks who always catch a break.
Zer0: Ravenclaw, for sure. I’d spend my time studying astronomy, writing weird poetry, and drinking psychedelic tea in the tower with that crazy ass divination teacher.
Gray: I’d convince the hat to put me in Hufflepuff. They’ve all gotta be easy to manipulate. Rather be a big fish in a small pond, you know? Also what better place to hide while I’m making horcruxes? No one suspects the sweet innocent Hufflepuffs.
corpse: ah fuck. Um. Hell. I think I’m a muggle honestly. Can I just hang out with Hagrid?
Asmodeus: I’m expelled.