Villain: Contact in Case of Emergency
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“Hello…uh Sir Villain. My dad told me to use this phone when I needed help and I uh—there’s someone outside.”
Villain lunged out of his seat, reassembling his suit with one hand.
“Your dad, Hero, where is he?”
“He’s o-on the ground. They put something shiny under the door and he fell.” The kid sniffled, swallowing back a sob. “He’s not getting up.”
“That’s okay. They just made him sleep.” Villain locked a gas mask around his head, then charged out the door, following the phone’s coordinates on his watch interface. “Are you feeling dizzy? Does your head hurt?”
“No, but my dad—he hit his head. He’s hurt.”
Dread sunk in Villain’s gut as he grappled the nearest building and shot into the air.
“Your dad’s strong, kiddo. He’ll be fine, but you’re gonna have to leave him so the bad guys don’t get you.” Villain instructed. “Your dad made you a hiding place, didn’t he? Somewhere safe for just you. I need you to go there and lock the door.”
“But dad’s supposed to go with me. He told me—"
“I’ll bring your dad over. We’ll be right behind you.”
“O-okay,” the kid shifted, footsteps sounding upon the floor.
“That’s good.” Metal clicked, hopefully a lock. “Thank you for being so brave. I’m going to get your dad and we’re going to be right with you. Just sit tight and don’t open the door until you hear your dad or me say the secret word, okay?”
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Hero lurched up before Villain could withdraw the antidote needle from his skin. An elbow caught his cheek and Villain fell back, clutching at his face.
“For fuck’s sake.”
“Oh—you.” Hero staggered onto his knee, clutching the countertop for support. “Where’d you put my kid?”
Villain shot to his feet.
“I didn’t—I just told her to go to whatever hiding place you made for her.” He skirted around Hero, hands held uselessly in the air as Hero attempted to heave himself up. “Figured you’d be the type of guy to build a safe room.”
Hero fell back to his knee.
“Look, I’ll,” Villain floundered, then sunk down to meet Hero’s eye, “I’ll just go get her. You’ve got like a secret signal, right? I told her to wait until she heard it and I—“
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The kid launched themself into Hero’s side. Hero caught them with an arm, leaning the bulk of his weight into a nearby cabinet. As Hero hushed and crooned, the kid’s hiccuping wails dissolved into stilted breaths.
“Everything’s fine, sweetheart.” He glanced at Villain, combing the kid’s hair back. “He got rid of all the bad guys.”
The kid divested their snotty, reddened face from Hero’s shirt.
“Thank you, Mister Villain.” They mumbled.
Unused to any similar sentiment, Villain straightened as if ready to salute. When the call came in, Villain had no time to reflect on the matter, but now, staring at the two, huddled together, the realization struck him: of all people, Hero had trusted him to protect his kid.
Him. A villain.
“It was no trouble at all to fulfill my duty as your err…emergency contact.”
Hero frowned and Villain squirmed.
Was that too presumptuous?
Sighing, Hero beckoned him, and Villain slunk over like a dog with a tucked tail. He stood expectantly, staring at the blood at Hero’s temple.
“Get down here,” Hero commanded gruffly, and so Villain went. Hero grabbed him as he descended and crammed him into the cradle of his arms, alongside the kid. Villain awkwardly shifted his arm around the kid and patted their tiny shoulder.
Hero palmed Villain’s neck and brought his forehead to his own.
“Thank you.”
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“Hello, this is Margaret Hanold from [X] Central School. Am I speaking with [Villain]?”
“Yes, ma’am.” Villain leaned forward his chair, furrowing his brow.
“I have [Kid Name] at the nurse’s office. They’re not feeling well today and we have been unable to get a hold of their father.” She paused and the line filled with the pitter patter of computer keys. “You’re listed here as an emergency contact. Are you able to pick them up or get in contact with their father?”
Villain twirled his car keys around his finger. From what he’d seen on the news, Hero had been called to an emergency in the next city over.
“Yeah, sure.” Villain stood up. “I’ll be over to grab them soon.”
The call ended and Villain stared at himself in the mirror.
“Damn, what’s next? A PTO meeting?”