I Would Be Your Friend if it Wasn't Borderline Illegal
I went to the park with a friend the other day, and while most of the time was spent acting our age, at one point we decided we wanted to swing. (The playground kind)
Swinging was always my favorite playground activity, so a-running to the swings we went. As we were swinging (and taking pictures and videos of ourselves swinging of course) a girl came over and sat in the swing next to mine.
She was probably about 13 or 14 years old; just an adorable little thing.
My friend and I were being our usual snarky selves, making jokes about the swings breaking or tipping over because they’re used to child sized bodies, not our adult sized bodies, and I noticed the girl chuckling at some of the things we were saying.
Being the ham that I am (new children’s book?), I wasn't about to stop making jokes if someone was laughing, even if she was only 14 or so.
My humor shows no prejudice.
So I continued with the snark, and she started chatting about her school, how the older kids always went crazy on the swings and how they almost tipped the whole thing over once.
She was cracking me up, and she was so stinking sweet; I wanted to hang out with her.
Until, that is, I remembered my age, and how super creepy that would be in the eyes of her parents.
Because odds are, if I did spend time with her, I would forget our age difference and end up saying something wildly inappropriate for the ears of a 13 year old, and it would get back to her parents and the authorities would be notified and it would become a big thing, even though it was totally innocent.
Kind of like that time when I was about 18 and I was in the pool with some friends’ kids, all boys I might add. They were trying to throw me in the pool, and once, a couple of them were successful. When I went in, my bottoms came all the way down, and three of the boys were underwater with goggles.
Their heads popped up out of that water like a pack of piranhas was coming towards them.
Anyways between flashing my piranha to a bunch of teenage boys and trying to befriend a teenage girl on the playground, someone someday is going to ban me from parks and the like.
So I decided it would be best to take my leave of the situation, and I went and played on the monkey bars.
I just hope park girl stays that cool for the rest of her life.
Be you, park girl. Be you.
Unless being you involves showing your piranha at inappropriate times. Don't do that!