I am now home alone for the foreseeable future.
That boy I reside with has filled his (well, my) suitcase with wife beaters and neckerchiefs and jetted off to a foreign land. Yay! I hear you say, I am free of the ball and chain! Time for celebrations, and what not. Truth is, I will most likely miss the big homosexual menace and his mischievous ways (I hope this doesn't inflate his already gargantuan ego).
Me being home alone aside, I have come to the conclusion that I have actually absolutely nothing to do with my free time, which I appear to have an abundance of. Whatever shall I do? Live a footloose and fancy free life?! If only the pennies allowed such frivolity. To ensure I do not slip into an abyss of loneliness, I have decided that for each day of my solitude, I shall share the details of my day with you lucky lot. How generous and selfless, I know. Fret not, you can thank me later. Seeing as the dear fancy gentleman, Ben Howell, left this afternoon, I shall count this as day one.
DAY 1:
And off he went, a chorus of goodbyes was had as the door closed. (The door which I have now double locked because obviously, everyone in the vicinity knows that I am home alone and an easy target.)
What to do with this new found freedom, I thought. Parade naked? Dance naked? Sing naked? Hmm, no, I shall save that for when I am feeling a bit mental. I shall settle for some biryani and good ole facey b - my loyal companion in life. A companion which I bore of pretty quickly, but always come crawling back to. What now? Naked time?! No, don't be silly. Four In A Bed time, which is much less risqué than one may think. What next? My eyes are heavy, so heavy. Should I go to the pub and be a social being? Why alright then. But first, I must nap! The nap - such a comforting yet treacherous thing, it can all go horribly wrong far too quickly. Not for me though, oh no, I smugly set an alarm and aim to hop up out the bed after 20 minutes of drooling slumber...
Stretch, yawn, repeat. That was niiiiice. Dead arm, oh dear, DEAD ARM, AHHH. Never mind, shower time. I enjoyed that nap, totally got my 20 minutes worth the...wait, it's dark...NONONONONONO! Rage. It was 23:29.
From that rambling and nonsensical, yet enlightening monologue, I think you will all realise that the accidental long nap is one of my worst nightmares. I have now wasted the whole evening and will be awake all night. Delightful. To make up for this outright tragedy, I opted for a spot of pancake making - without the eggs. Thankfully, this time there was no rage involved, just the unnecessary late night eating which I have become so fond of.
