Anon Advice Asks - April 13
sister anon (new), therapist anon, accommodations anon (new), personal anon, phenomenal anon (new)
sister anon
My sister hit me on my face so hard that she gave me a black eye and broke my glasses and my mother isn't doing shit to her all she did was call her on the phone and yell at her a bit
She's not punishing her at all my eye has a blood cloth in it
That's awful. I'm so sorry, that must feel like absolute shit. I really hope it heals quickly. You don't deserve that at all, I hope you know <3
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therapist anon
Therapist anon here (again I'm so sorry)
Don't wanna get into all the details but I'm getting sick and tired of people doubing my parents and calling them 'over protected'
Maybe it's culture shock but I call my parents if I'm going somewhere, like leaving school I'll call and let them know. On my late morning ill call or text to let them know I've left, I'm going to a shop with my friend and then going down the road to get ice cream for example
I don't think my parents are over protective at all, also I call and text them cos I want to let them know. Yes we have life 360 but I still want to let them know what's so strange about that! I always call my mum when I've left school and my dad on a particular road just cos I've been doing it since I got a phone
Also if my dad doesn't want me to work in a particular shop then guess what! IM NOT GONNA WORK THERE
And I call my dad when I'm going into a shop cos unless it's private shopping (makeup or clothes I don't need but want) then he tells me to pay using his card that I use to buy school lunch cos he's happy too
I don't think my family dynamic is weird but I'm getting so beyond SICK AND TIRED OF PEOPLE TELLING ME ITS WEIRD AND NOT NORMAL
I call my parents after school cos one I miss them, two I want to talk to them and tell them about my day AND THREE COS I LOVE THEM AND WANT TO SPEAK TO THEM
Like I'm sorry but it's such a culture shock that people here don't speak for their parents after school like do you not like them or something?
Anyways I'm sorry cos I said no details but here wr are lol
You're the best Cas love u lots 💓
Hi!
Honestly, I think as long as you're okay with it and you have the freedom to make some of your own decisions then it's not anyone's business. I think kids' feelings matter when it comes to rules and if you feel comfortable, then it's fine. it's not like you're being kept in a tower. You're doing what you want and just checking in. As an adult, I'm not getting red flags. Unless you're like...in your twenties or something.
Screw people for judging.
Also about your other ask about your cousin...it sounds like she likes your money more than she likes you, honestly. Like she seems entitled. Does she ever want to do things just with you and not when she gets something out of it?
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accommodations anon
hey cas! just had a argument with my friends about this and i just wanted to get your opinion on the topic and also just kind of vent because i'm so frustrated.
so basically we were talking about getting extra time on tests and they basically were just saying like "oh well I wish I had extra time and it’s so annoying because some people get it for test anxiety and everyone gets that" and I was like "ok so then why don't you apply for it if you get anxiety???" and then it launched a wholleee discussion because they kept talking about how extra time isn't fair and like "in the real world you don’t get accommodations so you should just learn to adapt" and I was like… "you don’t just LEARN TO ADAPT??? that's not how it works??????" (and also like. you can get accommodations in the real world???) and one of them made up some BS like "well it’s not fair because some people actually need them and the teachers just don’t know" and I was like. "then ASK?? for accommodations????" And she kept talking about people not wanting to ask/it’s too hard/that’s personal and I was like ok but I could argue people need to learn to "adapt" and be able to advocate for themselves and she was like well it’s not that easy and i’m like. are you HEARING YOURSELF????? And also even if some people need it and aren’t getting it why does that mean stop helping the people who need it and are getting it??? and my other friend was talking about how when she was little her mom would watch her do her homework and that’s how she learned time management and why can’t other people do that - and I was like first of all I never said that’s bad, i wish parents would all help their kids and teach them skills like time management, I never said people shouldn’t learn time management, because they should - second of all, YOU DONT HAVE ANY OF THESE ISSUES???? and some people could sit at a computer or whatever and just literally not be able to do whatever it is. Or they can, but it still may take them way longer than the average person. and YOU don't know what that's like. so it's not the same to say "just make yourself do it" to a neurotypical person. because they CAN just do it. and i tried to explain like adhd paralysis and the likes to them but they just would. not. listen. so like I guess if someone has a wheelchair or something we shouldn’t help them get around school with ramps/elevators, they should just "adapt" to it because "you don’t get accommodations the rest of your life"??? but if i had said that, they would have been all offended because they don't acknowledge that invisible mental disorders are just as valid as physical ones. like it's just so DUMB.
anyways. ugh. yeah. i'm just annoyed rn. they just really don't have any empathy i guess, they're too concerned about what's "fair" (fair meaning people with accommodations not getting better grades than them because then they're a threat ig).
hope your day was better than mine </3 love u lots cas, u do sm for us!
"And also even if some people need it and aren’t getting it why does that mean stop helping the people who need it and are getting it???"
THIS. This is the thing. Also, there's a difference between equal and equitable. It sounds like this person thinks equal is fair and it isn't, because tests in general are not made in a way that are easily accessible for everyone. So yeah, they aren't given in an equal way, but they're given in an equitable way, which puts everyone on the same playing field. Which is actually a whole lot more fair.
It sucks, because a lot of people feel like this. They just don't understand. But everything you said is so true, and you have a right to be frustrated.
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personal anon
hello cas personal anon
so first thank you for answering my last ask<3but this time i need some advice..
so uh for tge past 2years or so i would say ive realised that i liked both genders so i was like "welp i guess im bi" but recently i dont know, its like that im attracted to women thats 100% sure but men? i guess not really like i can admit when a guy is attractive but i just dont see myself WITH a guy, but also ive been thinking tgat i wouldnt care if the person im attracted to is like nonbinary im just getting confused.
anyways i hope youre having an amizing day/night!!
Hi!
Okay so remember that you don't have to be equally attracted to the genders to be bi. Just be attracted to more than one gender (girls and nonbinary people, for example). Also, there's a difference between physical attraction and romantic attraction. So it could be you're bisexual but ___romantic.
Also remember that labels are for YOU. It's okay if you aren't sure and it's okay to not have one. It's okay to just look at a person and say "YOU, I LIKE YOU" and not really have a label to go with that.
Sending love <3
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phenomenal anon (new)
So I am having just a phenomenally terrible week and wanted to rant to someone, I hope this is okay for me to do. (the rest of the ask is redacted)
Oh....my God. This is a truly horrible week. I am SO sorry about your dog, that's absolutely traumatic. I have no words. Have you considered going to therapy? That's really therapy-level shit.
And I hope your finger heals!
As far as being 18. Please take a breath <3 You don't have to suddenly know everything. You have time to learn and make mistakes. I am older than 18 and still learning and making mistakes, it's okay <3. I know it's scary, but being an adult has so many wonderful positives, I promise
Sending love <3