#acctually plural

[nopointinname]

Going to a high school reunion is like gambling who's gonna front.

Is it gonna be

a)

Regular German-speaking host

b)

Old Host + weirdo with behavioral issues

c)

Gatekeeper and/or Protector

d)

Unknown dormit part waking up from dormancy

e)

Surprise 5th option nobody sees coming

Place yo bets!

[nopointinname]

Rant-ish post.

c🌌: Living in a system is kinda fucked ngl. Everything has to be so complicated. Everyone's wants tend to collide. 1 person wants to go out partying, the rest don't. 1 person wants to isolate forever. 1 person just wants to control everything and everyone, inside and outside. 1 person rejects the idea of any friendly interaction and blocks us off from even giving other people a chance. 1 person doesn't even know he's in a system and thinks he's normal and everything's normal and no trauma happened and it's impossible for there to be anything wrong. 1 person is perpetually anxious. And I, I crave connection but I'm the only one who does and I front less than 1%.

We're led by two morons, one who doesn't think anything wrong with him and he's a singlet and one who controls the entire system from the backseat, I think of him as a secret dictator.

Everyone else is either mostly internal (like me and most fragments/Littles) or really just puppets on a string who don't realize they're on strings. Occasionally they're "allowed" SOME freedom of action and thought when it's "safe" 😐

Don't get me wrong, I love and appreciate all of the parts and people sharing this life with me, I think everyones doing their best, they've all been nothing but nice to me, I wouldn't want to get rid of a single one of my people. It's the structure, the trauma that is keeping us stuck like this, not the other's fault.

I wish my system was different, but I don't know how to improve things. I just know that there's reasons and structures keeping things this way. This sucks, one thing we all agree on.