Ace!Gabriel? Hell yes!
In honor of Ace Angels (and Demons) Day, have some asexual!Gabriel headcanons:
In the thousands of years he’s hidden himself among humans and gods and monsters, Gabriel has been in love many times, with many different people, but he’s never felt sexual attraction for any one of them.
He’s had sex, though. Many times.
Gabe is a sex-positive asexual. He likes the closeness and the physicality of it all, likes the tangible contact with whomever he’s with. For him, sex isn’t about love, but connection.
He can also be kind of an asshole about sex sometimes. That whole “libido” thing can be pretty funny to look in on, and he definitely gets his laughs.
Vessels are weird, okay? Gabriel’s an archangel, so they can’t exactly cut him off from anything, but vacationing on Earth for extended periods tends to ground you a little. Human bodies come with some weird junk attached, and he much preferred it after he let the soul move on and made the body his own.
He can do just about anything, change the map of the world, and he knows that some gods use that to great effect in the bedroom, but why would you bother when you can take on a much wider arena? Mostly, he’d rather build an entire castle out of jello and leave civilians to gawk at it than conjure some up for a quick romp.
Sometimes he uses his powers to make playmates: girls, boys, other categories that make humans get all hissy about binary systems. He knows most people assume they’re for sex, but they’re not. He just likes having them around. Mostly for aesthetic appeal. He makes some VERY pretty constructs.
Sex with Kali is some of the best he’s ever had because he can feel the heat in her skin, and she never cares if his attraction is exactly the same as she expects, as long as he’s focused on her.
And then there was the time Thor tried to bring up the “tension” between them. Gabe laughed until he cried, and still managed to choke out a “hell no.”
There are things Gabriel loves about humans, and the asexual movement is one of them (it took him a while to figure out that some humans felt this way too, and even longer for those humans to organize). He showed up at a Pride parade once, about a year before the apocalypse, and by the time he left, there were about 2000 more purple balloons and some very confused organizers.
More than one acephobe had earned his wrath and revenge. He takes altogether too much glee in showing them that, yeah, not only do asexuals exist, but some of them have the power of Heaven on their side.
That porno message he gave the Winchesters never really got around to the actual sex part. Yeah, he knew they’d turn the thing off at the first sign of skin. Wimps.