#aceblogging

[astriiformes]

To be quite honest with you all I do think that aro/ace-spectrum fans in fandoms where people are desperately inventing crossover ships and humanizing non-human characters in order to have a conventionally attractive guy to ship the main character with, instead of possibly having to enjoy a story with no romance in it, have the right to refer to everyone else as cowards.

[mtg-player1]

Asexual websites:

https://taaap.org/ The Aro Ace advocacy project. A US based advocacy project with events and info and so on.

https://azejournal.com/ Aze Journal is an aro, ace and agender journal with multiple mediums, but mostly writing (poetry, essays). People submit responses to a theme. Entirely free.

AVEN is an online asexuality forum.

Asexual Outreach is a canada-based organization that organizes ace week and is behind the organization aces and aros that runs local communities, especially in the US, but also elsewhere.

International asexuality day is a website dedicated to said day that has global connections.

asexual [dot] net is a website centred around ace dating and finding ace friends. they also have a blog that's about asexuality

acespace.love is a dating & friendship site targeted at alloaces.

what is asexuality is a website about asexuality

aces.nyc is an organization dedicated to asexuality based in new York city. It has more resources

asexuality archive is a website about asexuality

Alberta Asexuals and aromantics is an organization in Alberta.

this is the sounds fake but ok podcast's list of resources. Sounds fake but ok is a podcast about being aro and ace.

[sparrowaces]

when you hear people talking, do their voices have shapes

yes or no

yes

no

what the fuck are you talking about

me button

Voting ended onDec 2, 2025

[senpai-took-notice]

Ace pride crab

[cheesethesecond]

For whatever reason, I’ve seen an uptick in posts on social media that have been lumping all asexual people together in criticisms of certain behavior. I’m not here to discuss the validity of those criticisms. But I would like to try and broaden the perspective of what being ace on the internet looks like, because the focus and the representation seems very narrowly defined to me.

I’m thirty-one years old and I identify as asexual. I’ve seen it insinuated that being ace is a “stepping stone” sexuality, something you identify as when you’re younger before you realize your “true” sexuality later, something you grow out of. I learned about asexuality when I was 24, and didn’t start identifying as such until I was 26. Before that, I identified as straight, bisexual, and pansexual. I don’t intend to imply that those are sexualities you grow out of, either. I mean to say that everyone has their own journey, and sometimes the journey ends at ace.

Realizing I was asexual probably saved my life. I had a pretty significant drinking problem in college and for a while after, which was due to both untreated anxiety and depression and to feeling like I was broken when it came to sex and relationships. Finding a good therapist helped significantly. So did discovering asexuality. 

I still feel broken sometimes. I still get lonely sometimes.

I’m out to some people in my life, but not most, and probably never will be. I’ll probably also never be entirely comfortable talking about my sexuality regularly and freely. I exist in a place somewhere between “out and proud” and “in the closet,” and that’s probably where I’ll remain. Sometimes, it helps to hear that other people exist here, too.    

I’ve had sex with people of multiple genders. I might have more in the future. To me, sex is kind of like going to the ballet - I recognize it’s something a lot of people enjoy, and something that can be inherently beautiful. It just doesn’t do a whole lot for me. I can appreciate it when it’s particularly good, and I can be a willing participant when it’s something a partner really enjoys and wants to share. But I’m not looking for opportunities to go the ballet, and if I never went again, it wouldn’t phase me.

My sex-positivity does not negate the experiences of sex-negative aces. My asexuality also doesn’t negate the experiences of people who aren’t ace. Sex is awesome for people who want it, and also I think our culture relies far too heavily on sex as a universal touchstone when people’s relationships with it are so varied and nuanced. All these things can be true at once.

I most strongly identify as queer. I know a lot of people aren’t comfortable with that term. I will never call you queer if you don’t want to be called queer. I also am going to continue calling myself that. I don’t want to be called gay. That’s an umbrella term that doesn’t work for me. It’s not an experience I identify with.

I actually don’t write about being ace much, but I do really love exploring non-sexual intimacy, which are the parts of relationships I find most fascinating and most attractive, romantic or otherwise. Tenderness, physical and emotional closeness, different ways to communicate affection - that’s the good shit.

I don’t talk about being ace much, either, because I still struggle with anxiety and depression and mostly want to stay out of people’s way. But it’s been difficult to see some of these assumptions when my experience has been so different. Narrow, maybe. Under-informed, probably. But valid, and worth sharing. 

I’m ace, and this is how I exist.

[nimblermortal]

*defensive of ace representation*

There is no evidence in history, there is no evidence in modern life either, and the best we’ve got is fiction that tells us we’re robots.

[brazenbells]

I've finally put a finger on something that's been bugging me lately, re: my aromanticism.

I am deeply, DEEPLY uncomfortable with being perceived as alloromantic, to the degree that "repulsion" might be the best word to describe my feelings about it. I've felt like that pretty much all my life, although I didn't know that's what I was feeling.

To explain what I mean by that: even when I thought I was alloromantic, even when I didn't know aro was a thing, even when I was busy nursing "crushes" (aesthetic ones, I now realize) on celebrities and classmates--I was INTENSELY private about them. This was painted as normal, but like...this was not "oh I'm embarrassed because my friends are teasing me about my crush." The idea of anyone but like, my very closest friends having even a GUESS about who I might find attractive brought up the same sick-to-the-stomach dread as having to show my mother an F on my report card.

Even when I was seriously dating my ex, planning on marrying him--I loved the idea of a big party, a fancy dress, and all that. But the idea of standing up in front of anyone I knew--literally anyone, not just a big crowd or whatever--and talking about love made me kind of want to scream. I blamed it on being an introvert.

But you know what? I've never been afraid of public speaking, of performing, of standing in front of people and looking kind of silly.

It is, for obvious reasons, kind of coming up again in a big way as I get more serious with Otter Boy. I want to talk about it, how much I enjoy his company, how good I think we are for one another. But whenever I try, I feel like I need to explain at length how I am still aro, and elaborate ad nauseum on what I ACTUALLY mean when I'm describing my feelings, because I am so viscerally, deeply uncomfortable with them perceiving this as a romantic relationship--or more specifically, with them seeing me as a person who is alloromantic. I want to disclose way too much about stuff that is not other people's business, in order to keep them from misinterpreting it.

There's a panicky part of me that is convinced that, however kind and accepting my alloromantic friends may be, however much they don't argue with me when I explain that I don't feel romantic things...that they don't believe me. That they think that I just don't understand what that means, in the same way I occasionally think "you don't identify as ace, but the things you're saying sound...an awful lot like you're on the ace spectrum" about certain friends.

I KNOW I need to let that go. Even if it's true, I can't control what they think any more than they can control what I think, and as long as we all treat each other with respect it doesn't matter.

But it's still this long-term well of really negative emotion, and I haven't figured out how to deal with it yet. I'm hoping that identifying what it even IS will help.

[astriiformes]

Anyway the real questions I'd like to ask allo people in fandom in an attempt to get them to understand maybe a little bit why aro and/or ace fans feel so upset and lonely all the time are:

Do you have any aro/ace headcanons? Are they of main characters? Your favorite characters? Characters you even like?

When was the last time you read a fic that featured an aro/ace character? Did you bookmark it? Did you leave a comment? Have you ever put one on a reclist?

Have you ever participated in a genfic exchange? Have you ever considered that things like exchanges rely in part on having a certain number of participants, otherwise assignments won't work?

Have you ever had your art tagged with the name of a ship you didn't personally like? How did that make you feel? Have you ever thought about the fact that other people might feel the same way? Maybe even about the ships you do like?

Bonus hard round:

Have you ever considered what kind of a message it sends to say "Just let me write stories/make art/reblog posts about the things I like!" and to then exclude an entire group of marginalized people from "The things you like"