Azriel: I am darkness and death and I am too scarred for this world.
Also Azriel: *just thinking about the smile on Gwyn's face when she sees the necklace*
It’s been over a century since the epic and bloody war against Hybern, but a new, unprecedented horror lies in wait to threaten everything the Inner Circle holds dear.
At a mere 17, it seems that the only one who can save them is the Heir to the Night Court, Feyre and Rhysand’s daughter Eleana, but as a creature so vile promises to kill everyone she loves, she must combat the urge to succumb to the darkness herself. The key to success lies hidden within her mate, the bastard born Kaden, who is as oblivious to the bond as her Court is oblivious to the war on the horizon.
With the help of her cousin and warrior Felix, the son of the famed Nesta and Cassian, they will try to save everything they hold dear, hopefully before the darkness takes them all.
(This fic was written pre-acowar, so please bear in mind there are some small differences but it can still hopefully be enjoyed!)
“How can this be?” Feyre was clinging to him so tightly it was a struggle to breathe, but he didn’t mind. Felix loved affection from anyone, but especially his family.
He may be a warrior, a brute in some people’s eyes, and although now he had the scars to match he was still the quite soft. His softness and his fierceness complemented each other well, and Felix hoped his sisters would grow to be the same – protective of themselves, but still open to love in its many forms.
“It’s a miracle,” Azriel said.
“Truly.” She stepped back, laying a hand on his cheek. “And I know it’s you – your mind is wholly yours and exactly as it has always been.”
“Where are my parents? My sisters?”
“They’ve returned to Velaris. I’ll summon them to the House of Wind now-”
“No, no. Just ask them to go to our family home. Please.”
Feyre nodded, her eyes crinkling from joy and her smile wide. “I’ll make sure you can get inside. I’m just so shocked, and happy, and when we get Eleana back she’s going to be thrilled. She’s missed you so much.”
After another hug, Feyre winnowed them all to Felix’s childhood home. Felix would have done it himself, but since waking from the Other Side he didn’t completely trust his magic. So far, it felt and moved with him the way it had before, but how could he know how his death would affect it?
When Azriel put his hand on his shoulder as they walked up the garden path, he sighed in relief. He needed the comfort.
The first night, when he had awoken in darkness, he had screamed himself hoarse. It had taken all his strength to crawl towards a source of light, and all it had been was docks in the distance. He wasn’t near Velaris, he had no idea where he was, and as he felt the blackness consuming him he quivered and cried.
Not his finest moment.
He had yet to shake the feeling that came over him every time he was somewhere enclosed or dark. That cell had been a nightmare, and it was Kaden’s presence that soothed him enough to be coherent. If Azriel had left him down there much longer on his own, he might’ve become so feral he put the creatures to shame. He still willingly let Az put him there though, he needed to seem trusting, needed to convince his family he was who he said.
If the roles had been reversed, Felix would have killed himself on site rather than risking the safety of his family any longer.
Speaking of his family, he needed more details on his cousin and to what exactly her predicament was. He would happily blaze himself into an inferno of nothing once more if it meant saving her.
They entered the house and Felix quickly rushed upstairs to get a change of clothes. He would scare his poor mother to death if she saw him in this state.
When he came downstairs again – he also decided to quickly bathe, the smell on him would make even the creatures cringe – he heard the voices of his parents in the lounge.
Their words weren’t distinguishable, but Nesta seemed to be a bit hysterical, her tone high and scratchy in a way he’d never heard it. His father’s voice was low, and he often skipped a breath.
They had their backs to him as he entered the room, and the slight creak of the floorboards as he walked was what made them turn. Felix didn’t know what Azriel and Feyre had told them, but their reactions made him think absolutely nothing.
They both stilled, their bodies as rigid as statues.
His mother was the first to move, her mouth opened and closed as she looked at him, and she shook her head in disbelief. She took one tentative step forward, and then leant back into Cassian. Her eyes were flitting up and down him, taking in every inch of his alive body. She half-stretched out her hand, her bruised fingers shaking like a fallen leaf in the wind. It was the opposite of his father, who’s only movements were that of his hands as he held Nesta by the waist, keeping the woman afloat.
They stared at one another – Felix not daring to utter a word or make a move toward them.
Felix believed they may have stood there for hours just looking at each other if it had not been for his sister trapesing around the room absentmindedly, skipping to her heart’s desire. She hadn’t noticed him, not yet.
The first thought that entered his head at the sight of her was that it was far past her bedtime.
The sudden silence in the room prodded her to approach her parents, and when she saw Felix standing there – tall and strong and secure as he had ever been – a smile as bright as the sun in the Summer Court spread across her face.
“Lis!” she gasped, her tiny legs working to run as fast towards him as she could.
The breath was knocked out of him from her words. He knelt to meet her, arms wide open, letting her crash into him. He lifted her, giving her a kiss on both her cheeks as she asked where he had been. He apologized profusely, and as he said to her, “I had to leave for a bit, but I’m back now, and I’m here to stay,” he looked over her head and into the eyes of his mother and father.
She accepted his apology and started chattering away, telling her all about the things she had done and seen while he’d been gone. He was half-listening, and although he felt guilt at that he was too distracted by his unmoving parents.
He’d thought… He’d thought that they would be happy to see him, that they would be grieving him.
But from the looks of them he wasn’t sure they wanted him back.
“Feyre would you mind taking Quathryn and Thea upstairs, please?” Cassian asked. Feyre nodded, taking Quathryn from Felix’s arms much to the disdain of both siblings. Azriel followed behind her with the baby, and then they were alone.
His mother’s whole body was heaving with the effort it took her to breath, and the three steps it took for her to stand in front felt like a mile and looked like it took every ounce of energy still in her.
Her face, so cold, crumpled as a sob wrecked through her. “My baby boy,” she cried as she crushed her arms around his neck, holding him so tight it was like she was trying to forge him to her.
He slumped in relief, hugging her back just as tightly. He didn’t care how old he was, he needed a hug from his mother.
“I was worried you wouldn’t ever move,” Felix laughed quietly.
“All hope I’d had was torn away from me. My lovely, tiny child, you’re home now. You’re home.” She kept muttering you’re hometo him, all the while his father staring at the two.
Felix looked away from her, staring down his father. Felix didn’t speak – waiting for him to. Felix felt like he had done enough talking today, enough explaining, and right now he just needed the support of the people who were always supposed to provide it.
“You’re here?” Cassian said.
“Yes,” Felix whispered in return.
“There are so many things that I wanted to say to you – needed to. Assurances, about how much I love you my son, and how essential you are to this family, essential to me, of how incredibly proud I am of you. I hated myself for not telling you more often, for letting you think that you were alone or that I didn’t love you more than anything else. You are one of the four greatest things ever brought into this world, and I feel honoured to be your father. Shocked, even, that I sired someone so fantastic. There are so many things I needed to say to you, but for the life of me I can barely think of anything.”
Felix’s eyes burned at the words – ones his father may have needed to say, and ones he may have needed to hear.
Cassian approached them, wrapping his arms around both Felix and Nesta, the three silently but very happily crying.
_____
“Rhys?”
“Yes, Feyre darling?”
“Would you really do it?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll be by your side, and hers, when it has to be done.”
_____
“You came back from the dead and yet you still feel the need to bake us snacks?” Kaden was seated on the table, watching Felix as he prepared food for the family. He would help, but right now was also a thinking time for Felix, and Kaden trying to help would have just been a nuisance – not that Felix would ever say that.
Felix scoffed. “I can’t, nay, I refuseto have an official meeting unless there are at least three edible treats in the room.”
Kaden had caught his brother up on the things that had transpired since his death, an unusual concept indeed, and now Felix was stewing as he tried to understand everything that had happened. It had taken all night – even Nesta and Cassian had finally slept after the promises that Felix would stay in the house and be there when they awoke – and now that the sun had risen they were once again gathering to plan.
“Felix,” Kaden said quietly, “do you really think High Lord Rhysand will kill Eleana? I don’t think I could stop him if he tried. I don’t think anyone could.”
Felix finished scooping the cake mixture into its tin. He handed Kaden the spoon and mixing bowl, a little bit of raw batter left for Kaden to eat.
“I’ve thought this one over.” He placed the cake in the oven, moving onto his next project. “I do think he’d kill her.”
Kaden gaped at his fears being confirmed.
“But not like that.” Felix flicked him on the nose to change his expression. “I know Rhys, he’s like a second father to me, and when he says that he’ll kill her he means if there’s literally no other solution. If there’s no way to save her.”
“We have to think of a way.”
“Already have, your faith in me is so little nowadays. Anyway-”
“Not anyway, go back to the solution!”
“All in due time. As I was saying before you rudely interrupted, I think the reason Rhys would want it to be him is not because he wants her dead, not in any way shape or form, but because if she does have to go, which she won’t, it should be at the hands of someone she loves. It’s a scary thing, to be faced with death, but it’s easier if you have a loving figure at your side holding your hand, making you feel safe. I think Rhys wants to be that for her. Like how you were for me.”
“But we didn’t have a choice.”
“In a way Eleana doesn’t either. If you were where she was, and you had no control and were killing people by the thousands, what would you want?”
Kaden mulled over his words, his sombre mood at complete odds with the warm, welcoming scents of the kitchen.
He stayed with Felix while he baked, people coming in and out to see him as he whisked around the kitchen. His reunion with Mor was an especially teary one, and she clutched both Felix and Kaden to her as she wept tears of joy. It was a funny sight, the slight fae wedged between two massive Illyrians as she referred to them as boys – as Little Ones.
Quathryn came in too, still in her pyjamas and bleary eyed, and snuggled with Kaden while they watched Felix. It was good, as it meant they both got to be his taste testers for the morning.
When Amren entered the room to see her nephew, Kaden left.
It seemed their meetings had relocated from the House of Wind to the Nesta and Cassian’s home for the time being, and everyone gathered in the lounge room, chairs being pulled from bedrooms and studies to fit everyone.
The only people not seated were Cassian and Felix. The General had come to a realisation as he watched Felix holding Theodosia that Felix had never seen her swim – whatever the hell that meant.
So now the two near-identical males were sprawled on their stomachs in front of the baby, and as she lifted her arms and head off the floor Cassian went, “Swim swim swim swim swim swim swim,” and mimicked her movements, making her smile and lift her arms and legs up just like if she was swimming.
It was hands down one of the sweetest things Kaden had ever seen. Without thinking about it, he sent it to Eleana down the daemati bond she had so long ago established between them with a message that she just had to see this.
He was met with the same impenetrable wall he’d gotten every time he’d tried to contact her.
No one noticed when after that, Kaden got up and politely excused himself. He walked to the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He all but glanced in the mirror before he was throwing up in the basin.
_____
Felix read over the court reports as the room watched him. He wasn’t studying the way they attacked or analysing battle patterns, no, he was pouring over any and every description of Eleana.
He hummed and ahhed to himself, finally handing the papers to Kaden.
“Just as I thought,” he told his family.
“Do you care to elaborate?” Kaden was still waiting on the solution Felix claimed to have to have.
“I think we’re right in assuming that no daemati will be able to overpower this queen, but I don’t think we need one. Eleana is definitely still in there, and I think we have a way of bringing her back while also destroying the thing inside her.”
“How can you be sure she’s still in there?” Nesta asked, hanging onto every word her son said. “I have all faith that there’s a way to bring her back, but I would like to hear what makes you believe, having not seen her yourself, that she’s still in there.”
“Because it wanted Eleana for her magic, correct? But Eleana’s magic isn’t connected to her body, it’s connected to her soul. It isher, a part of her so intrinsic you could no less cut it out then cut out her heart. She’s in there alright, she’s just not in control.”
“But what do we do? If you think no daemati can help, an opinion I’ve heard a lot lately, then what can we do for her?” Morrigan asked.
“The answer is simple, we need to separate Eleana’s soul from the queen, expel the creature from her body, and then kill it.”
“It’s a good idea, but there is nothing simple about it. Tearing two souls from one another… how could that possibly be done?”
“Magic, of course. A magic user whose innate ability has always been the manipulation of souls. Whether it be finding them, reading them…” Felix turned his head and peered at Kaden.
The whole room followed his gaze, and soon every person in it had their eyes glued to the blonde male. They all looked between him and Felix in confused, including Kaden himself. He was the one Felix was implying could save Eleana, and yet he had no idea what thought was actually running through his best friend’s mind.
“Felix… that’s not something I can do. Seeing the Other Side, tracking people, it’s not at all like what you’re suggesting. I can’t just – just move souls around.”
“Yes, you can. I know it for a fact.” Felix stood and walked over to his father who had Thea in his lap. Felix picked the baby out of his arms, kissing her on the nose and holding her gently against him. “I know you can do it, because it’s what you did for Theodosia. You saved my sister’s life, and now you’ll save Eleana’s.”
Feyre gasped, standing and making her way next to Felix, looking down at the sitting Kaden. Her feet, once dragging along the carpet, had a hopeful skip in them, and the way she loomed over Kaden with her hands in fists in front of her made him lean back as much as he could.
“You can do this,” she said.
“No, I can’t,” Kaden sputtered. “What I did for Thea is completely different-”
“No, it’s not! Don’t you see? You saw her soul leaving to the other side, and you put it back in her body. You brought her back to life. What was the prophecy that Elain had been spouting all day? Gold will meld the soul to the body, or something like that. And remember what she had spat at you in those gardens? You are a veilsinger, and if you can separate the soul then you can also put it back. Elain isn’t an all-knowing force, and the majority of the time she doesn’t even know what she’s saying means, but damn it Kaden can’t you see?”
“No, I can’t. You’re right, I did bring Thea back and it was the most amazing thing my magic has ever done, but that doesn’t mean I can just go around tearing souls from their bodies!”
“Remember what she said though! If you can separate the soul, you can put it back! This thing always wanted Eleana, and the only person who will ever be able to save her is a veilsinger. And you, Kaden, are the only living veilsinger.”
“That could just be referring to the fact that I am very much capable of inflicting death, and that’s the only way I’ve seen souls detached. I don’t see them when people are still alive.” Kaden stood, pleading with his friend, overwhelmed by what he was suggesting.
“But you do. Every time you use your magic, you track their souls. You seetheir souls.”
The two half-Illyrians stood facing each other, Kaden shaking with an emotion he couldn’t name and Felix breathing heavily.
At a stalemate, Felix stepped forward. Surprisingly, he put Thea into Kaden’s arms, patting both of their heads.
The room was silent, everyone processing what Felix had suggested in their own ways. High Lord Rhysand had come behind Feyre, his hands resting on her waist, a small smile on his face as he came to see the truth in his nephew’s words. Cassian and Nesta were holding hands, their pride for their clever son clear on both of them. Amren stood in the corner, surly as always, but looking at Kaden not with apprehension, but maybe with a little appreciation. Not for who he was, but for what he might be able to do. Azriel was sitting in an armchair with his ankle crossed over his knee, drumming his fingers in thought while his shadows, lighter than they had been in days, swirled and smoked around him. And Mor was stepping back and forth nearly imperceptibly, wanting to approach the two but letting them come to their own conclusions.
While no one was paying attention, Quathryn was having cake by the fist full, shovelling it into her mouth without a care.
“This isn’t something I can practise,” Kaden said, breathless. “If I get it wrong, it could kill her.”
Felix shook his head. “You can’t kill Eleana, not even if you tried.”
“And the best part?” Felix spoke to the room, but he looked at Kaden, a knowing glint in his eyes. “She’s still in there, meaning she can’t hurt you either. You are the only one of us who that is true for. You can get to her, and you can bring her back to us.”
Kaden looked at the baby in his arms. She was old enough now that she could lift her head and look back, and she gave him the loveliest little toothless smile. Her arms flailed a bit, and as she knocked her hands against his chest Kaden knew that Felix’s idea might be the one to rescue Prythian from the clutches of a power-hungry beast.
There was one issue though.
“As much as I want this to work, I still can’t get close to her. Her defences, mental and physical, could be enough that I can’t get anywhere near Eleana’s body or soul. How would I confront her?”
Felix smirked devilishly. “Oh, my dear friend.” He clapped and rubbed his hands together. “Have you told me, word by word, exactly what the queen has said to you, done to you etcetera?”
“Yes…”
“Then you don’t need to worry about not being able to get close to her. I know females pretty well, and that one wants a piece of your hot bastard ass.”
Kaden rolled his eyes, and Cassian snorted so hard from the couch that he had to smother his subsequent laughs with his hands.
“Felix, you know I love your jokes but now isn’t the time for them-”
“He’s so right holy shit,” Cassian bellowed from the couch, slapping his knee and bending over as he snickered loudly.
He was still laughing when he got up and sauntered over to them, plucking Thea away from him and putting an arm around his shoulder. “Why else would this queen talk only to him? And we all know how suggestive she’s been.” Cassian smirked. “And now that she’s in the body of an Acheron woman? You’re basically irresistible.”
“What’s thatsupposed to mean?” Nesta balked.
“There’s something about all this,” Cassian pointed up and down Kaden’s body, “that makes you Archerons fall every Cauldron damned time.”
“That is not true,” Feyre scoffed.
“You don’t count, he’s your daughter’s – uh, thing. You haven’t known him outside the realm of Eleana. But Quathryn? He’s her best friend. Thea? I mean, just look at her.”
They all gathered curiously around the baby who was, quite bizarrely, staring at Kaden dreamily.
“Huh,” Feyre said.
“And Elain once told me that she thinks he’s one of the most attractive men she’s ever seen,” Cassian added.
“Bullshit,” Rhys said while smirking.
“I can confirm that one is true,” Azriel said quietly.
“And Nesta. Oh Mother, when she was pregnant? She-”
“Stop,” Nesta cut in, her mouth a thin line.
“And well we don’t need to talk about the effect he’s had on Eleana. If I did Rhys’ head might explode.”
“In summary, I’m a genius and this family could never function properly without me,” Felix finished. “Oh, and saving Eleana is entirely possible. All we need to do is find her.”
“This could go terribly wrong,” Kaden told him.
“Things have already gone terribly wrong, may as well roll with it.”
As much as I love the fandom, some of us really need to get over the idea that mates = otps
THIS IS NOT THE CASE!!!!
Yes, we can look to the possible Azriel and Elain pairing which backs my point but my main concern is Nessian!!! Everyone wants them to be together, including me because they are perfect together, except that everywhere I see on Tumblr are theories that they are mates, or this was where the mating bond snapped into place.
I have NO problem with theories, but can someone please explain why do couples like Cassian and Nesta in the SJM universe suddenly need to be mates in order for their romance to be legitimate?
Before ACOWAR came out, I despised the idea of Lucien and Elain becoming lovers as they were mates (I still do) - an idea majority of the fandom were OBSESSED WITH. I luckily had the opportunity to meet Sarah on her Empire of Storms tour and asked whether you had to love someone if you were mates with them. Her answer: NO.
And can we please acknowledge some couples in the universe like Rhys’ late parents and Beron and his wife (of the Autumn court) who were/are mates but in unloving relationships.
