We talk a lot about acotar retcons and character assassinations when it comes to Tamlin, Rhysand, and Feyre in particular, so here's more on why the rewrite of Feyre's character doesn't work for what it looks like sjm wants to do.
Feyre doesn't ever express a desire for a title. It's implied that there's a buried part of her that hates the thought of not being in power in acomaf, but it's never something Feyre comes to grips with and voices audibly. And even if she did, it wouldn't paint Feyre in a very flattering light because then her taking charge of her family back in the Human lands would look more like her wanting power and control rather than fulfilling her promise to her mother.
In book 1, Feyre is someone who sees caring for her family as a burden. She doesn't want to hunt, is weary with the needs of her sisters and father, wishes to spend time with her passions and hobbies rather than be responsible for other people. One of the bonding points between Feyre and Tamlin is that they were both younger siblings forced into a role of responsibility that they weren't prepared for. Tamlin saw that she hadn't been properly taken care of and wanted to ensure that she was.
sjm's tactic thus far in the series has been trying to imply that those who don't want power/never expect to have power are the best ones to wield it. She did with Tamlin first and then with Tarquin in acomaf, and a bit with Rhysand in acosf. It would be a decent tactic and would work with Feyre's initial characterization as someone who has leadership thrust upon them. So when Feyre becomes someone who craves power and control and it falls completely flat, especially since we don't see her having this sort of discussion with Rhysand before their wedding/oaths before the priestess and we don't see the ceremony at all.
And then by acosf, she almost completely reverts back to how she was in book one, wanting her responsibilities to be handled by someone else so she has time to paint and be with her family/friends, dreading responsibilities that include maintaining good-ish relations with a third of her court, and not really caring to educate herself on the court she rules. I'm heavily critical of Feyre/how Feyre's written more often than not, and in this case, I don't see what the point of her character's minor detour into bad-assery was if the end result is for her to become a High Lady in name only, with no desire to actually be equal in power and authority for the Night Court.
Working with the idea that an individual who come into power after not wanting it/not expecting it will be a good ruler worked well when sjm did it with Tamlin and Tarquin. Tamlin was the youngest of his brothers and assumed that he'd be a general for one of his brothers and joined the warbands instead of learning politics. There was a rough transition when he became High Lord, but he found his footing and started cleaning house, instituting reforms, receiving refugees, etc. Was well-loved by his people, joined their celebrations as a musician rather than presiding over them, was adored to the point that his sentries were willing to die to free him and their court from the curse.
Tarquin became High Lord upon the death of his cousin UtM and generally seems to be regarded as too young to be in power, but by all accounts, is well-loved and has dreams of a better future for his court and Prythian.
It's not especially well-handled with Rhysand because his court hasn't seen any changes and 2/3rds of his court hates him. There's also the point that Rhysand was the only son of the High Lord, the presumed heir, and was likely prepared for the role his entire life.
I honestly don't remember whether Rhysand ever said that he didn't want to be High Lord, so feel free to find out and tell me because i don't really feel like trying to find it. The greates differences between the Tamlin + Tarquin and Rhys is the lack of preparation and then the actions following coming to power. Rhysand was prepared to rule, but puts on a mask of cruelty and maintains the status quo with HC and Illyria in order to mask the existence of Velaris until he can't.
This brings us back to Feyre. Had she kept her initial characterization, it could have been framed like she sees the issues in the NC that even Rhys and the inner circle don't and makes it her mission to push change because while she may have not ever wanted power, she'll be damned if she’s just supposed to sit and watch two thirds of the court war with her husband every step of the way. If Rhys was still to be framed as the feminist king who gave her her title, she could be the one to make the title mean something in a land where the title been extinct for millenia. Instead, she "grows" to desire power and a title and receives one from her mate when they marry. Which she then uses to...not bow to the High Lords.
Immediately after she takes power, she proceeds to disarm and destroy a court in the middle of rebuilding, call a meeting (with Rhys) of all the other leaders only to have their party be the most reactive, least diplomatic, and refuse to ever account for any wrongdoings that she or Rhys have done while also not providing sufficient proof that Rhys didn't do certain horrendous things. Once the war is over, she reverts back to wanting nothing but downtime despite the fact that she and her entire social group are part of the ruling class and with all the problems that the NC has, should be busier than ever trying to address said problems.
acofas should have showed us a Feyre who, despite longing for a peaceful life with her family, studies the NC history and customs, taking initiative in ways she hadn't before as she grows in confidence as a leader, steps into her own as a High Lady and builds respect with her people without the influence of her husband. Maybe pushing in and rejecting some of Rhysand's ideas to show that she's not just going along with everything he says, showing regret for what she did under Rhys's influence in the Summer court and learning from it. Trying to restore/build better relations outside the court as well as within it, especially as the first human the High Lords restored to life and the one fae who holds a bit of each of their powers.
Instead we have a complacent Feyre who shows little to no interest in actually ruling and only really appreciates the title for the pomp and privileges it bestows.