#actually happened

[antonsprincess]

“are u gonna be a good boy for mommy?”

[lessthcn3]

Everytime a straight person assumes Stratt and Grace were involved with one another because they’re the opposite sex, a part of my soul screams in agony and dies!

[cowboyjoshdun]

oh wow, i wonder how the clique was doing while i was having my lunch break…………oH

[impermbanned]

Oh it has trauma :(

[ray935sworld]

Dani: I want a kid :(

Jorge: hold on *disappears for a few days* GOT ONE

Dani:..... What?

Jorge: *pulls out Victor* I got us a kid :)

*Dani and Victor staring at each other, unsure whose more confused about the situation*

[sleepysaurus4]

Me at a store: hmm should I buy plain or chili flavored tofu for diner

Ghost of a sorcerer I killed in the Wizard War who can only be seen by other magic users: How about tofu that fucking kills you you vegan piece of shit

[guineapigposting]

Human just got out of anesthesia and her first words were "I want my guinea pigs"

[plaguedbysanity]

Still thinking about the teenager I saw chasing after a car while waving around a 2/3's empty jug of chocolate milk at 7:48 pm the week before Christmas. Why was he so angry? Where did he get the milk? They don't- They don't sell... Cartons of milk at that town center WHERE DID HE GET THE MILK???

god i love florida. never a dull moment. miss ya milk guy, ill be thinking about you on my death bed.