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Second interview was today, 2:30-3pm. It seemed to go well, the GM said that he really liked how I’d answered his questions, and both he and the HR person said they’d had great feedback from my interview last week. At 3:35pm, my potential manager called - with a verbal job offer! Contract to follow subject to police check and reference check. Start date will be mid-June. I’m so relieved. Now to fill the next two weeks with fun stuff and to completely clean out my home office since I’ll be working in there full time bar one day a month.

Even better - the husband’s interview on Friday went so well that he’s got a second interview tomorrow. Plus he received a call back from another job he’d applied for that he’d been shortlisted - and is in discussions about a third job in a different division of his current (soon redundant) job.

#actually unemployed #but not for much longer!#future worky work work

I realised why I’ve been dreaming of the ocean on repeat - with dangerous fast tides and rips and rocks - and I can’t believe it took me so long to figure out. The fear / danger of the unknown. I feel so dumb it took my conscious self to understand and acknowledge. Last night I had a dream I was accompanying a group of friends while they went on a beginners kayaking session. I didn’t go on the water (an inlet / small ocean cove) but I appreciated the instructor’s tips and watching the others paddle and laugh.

Yesterday we had a catch up with about 15 former coworkers - some still at my old company, most who were made retrenched at the same time as me or who’d left prior. It was so good to see everyone! And so much support for each other. Truly these people were the reason we all worked together for so long. I really miss seeing / talking to them daily.

What I didn’t love was that the bar / brewery where we caught up was in the old Pentridge prison. They’re turned the space into shops and restaurants and a cinema, plus houses and appartments. It looks interesting and I get that once closed, it was prime inner-suburban real estate - but nope, I really didn’t like the underlying vibe. Definitely couldn’t live or work there and I’m still shaking off the atmosphere of the place.

#blah blah blah #welcome to inside my head #actually unemployed #definitely some spookiness and negative energy at that place #i think because i’m finally excited about a job the fear of the unknown future is being tempered #need to do some interview prep today for tomorrow’s second interview

I got a second interview! The manager who called was really excited to say I’d made it through to the next round, and asked if I had any questions about the interviewers (the GM & HR). I asked if she had any advice on their interview style and she reassured me it was generally more of an informal getting to know each other style interview, and she was sure I would shine as much as I did yesterday 🤩

So Monday afternoon. Teams based interview.

Meanwhile, the husband has just gone to a meeting at his current workplace to get his official redundancy / retrenchment notice. He’s known it’s coming since February (the branch of the business he works in is ceasing June 30), but this’ll be the offical notice period. But he also has a job interview lined up this afternoon - so fingers crossed for him too.

#blah blah blah #actually unemployed #gosh i feel giddy #thank you for all the good vibes #yes please praise me potential future manager - it’s what my eldest daughter perfectionist approval seeking inner child thrives on

I think the interview went really well! After hearing them describe the company and their approach to customers and employees, I’m even more interested in the role than I was beforehand. The only thing that makes me nervous that if I’m successful from this interview, is there’s a second round interview with HR and the general manager. Got to remember to take it as it comes.

And now I’m going to potter in the garden a bit before going to a wool / clothing mending workshop this afternoon.

#blah blah blah #actually unemployed

I have an interview tomorrow for a job in some ways I’m overqualified for but in some ways under-qualified for. It pays much less than jobs that I am qualified for but seems to have lots of employee perks (like only in the office one day a month!). I had a career coaching session yesterday and it seemed pretty helpful - tips to improve my resume and LinkedIn profile, and tips on interview prep. So now after a night of stressful and cringe-inducing job hunting dreams, I’m trying to do interview prep. Thanks, I hate it.

#actually unemployed #and it’s sunny outside today and i’d much rather be in the garden again like i have been for much of the past two days #there’s a lot of complaining lately - need to get it out of my head somewhere

Yesterday I was feeling pretty defeated. What’s the point what’s the point what’s the point kept echoing around in my head.

Two of my former colleagues / teammates were contacted by a (widely despised) manager about doing some contract work. He viewed my LinkedIn profile but didn’t contact me. One former teammate is ironing out the details of contract for her employment. My former manager was poached as soon as the news came out about our redundancy. I’m truly happy for both of them, but my lizard brain can’t help but tell me I’m hopeless and a failure and incompetent and it’s all my fault for not networking or building stronger networks blah blah blah. And it almost feels like I’m doing double time on the job hunting because I’m helping the husband with his job search too, and proofreading his cover letters.

Then this headline popped up as a news alert on my phone:

What’s the point echoed louder and louder and louder around in my head.

And I guess I keep looking for the point because nihilism and existentialism intertwine and if I don’t things seem very dark and bleak; and the point is, but is not limited to:

Offering my hand to an elderly woman at the supermarket who was struggling to stand from sitting on a bench seat, her paper thin skin and her smile

F’s excitement about free dress day and his absolute love and gratitude for me and the husband and his unbridled enthusiasm for basketball

The verdant green of the weeds I pulled from the garden yesterday and the sweet smell of the soil

That the sun will continue to rise and set and the earth will keep spinning regardless of what humans do to it

My guinea pigs calling me for snacks the moment they hear me step outside

Making soup for sick friends, and the witchiness of picking herbs from the garden to help them heal

It’s all bad but it’s not all bad, and there is a point somewhere I just struggle to articulate it.

#blah blah blah #we’re all fucked #but i guess we have each other #actually unemployed #better to work through the brain wonkiness than letting it run away with itself?#thanks for listening my friends in my phone

In news that is no surprise to anyone, job hunting sucks and I hate talking to people and I think I’d be happier living by myself in a swamp.

#actually unemployed #bought to you by today’s interaction with a recruiter #it’s FINE #going to go outside and rage weed the garden

The husband is all fine and back to normal and back to sinus rhythm after spending most of the day in the emergency department. I’ve finally managed to unclench my jaw from the holding everything together and all the what if’s.

Still haven’t heard about the cybersecurity job. My old manager called me with a possible lead for an insurance job at his new company (he had a role lined up as soon as the restructure was announced), and I said I’d be interested in throwing my hat in the ring. There’s a few other jobs that I’m looking at applying for but I’m pretty ambivalent about them. I keep going round and round on what type of work I want to do. Stay in life insurance? Something entirely new? Study? Branch out into general insurance? And then I wonder if I should try and chase some temp work while I figure it out (but I don’t want to work in a call centre which seems to be dominating the temp work ads right now). I’m so grateful that I have the time to figure it out but I also don’t want to be chewing through the severance payout.

One thing I have been doing is utilising the local library. Last week I went to a talk on garden vandals (bugs, wasps, rats, possums, birds) and how to minimise their negative impacts, and went to a one on one careers / jobs advice session. Earlier this week I went to a talk on a local lavender farm (https://warratinalavender.com.au - @maeganbobaegan it made me think of you, I could see you doing something like it!), and yesterday I did a Korean kimchi making workshop. My kimchi batch is so potent I had to put it outside on the deck when I got home - the garlic and chilli content would kill germs and/or vampires at ten paces.

Aside from that, everything this week and weekend is basketball. F and the husband have been watching the NBA playoffs where the time difference allows, or watching replays and game highlights. In addition to the usual Friday/Saturday games and training Sunday morning for F, his team is on mop duty for an NBL1 game on Saturday night.

F also has grand plans for my Mother’s Day - I can’t wait to find out what he’s come up with.

#blah blah blah #actually unemployed #use your local library - they’re amazing places