super angst with dk but a fluffy end please
Summary: You’re tired of bottling up your feelings, but the same day you decide to confess is the same day you have to meet Seokmin’s girlfriend. After confessing in the worst way you could think of you stopped talking to Seokmin. Months later you meet Seokmin at your old meet up spot and he has something to say.
A/N: I wrote and rewrote this so many times I lost track. I’m not really good at writing angst so this is like the first legit one I’ve written, but I wanted to give it a try. This was like sitting in our requests so I really wanted to get it done I hope it’s not too bad. Also requests are still open so feel free to send them in.
The lump in your throat grew and the tears in your eyes threatened to fall as you stared at the pair of intertwined hands. This was the day you were planning to confess your feelings to Seokmin but this had also, unfortunately, been the day that Seokmin was going to tell you about his new girlfriend.
“(Y/N)!” Seokmin called your name in a worried manner.
“Are you ok? Do you need to go to the hospital?” Seokmin’s new girlfriend looked back and forth between you and him. You could tell she was worried, of course she would be, she was Seokmin’s girlfriend, she probably had a heart of gold. But no matter how sincere she may seem the sound of her voice caused a painful knot in your stomach, and just as your tears, your lunch that you had consumed previously was trying to escape your body as well.
You got up abruptly, quickly picking up your bag and sliding out of the booth you were sitting at.
“Um, I’m fine. I just, I don’t feel well all of a sudden so I think I’m just gonna go home and try to sleep it off. Sorry for ending our plans so early.” You began walking towards the entrance but you were stopped by a firm hand holding onto your wrist.
You looked back to see Seokmin with a worried expression plastered to his face.
You were trying to keep your cool but your anger was rising up inside you, and having him in front of you, Lee Seokmin, your best friend, the guy you had been in love with for years, with his girlfriend sitting and staring at the two of you from one of the booths behind was not helping the situation. You yanked your wrist out of his grasp and walked out of the building, eyes burning and tears running down your cheeks. You heard footsteps behind you and you had no doubt in your mind that they belonged to Seokmin. You picked up the pace trying as hard as you could to get away from him. Not only were you angry but you were embarrassed. You imagined how it probably looked to Seokmin and his girlfriend, to see you one minute ordering food and the next to just be crying. Your wrist was held in his grip once again and you were harshly pulled back to face him.
“(Y/N), what the hell is wrong?”
“Stop. Don’t even try to give me excuses. You rarely get sick and you definitely never cry when you’re sick. Now tell me the reason, I left her all by herself at the restaurant to come get you. You’re my best friend so-”
This time it was your turn to interrupt him. You couldn’t stand it anymore. The fact that you felt as if you had to hide your feelings, having to stick with Seokmin through all his relationships, and worst of all having to hear him call you best friend constantly. You never knew the title of such a positive relationship could hurt you so bad. It was the best thing to hear him call you when you were younger but now the words were like poison. Those two words burned into your mind and ate at your heart. Something you used to love being called was now almost insulting to you.
“That’s why.” you told him, the tears now stopped and leaving your cheeks stained.
“I’m sick of it!” all your emotions that you had kept hidden were now pouring out. If this had gone the way you originally planned you would’ve been a deep shade of red and embarrassed beyond belief, but all you could feel now was rage and pity for your past and present self for having to keep your feelings bottled up because you were too scared to ruin the relationship between you and Seokmin.
“How!? How, Seokmin? How could you be so oblivious?” the tears had made a return and you saw as he reached out to brush them away, but you couldn’t let him. You know if he did something like that you would melt and let him get away with it, so you roughly pushed his hand away and continued. “Do you have one thought in your head as to why I asked to meet you for something super important today? I was gonna confess, you- you idiot! I’ve been in love with you since we were thirteen years old, but you had never shown any interest in me so I decided it was better to be at your side as your best friend rather than not at all. Lately, I wish I hadn’t.”
Seokmin was frozen in front of you, unable to get any words to leave his mouth so you continued.
“I was never more happy than I was this morning. I thought that even if you were to reject me then at least I wouldn’t have to hide how I feel, that maybe if you understood how I felt you would at least try to look at me, at least just once. But when you showed up with that girl,” you’re voice was cracking, the image of that girl’s hand in his refusing to leave your mind. Seokmin was standing in front of you, his expression had now changed from shock to heartbroken but he still had nothing to say and you had a lot more to tell.
“I prayed to myself that she was just a friend you had met at a singing competition recently, or maybe your cousin. I repeated over and over in my head to whoever was listening to make sure she wasn’t anything more than a friend, but I guess I was alone in my thoughts. I loved being your best friend, Seokmin, but I just can’t anymore. It’s too painful. I know I’m selfish for ending our friendship because of this, but, I just, I can’t do it anymore. My heart and my mind can’t do this anymore. I don’t think I can just stand-by and watch as you’re in love with someone else anymore.”
“(Y/N),” Seokmin had said your name as if it were a fragile piece of glass, scared that if he were to speak too loud or too harshly it would shatter.
“Just answer me this,” you stared deeply into Seokmin’s eyes trying to find the answers you have been trying to get for years. His eyes that you were so used to seeing in the shape of a smile, shining brightly, were now droopy and filled with sadness. “Did I,” you paused, slightly scared to hear the answer even though you were pretty sure you knew what he would say, “Did I ever stand a chance?”
“(Y/N)…” he replied, his voice heavy with heartache. You sniffled and wiped the tears that were sitting on your cheeks.
“It’s ok. I get it. See you later, Seokmin.” you had started walking towards the bus stop. You wanted to get home as soon as possible. After all that just happened you just wanted to wrap yourself in a blanket and spend some time alone.
“Wait,” the one word that Seokmin said had stopped you in your tracks. “That’s not it,” you wanted to question him, ask him what the real reason was, if he had ever liked you, if he did why he didn’t tell you, but you couldn’t seem to produce any words.
“You’re too good for me, (Y/N). In every way possible, you’re better than me. And for that reason, you deserve someone better than me. I don’t want you to waste your time on me. It’s not like I never thought about us before as a couple, but every time it ended in thoughts of all the ways I might end up hurting you. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if that ever happened.”
Your mind couldn’t process what he had just said. How could he, Lee Seokmin, the happiest, sweetest goofball you know, ever hurt you? Other than today he had never hurt you terribly.
“When it comes to relationships you can’t make all the decisions on your own.” You looked into his sorrowful eyes and put on a fake smile that you were all too used to wearing. “You better hurry back. She’s probably still waiting for you.”
You unwillingly tore your eyes away from him and walked to the bus, ignoring the call of your names and the pleads of you to stop and wait.
Three months filled with unanswered texts and purposefully missed phone calls from Seokmin had passed. You did your best to avoid all the places where you and Seokmin had spent your time before your angry confession. You thought it would be easier to cut him out of your life so you could get over him and move on. The truth was, without Seokmin, who was your literal ray of sunshine, your life had become miserable and gloomy.
During the three months you were living without Seokmin in your life, you had gone on several blind dates, but none of them quite suited your taste, none of them were him. You were getting ready for your next scheduled date, and although this would probably end the same as all the others this date had you shaking. Of course with your luck it happened to be at the same place you had spent all your time with Seokmin at which was also the last place you ever wanted to go. You know there wasn’t a big chance of him being there at the exact same time as your date but that one in a million chance was killing you.
You had arrived in front of the familiar glass entrance and took a peek inside, with Seokmin no where in sight you exhaled the breath you weren’t aware you had been holding. You went in and ordered a drink for you and another for your date who hadn’t shown up yet. You went and sat down at a table observing the whole area. Not much had changed about it except for the fact that they had some new pictures and posters on the wall.
You pulled out your phone to text your date and ask where they were and then went on some apps to distract you from thinking of the memories this small place gave you.
An hour passed and the iced coffee sitting in front of you was still full and was no longer iced. You sighed playing with the straw stuck in the cup of your sweet, colorful drink that you had barely drank from because it doesn’t really fit into the category of what you would usually order. You had already figured out about fifteen minutes before that your date wouldn’t be coming. You had been telling yourself that maybe they woke up late, or maybe the traffic was bad, or that maybe they had a family problem, but you had given up making excuses for your date, especially because they hadn’t replied to your text.
You had started getting up from your seat when a voice, who couldn’t have belonged to anyone else, spoke from behind you. Of course with your luck you got that one in a million chance of seeing him.
“Were you with someone?” he peeked around your side to see two, almost completely full drinks sitting on the table and changed his question, “Or… were you waiting for someone?”
You hesitantly turned around to face him.
“Actually… I got stood up,” you rubbed the nape of your neck, both embarrassed by the fact that he had seen you alone and by the fact that this is the first thing you’re telling him after three months. You cleared your throat and took in the image of the face that you had missed so much. “Um, are you here with your girlfriend?”
A sad smile broke out across his face, “So you haven’t even listened to my voicemails then…”
Another wave of embarrassment hit you and you suddenly felt bad for ignoring him all this time.
“Ya I guess I didn’t get around to it,” you were trying your best to keep a calm composure and treated him as coldly as you could make yourself towards him. After all, you were still in love with him and if you cracked, even just a little, you’d be putty in his hands.
“Oh,” Seokmin had stared at you with the same sad eyes that he had on the day of your guys’ fight, “Well, uh, we broke up. After that day I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I mean I always thought about you before, I mean how could I not when we were best friends for years,” you winced at the two words that you had come to hate and Seokmin took a deep breath in to stop himself from rambling any further, “What I’m trying to say is, after that day, I thought a lot about the things you said, and I guess I was looking at you the whole time, I just didn’t realize it myself.”
That was it. You had cracked. Your feelings for him that you had been trying to throw away for the last three months came gushing back out. You had practically thrown yourself into Seokmin’s arms. Tears wet the part of his shirt that you had buried your head in. You felt Seokmin stiffen from the sudden physical contact, but as quickly as he tensed up he relaxed and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you as tight as he could against him.
“I’m sorry,” you were bawling, not caring about all the stares you were probably getting, “I’m so so sorry, I’m really sorry,”
Seokmin was stroking the back of your head, calming you, “Shh, (Y/N), it’s okay now. I know my feelings for you now, all I see is you, all I ever want to see is you. Trust me, I’m never letting you go again.”
“(Y/N)”, you replied with a small hum, “I love you.”
You stopped moving and so had your tears. He had always said that he loved you before but this time you could tell there was a deeper reason behind it, it was no longer just an exchanged saying between friends.
“I’ve always loved you,” you smiled, moving your face in front of his before laying a long awaited, sweet kiss on his lips, “Thanks for coming on a one in a million chance.”
