#admin hirahara

[uci-fanfic-requests]

Hello there!

May I have a crossover with OFF where The Batter and Kirishima are doing arm wrestling in high tension? (I need to see them holding hands and look at each other's eyes HAHAHA 😭)

Thank you!

I can't believe we have two fanfics of OFF crossover with Tanizaki specifically already. I'm biased towards the two with bats. Anyways, who do you think would win, in this case? The Batter or Kirishima? Even I don't know, ha ha. -Admin Hirahara

There was a guest at the manor, today. A mysterious man who's face was hidden under a baseball cap. He carried around a bat, speaking mysteriously about cleansing the world. None of the escorts really knew where he came from, or where he was going. He seemed to hold off well on his own, though, in the underworld - having completed an assignment that Kirishima was supposed to finish. Without knowing what else to do, it was Kirishima who brought this man back to the manor so he could report it to Rokkaku.

According to Rokkaku, this Batter might have been from some human branch who worked similarly to the escorts of the underworld. For now, it was important to make him feel at ease in the manor, at least until they figure out what his goal is.

That was also why the escorts were so curious about him. Although he appeared human, his strength was clearly other worldly for him to have defeated a corrupt deceased one in Kirishima's place. Even Kirishima had to admit, even though it was good that the deceased one mission was completed, he wanted to be the one to do it.

How strong, exactly, was this person? Could they match the might of an oni?

"There's only one way to find out," Kinoshita stated, clapping his hands together. "Why don't we have a friendly match of arm wrestling? Rokkaku told us to all get along, so we shouldn't go all out in training. But arm wrestling is a good measure of strength too." Kirishima really liked that idea, and it seemed the mysterious Batter was willing to give it a shot.

The Batter sat down at the table first, resting his elbow on the surface and holding out his hand. Kirishima sat down next, gripping the Batter's hand in his own. Already, Kirishima could tell that this person wasn't playing around when it came to strength. Kirishima hoped it would be a fierce battle.

"Ready?" Kinoshita asked, holding up his hand. "Start!" At that, both Kirishima and the mysterious man immediately began to emit an aura that showed they were dead serious on winning.

Kirishima could feel the muscles tensing from the Batter. Of course he'd have good arm strength, he had swung his bat with such force that it knocked the deceased one across a room. But Kirishima wasn't one to back off from a challenge. He'd often trained with Hirahara before, a man who was just brute strength, so he felt he could at least hold out.

The mysterious Batter, who's eyes were still covered, let slip a glance of determination. It told Kirishima that they were pretty evenly matched. This person also wanted to win, and he was going to continue pushing forward to make that happen. The two were still locked in a grip for several seconds before Kirishima was the first to get the upper hand.

He pushed, slowly but steadily, hard on the Batter's hand. It was a struggle to maintain this lead, so Kirishima put his all into it to make the Batter's hand touch the table first. Maybe the Batter was the kind of person to have reserve strength, or maybe the Batter was starting to get serious, but just before his hand touched the table, he managed to hold Kirishima off.

Not only that, but now the mysterious Batter was pushing back on Kirishima's hand, and Kirishima felt his arm turning back to their starting position. Even further, as now the Batter had the upper hand. Kirishima was surprised at this sudden turn of events, but he still didn't want to give up. Although it wasn't true, he felt like his pride as an escort was at stake here.

Kirishima just managed to stop the Batter from slamming his hand down on the table, pushing back hard until the returned to their starting position. A whole minute had passed since the start of the match, with neither willing to budge. Kirishima was thoroughly impressed with this person. They continued pushing back on each other's hand, neither of them faltering.

It was the table, in fact, that gave up before either of them did, collapsing under the immense pressure the two were exerting on it's surface. This came as a surprise to everyone, and both the Batter and Kirishima looked down in shock. A silence filled the room.

"Woah, awesome!" Hirahara yelled out first, raising his hand. "Me next! I want to go next!"

"Not before we do something about this mess..." Saeki insisted, looking around for a broom. "You two really proved yourselves very strong." Kirishima agreed, looking back down at his arm that felt sore after exerting so much force just now. He thought to himself that it was actually pretty fun to compete like that. Kirishima had to give the mysterious Batter some credit. He was very tough indeed.

[uci-fanfic-requests]

Can I please ask for something with Tanizaki and Tagami after they’d just met and don’t know each other well yet? Tanizaki thinks the other is slacking off (he’s not wrong) so he tries to get Tagami to put in some effort. The first time he does, Tagami just gives him The Look and walks away to sleep somewhere else, saying nothing. The next time Tagami actually does what he was asked for, but in a way that makes Tanizaki regret even asking in the first place (nothing of serious consequences, just a big annoyance – think something like asking someone to paint the bathroom walls, you expect white, you find the walls painted bright neon orange). After several such occurrences Tanizaki eventually gives up, and when the two are assigned on their first mission together, he expects he will have to do all the work alone – only to his surprise this time Tagami actually does exactly what’s needed, and fast, and before Tanizaki can even act, then says he wanted to get back to sleep ASAP and leaves, Tanizaki all like “ಠ_ಠ what just happened”. Woah, that’s long ._. thank you if you decide to write this!

I'm back for a limited time, here to fill out more requests! Malicious compliance until you get the job done should be Tagami's motto from now on. -Admin Hirahara

Tanizaki's first impression for Tagami was not a good one. Tanizaki was coming back from a mission when he was tripped by someone lying in the hallway. Some new guy was just sleeping there, an inconvenience for anyone trying to get to Rokkaku's office. Tanizaki couldn't even reprimand the man because he seemed to ignore everything Tanizaki had to say. Later that same day, Rokkaku introduced the two to each other.

"I hope you'll be able to guide Tagami for a while," Rokkaku gestured. "I'd like for him to get accustomed to the manor." Tanizaki saluted Rokkaku, eager to complete the task given to him. Tagami looked like he couldn't care less.

Tanizaki was very thorough in his tour of the manor. The sooner Tagami got familiarized with the place, the better it would be. It can't be allowed to let him just sleep on the floor anymore. At least, that was Tanizaki's plan in the beginning.

"And Tagami, this is the dining area, where you can eat-" Tanizaki turned to see if Tagami was paying attention, only to find that he was gone from his side. "HAH?" When did that guy disappear? Tanizaki looked around back the way he came, only to find Tagami laying on the couch in the break room, already sleeping.

"Unacceptable!" Tanizaki yelled, slamming his foot down. "Wake up, Tagami!" At first, Tagami didn't stir, but when Tanizaki practically lifted the couch to throw Tagami off, he finally glanced over.

"Ugh..." Tagami groaned, sitting up and hopping off the couch. "You're so loud."

"We're in the middle of going over the rooms in the manor," Tanizaki stated. "You can't just sleep wherever you want!" Tagami gave Tanizaki what could only be described as a malicious looks, only to groan and start walking away.

"Yeah yeah, okay whatever, I'm going to find a place I can sleep." Tagami started walking off before Tanizaki had a chance to process what happened. Did he just get blown off? The nerve of this new guy. Tanizaki absolutely would not stand for this, how could someone be so lazy?

"If you have time to sleep, then you have time to train!" Tanizaki grabbed Tagami by the back of the collar. "This is a good opportunity. If you're going to work here, you have to prove your strength." Tanizaki wanted to test this guy's skill. If he was just a lazy good for nothing, he couldn't wrap his head around why Rokkaku had any faith in him.

Tagami didn't put up much of a struggle as he was literally dragged off to the training room. Tanizaki figured it meant that Tagami was actually willing to give it some genuine effort. He tossed Tagami across from him, taking a fighting stance.

"Tagami, we take pride in our strength," Tanizaki stated. "We're going to duel now, so show me your spirit." Tagami stood back up, still giving Tanizaki the same glare from before, but then just shrugged.

"Whatever you say..." Tagami rolled his eyes. Good, at least he was willing to put in some effort. With that, Tanizaki came at Tagami fast, ready to strike him with one punch to the face. Just before Tanizaki made contact, though, Tagami suddenly put his hands up and yelled loudly, "Okay I give. You win." With that, he flopped onto the floor.

Tanizaki was truly baffled by this. Tagami just admitted defeat before they even started? "Unacceptable!" Tanizaki hissed, grabbing Tagami's collar. "This is training! Take it seriously!"

"I seriously give up," Tagami huffed, still holding his hands up. "There, I showed you my spirit, so let me go to sleep." Tanizaki felt like his words got twisted, but there really wasn't anything he could do. Was this really the spirit of someone who could be called an Underworld Escort? It was pathetic. He wanted to yell and lecture Tagami again, but based on his experience earlier in the day, he knew it was just going to go in one ear and out the other.

Tanizaki let Tagami go after that. What more could he really do, at this point? He didn't want to start a meaningless fight with a newcomer and then get in trouble. As Tagami walked away, Tanizaki clenched his fist and grit his teeth. Damn, that guy...

Their relationship didn't get much better, after that. Tagami would always somehow get out of doing something Tanizaki asked of him. Tagami cleaned up his room, sure, but now there was a huge pile of junk in the corner. Tagami didn't fall asleep at the dining table anymore, but he also started eating elsewhere. He swept the break room once, only for Tanizaki to find all the dirt under the couch when it was moved. Tanizaki finally had to give up trying to ask Tagami to do anything - his compliance was worse than just not doing anything.

---

"Tanizaki, I'm assigning you to a mission," Rokkaku stated, handing Tanizaki some papers. "There's a break in the boundary between the two worlds that I'd like investigated and sealed as soon as possible." Tanizaki read over the file - it was a very tedious task that involved locating a break in the barrier, returning people who have accidentally crossed over, and sealing it back up.

"Yes sir!" Tanizaki answered, after finishing his reading. "I'll ensure that this gap is closed."

"Good," Rokkaku nodded, "I already sent Tagami out to do some recon, so make sure you meet up with him later." Not that guy... Tanizaki held himself back from arguing. Tagami never listened to him at the manor, so he couldn't expect Tagami to actually listen to him during a mission. But it was Rokkaku's orders, so...

"Yes sir." Tanizaki bowed and headed off to the marked location on the map. As he hurried to the spot of the assumed barrier break, he wondered what he should do about Tagami. Maybe he should just let that guy sleep somewhere discrete and do the searching himself. It'd be bad if any humans saw him so he would have to make sure Tagami didn't sleep in an inconvenient spot. What was he, Tagami's babysitter?

As expected, upon arrival, Tanizaki saw Tagami laying on the ground with his hat over his eyes. He must have been sleeping like that for a while, given that some leaves were already starting to cover him.

"TAGAMI!" Tanizaki shouted in his booming voice. "You're slacking off again!" Tagami, barely moved by Tanizaki's loud voice, only slowly removed the hat to glare up at him.

"So loud..." he mumbled, slowly sitting up. He looked between Tanizaki, then towards a road in front of them. "That's where the boundary has crossed." Tanizaki was about to yell again at Tagami before he processed what Tagami said.

"...Huh?" He asked, looking down the path. Tagami let out an exhausted sign as he stood up.

"Like I said, the barrier broke down this path, so this is where the boundary has crossed." He walked over and patted Tanizaki on the shoulder. "I already investigated the area, found the break, escorted all the humans back to the living world, and stopped some yokai from going into the human world. I'll leave the sealing to you."

Tanizaki was legitimately very surprised. Tagami never seemed like the type to work hard, and Tanizaki had prepared himself to do all the work while Tagami slept. He stood there, somewhat dumbfounded.

"Tagami..." He started, his mouth still agape. "If you're able to work this hard, why don't you do it more often?"

"Hah..." Tagami thought for a moment before shrugging it off. "The faster the mission is done, the sooner I can go back to sleeping in the manor." With that, he was already walking off, giving Tanizaki a wave. "I'm going back now, since you're here. Hurry and seal the barrier."

Tanizaki couldn't tell if he was glad Tagami pulled his weight, or upset that Tagami only did so in order to slack off later. "That guy..." Tanizaki huffed, rubbing his temple. Tagami frustrated Tanizaki to no end.

[uci-fanfic-requests]

Post-pacifist route. Frisk from Undertale once again fell into the UNDER—world Capital? As of now, they're currently being taken care of by The Underworld Escorts.

And in the process, Frisk befriends Kirishima!

(May I? 😭)

You know what's funny? There's a genocide route Undertale fanfic from a really long time ago here too, so I guess we're covering all our basis. -Admin Hirahara

"...So," Rokkaku stared at the child currently sitting in the break room drinking a cup of juice. They didn't say a word to Rokkaku, but looked up at him with a hint of curiosity. "Saitou, do you want to explain where this child came from?"

"Certainly, captain," Saitou said in a rather chipper voice. "You see, I was making my way back from the Licorice General Hospital when this child fell on top of me. Since I had no idea where they came from and what they are doing, nor has this child said a word to me, I decided to bring them back here so someone could keep an eye on them while I figure out where this child goes."

Although Rokkaku understood the words Saitou was saying, it still sounded crazy.

"Saitou. That's kidnapping," Rokkaku said in a matter of fact tone.

"Not if you return the child unharmed," Saitou replied. There was really nothing Rokkaku could do to argue with that. It was true that it would be better to bring the child along rather than leave them out in the underworld, and honestly, the safest place for a human child in the underworld really would've been the escort manor.

"Well... alright," Rokkaku nodded, finally breaking eye contact with the child. It was then that Kirishima passed by. "Oh Kirishima, good timing." Rokkaku pointed at the child. "Your next assignment is to look after this child and make sure they don't get into any trouble while Saitou and I figure out where they are supposed to go." Kirishima, who had never once turned down an assignment, nodded.

"Yes sir." With that, Rokkaku left Kirishima alone with the child, who finally finished their juice box. Kirishima was never the best with kids, so he wasn't really sure what to do now that the child wasn't distracted by their snacks. They both stared at each other in silence, but Kirishima could tell the child was already bored. They couldn't just keep staring at each other like this. Kirishima had to think of something for the child to do.

"I know," Kirishima said, holding out his hand. "I'll show you around the manor. Come along." The child hopped off the couch and took Kirishima's hand. The two left the break room, Kirishima pointing at random things while they walked. "That's Rokkaku's office, he and Saitou are going to figure out where to return you to. That's the stairs. Our rooms are up there. Back there is the training room."

At the mention of "training room", the child seemed to perk up. Kirishima understood that this child probably wanted to see what was inside. They passed by the back yard as they walked down the hall to the training room, both observing Hirahara trying to catch a butterfly while Matsumoto read from a book.

"Hi-Hi-Hirahara, don't smack it or it's wings will break," Matsumoto explained. "We won't be able to research it if that happens." Hirahara, although he said he understood, just laughed and continued trying to slap the butterfly out of the air. The child seemed rather interested in what Hirahara was doing, so Kirishima gestured.

"Do you want to try?" The child eagerly nodded their head, letting go of Kirishima' hand and hurrying outside. They pulled a stick from their pocket and started going for the butterfly. Hirahara seemed completely unbothered by the appearance of a child, only laughing harder.

"Hey, hey, you wanna help?" Hirahara asked. "Okay, you gotta really get this butterfly!" Matsumoto glanced up, confused to see a new person now also trying to catch the butterfly, but Kirishima caught him up on the situation right away. They watched as the child and Hirahara ran around with the stick, trying to smack the butterfly out of the air. Eventually, the child tired themself out, plopping on the ground.

In that moment, the butterfly landed on their head. "Ah!" Matsumoto exclaimed, quickly running over with a jar and easily trapping the butterfly within. "Thank you, now I can continue my research." Matsumoto patted the child on the head. "G-good job." It was like watching sparkles bounce off the child when they were praised. They looked back at Kirishima, a rather excited expression on their face. He gave the child a thumbs up before holding out his hand again.

The two said goodbye to Matsumoto and Hirahara, the latter only now realizing he had no idea who that child was or the situation. When Kirishima and the child got close to the training room, they could hear someone inside. As expected, Tanizaki was busy swinging his kanabo.

"Kirishima, good timing," Tanizaki stopped upon seeing Kirishima peek in. "Train with me."

"I can't today," Kirishima said, presenting the child to Tanizaki. "I've been assigned to look after this child by Rokkaku." The child, seeing Tanizaki's weapon, looked at it with wonder. They didn't bother the formalities before trying to reach for it.

"Wh-" Tanizaki started, about to yell at the child. However, maybe because Rokkaku had asked for the child to be taken care of, he stopped himself. "This is really heavy. Kids aren't supposed to touch things like this." Even though he said this, the child still tried to hold Tanizaki's kanabo.

Kirishima decided he should intervene. "How about you hold my sword instead?" Kirishima offered, showing it to the child, still sheathed. The child equally looked excited about holding the sword, standing there trying to look cool. Kirishima and Tanizaki exchanged a look.

"You look strong," Kirishima clapped, even though it was a clear lie. The child was clearly struggling with the sword.

"Hey kid," Tanizaki said, pointing at Kirishima. "You want to watch how that sword is used?" The child nodded immediately. "Okay perfect. Kirishima." Tanizaki took the sword from the child, tossing it back to Kirishima. "One battle." Kirishima really couldn't refuse if the child was so eager to watch. He agreed, drawing his blade.

"One battle," Kirishima repeated. Immediately, the two went at it. The child, despite how close they were to possibly getting cut or smashed, was honestly handling the sight very well. They clapped whenever Kirishima blocked a strike or made an advance forward. It kind of made it seem like the child was used to dangerous situations, or something.

The battle ended in a draw, mostly because after a few minutes, the child was starting to look bored again. Kirishima held his hand up before Tanizaki could strike again. "I have to go," Kirishima stated, immediately putting his sword away. He went back to the child, offering his hand. "Was that fun?" The child nodded and clapped for both Kirishima and Tanizaki before taking Kirishima's hand again. They said goodbye to Tanizaki before walking off again.

At this point, the child's stomach growled, and so did Kirishima's. The two exchanged a knowing look. It was time for lunch. Kirishima led the child to the dining room, where Kirika was happily humming.

"Oh Kirishima, hello!" She lit up as she locked eyes with the child. "And hello, little round one!" The child waved back, not showing any fear despite seeing Kirika's snake tail. "Are you two both hungry? Let auntie cook you something delicious!" Kirika didn't hesitate to make her way back to the kitchen. Soon, the dining room filled with a delicious smell.

Kirishima and the child sat next to each other, neither of them saying much. The child looked around the dining room, pointing at things they seemed interested in. Kirishima named them as the child pointed. It didn't take long for Kirika to return from the kitchen with a tray for Kirishima, and a kids meal for the child.

"Eat up, Auntie did her very best!" Kirika smiled, patting the child on the head before sitting across from them. The child looked down at their meal, an omelette with a flag sticking up at the top. They immediately dug their spoon into the soft egg, shoving the as big of a bite as they could handle into their mouth. Their cheeks filled like a chipmunk as they ate.

"Aw, how cute!" Kirika grinned. Kirishima had to agree, something about the way this child ate was very cute. They finished their lunch in silence with only Kirika sometimes saying "It's good, right?" or "I'm glad you like it."

Nearing the end of their meal, Saitou came into the dining room. "Oh Kirishima, there's the child," Saitou smiled. "It seems like I figured out where this child came from. I'll go guide them home, so thank you for your hard work." Kirishima nodded, looking back at the child.

"Good for you," he offered with a thumbs up. The child gave a thumbs up in return. Something about that gesture was very heart-warming. once Kirishima helped the child get cleaned up after the meal, he set them off with Saitou, who very easily picked the child up. Kirishima waved goodbye, and got a wave back in return.

It would be nice if Kirishima could see that child again some day. That's what Kirishima was thinking. But maybe it was better not to. If the child found their way to the Underworld again, it could be dangerous. Still, Kirishima couldn't help but think the child was a good kid, so he hoped them the best as he watched them and Saitou walk away.

[uci-fanfic-requests]

HEY HEY- I ACCIDENTALLY SENT MY PROMPTS TO "SUBMITING FANFICS" PART HAHAHA like i said IM NEW TO TUMBLR AND IM NOT SURE HOW THINGS WORK HERE! SO IM SO SORRY- anyways dont mind THATTT i originally asked if you could do a demon slayer crossover where Kirishima could use breathing styles, its weird but i kinda want to see how the other escorts would react, ANYWAYS- IM STILL SO SORRY FOR ACCIDENTALLY SENDING MY PROMPTS TO THE FANFIC SUBMITION PART!

Don't worry about it! Since you resubmitted it as an ask, I'll be answering here. We have a fanfic where the escorts meet a Hashira, so it certainly would be interesting to see Kirishima using breaths! -Admin Hirahara

When Kinoshita was returning from a mission, he noticed that Kirishima was swinging his sword wildly in the backyard. For Kirishima, it was normal to see him doing training with his weapon, but something about the way he was swinging seemed off from his usual movements. Kirishima was always good at striking with speed in a swift movement, but today, it kind of looked like he was going for something a bit more flashy. It kind of looked like he was trying to channel some kind of invisible power into his sword, and he was breathing deeply a lot.

It was actually kind of distracting, and Kinoshita found himself watching for quite some time. Sometimes Kirishima would suddenly dash forward, bringing his blade up, and sometimes he would try striking forward without moving. Sometimes he would take a running start before jumping up and slashing down, and sometimes he would start low and aim up with the tip of his blade. All the while, he continued inhaling deeply and exhaling loudly.

Kirishima, ever so focused in his training, clearly didn't notice Kinoshita. Not, at least, until he mis-stepped and fell over onto his back, staring directly up at Kinoshita.

"Oh, welcome back," Kirishima greeted while getting up again.

"Good work," Kinoshita greeted with a nod. "What are you doing, Kirishima?"

"Training," Kirishima answered right away, dusting himself off and picking up his sword again. "Recently, I escorted a deceased one who said he was really good with swords too."

"Is that so," Kinoshita asked, showing a bit of interest.

"That's right," Kirishima stated, taking a deep breath again. "He said his style was called 'moon breathing' style. At first, I thought it meant that he could breathe in space, but I was wrong." Again, Kirishima attempted to strike forward, slashing while he exhaled. He looked dissatisfied with the result, even though Kinoshita couldn't tell what went wrong. "Actually, the way his movements were, it made the way his swung his sword resemble a crescent moon."

Kinoshita finally understood that Kirishima was trying to imitate something he saw. If must have been quite a feat for Kirishima to be so focused on recreating it.

"Did he show you some of his movements?" Kinoshita asked, properly sitting down to focus on helping Kirishima.

Kirishima gave a nod, focusing forward. "Breathing techniques are very interesting. It requires focus on controlled breaths and motions to carry out precise attacks. By controlling breathing, one can control their heart rate and motions. I think it would be good to learn for future missions." Kirishima demonstrated the two separately, first by breathing in and closing his eyes. Then, when he opened his eyes again, he struck his sword forward, although nothing of particular interest happened.

"So you seem to have a good idea on how to do it," Kinoshita pointed out, "but the problem is that you can't combine the two, is that right?"

"Yes, that is the problem," Kirishima admitted. "While I understand how to breath, and I understand how to move, I don't understand what the difference in our movements are." Kinoshita gave it some serious thought as well. So a deceased one, who was once human, probably used this sword technique before. What was it that this human was doing that might be different from Kirishima?

"Oh." Kinoshita suddenly realized. "I've got it." Kirishima looked over at him, curious at the conclusion Kinoshita came to. "Humans, who are weak and fragile at times, still do what they can to survive. In terms of battles, it would be inconvenient if your body gave out on you at a critical moment, right?" Kirishima nodded. "Right, so humans must have come up with this breathing style in order to control their own movements. That way, even if they are exhausted, they can still push forward."

Kirishima nodded at the explanation, so he must have agreed. He looked down at his sword, a bit down. "Since we're oni, I suppose that means no matter how much I try, I won't be able to achieve something created by humans." Since Kirishima looked somewhat sad about it, Kinoshita decided to give this 'technique' some more thought.

Humans made this for using a weapon, so they did it to make themselves stronger in battle. Perhaps the point of the technique wasn't to control their own bodies, but to make their bodies push past what it was normally capable of. If that was the case, it could be applied to oni as well.

"Kirishima, since humans try to push themselves past their limits, why don't you try as well? If you sense the limitations within yourself, maybe you'll be able to surpass them by focusing on your breathing." Kirishima gave it some serious thought before nodding, closing his eyes again.

For a while, it was very quiet. Kinoshita could hear from Kirishima's rhythmic breathing that he was trying to open his lungs as much as possible. Kirishima's grip tightened around the sword, and once he opened his eyes and slashed forward, Kinoshita witnessed a crescent moon like strike. It truly was a sight to behold. Kirishima, looking surprised at himself, turned to Kinoshita.

"That was it," Kirishima stated, appearing proud of himself. Kinoshita clapped for him.

"Good work," Kinoshita acknowledged. "I'm sure if you practiced more, it would come more naturally." With that, Kinoshita turned to go to hand in his report, but a lingering question was on his mind. With a technique like this, it was reasonable to assume that many lives were taken because of it. "Kirishima, you said the deceased one you escorted taught you this?"

"Right," Kirishima nodded. "Although he may have been the hero type when he lived among humans, he actually committed many atrocities over the years after becoming a deceased one. The Court of Enma asked that he be judged and punished for it."

"I see," Kinoshita nodded, his suspicions confirmed. There was nothing more to be done about it, though. Sometimes humans pushed themselves over their limits too much and committed crimes once they passed on. It was a pretty regular occurrence, actually. But Kinoshita gave this no more thought. He had his own report to turn in, after all.

[uci-fanfic-requests]

How about a fic where Tanizaki works himself too hard during training and faints during a mission brief? The escorts can help him recover and Rokkaku can impart some words of wisdom about not pushing oneself too hard.

Tanizaki does seem like the kind to work himself to death. I bet he experiences burnout but then just lays in bed wondering what happened. Then he goes to do muscle training or something. -Admin Hirahara

"...Does someone want to explain to me why Tanizaki is laying face down on the floor right now?" Rokkaku asked upon entering the break room and seeing one of his most diligent escorts unable to move. It sounded like he was mumbling to himself, still, so at least he was conscious. The others looked somewhat worried, and somewhat curious about the situation. Kirishima was the first to raise his hand.

"Sir, I can answer that question," Kirishima pointed to Tanizaki as he spoke. "Tanizaki just returned from his last mission, completed the paperwork, and fell over when he got up to hand it to you."

"It's my fault," Saeki apologized sincerely. "He seemed tired after the mission, but I asked him to do the paperwork and he must have pushed himself too hard."

"Actually, it's Hirahara's fault," Tagami chimed in, immediately casting blame. "He messed up on his mission so Tanizaki had to be sent out right away. He didn't get a break between helping Hirahara and his last mission, sir."

"WHAT!" Hirahara yelled, immediately defensive. "Tagami, you slacked off before that and Tanizaki had to go help you too! It's not just me!" Rokkaku did sort of remember Tanizaki being available to help Tagami earlier that week, and then assigning him to Hirahara right afterwards due to the emergency of the situation.

"He went on his last mission because he was the only one available in the manor, right?" Kinoshita added. "I saw him when I was coming back, he had extreme dark circles under his eyes." It could be like that, in the special divisions branch sometimes. There were always going to be emergencies coming up, or tasks that needed to be done right away. Rokkaku did feel somewhat bad for having Tanizaki take on so many tasks at once, though.

"Alright," Rokkaku crossed his arms, "Tanizaki's worked quite hard. His mission is to get some rest now. Why don't you all help him recover?" The escorts all responded with a yes sir!, satisfying Rokkaku. He left them to sort things out, and once Tanizaki was feeling better, Rokkaku would have a proper talk with him.

---

Kinoshita was the first to try something for Tanizaki. "You know, sometimes when you drink alcohol, your body relaxes." He produced a bottle of sake and tried to pour it in Tanizaki's mouth. "Tanizaki, open your mouth so you can drink it." Unfortunately, it looked more like Kinoshita was choking Tanizaki since he refused to drink the alcohol.

"I don't think that's working..." Saeki quickly spoke up. "I heard that putting cold compress on a sore body can help with recovery, though! Let's give that a shot." It wasn't all that hard for the escorts to locate Matsumoto's first aid box and the cold compresses within. Unfortunately, no one had any idea where they should be applying them.

Hirahara, who thought it was like a sticker game, just started slapping them on Tanizaki willy nilly, which was probably making things worse. "Hahaha! Does that feel better?" Hirahara laughed at his handiwork. If it wasn't for the fact that he slapped the compresses over Tanizaki's clothes, it might have actually helped a little.

"That's not how you use those, you idiot," Tagami rolled his eyes. "Obviously, Tanizaki needs to sleep this off." Tagami leaned closer to Tanizaki's face. "Oi. Go to sleep." But Tanizaki just couldn't do it. It was like he was hard wired to stay awake until the work was done, but too tired to move at all.

It was then that Kirishima came back in the room with a tray of food. "Tanizaki, eating a good meal helps with recovery. Kirika made this just for you, so eat up." As he said this, Kirishima started feeding Tanizaki the food on the tray. While maybe Tanizaki was eating some of it, it was just making a mess all over his face.

These guys... Tanizaki thought angrily. Even if he was trying to rest like Rokkaku said, their support was just hindering him. He finally couldn't take it when Hirahara tried to also pour tea on Tanizaki because it would 'wake him up better'. "KNOCK IT OFF ALREADY!" He yelled, sitting straight up and fighting the fatigue in his body.

"This isn't working," Tanizaki hissed, pushing past the other escorts. "I'm just going to go present my report to Rokkaku."

"Oh, Tanizaki," Rokkaku glanced up from his desk when Tanizaki entered his office. "You made a fast recovery." Tanizaki stiffened but nodded, handing in his paperwork.

"Yes sir, I am recovered now." Although Tanizaki said this, Rokkaku could tell that he actually didn't rest at all. That's what Tanizaki was like, though. He was straight forward and hard working, so it might be hard to convince him to relax.

"Listen, Tanizaki," Rokkaku sighed. "It's always good to work hard when you are assigned a task. But all the same, it's also important to rest. Otherwise, your body won't recover enough for you to complete the next task. Does that make sense?" Tanizaki gave it some serious thought, then nodded.

"Yes sir," Tanizaki stated. "Without a recovered body, then I can't work hard on the next mission." Rokkaku smiled, agreeing.

"So what are you going to go do now?" Rokkaku asked.

"I'm going... to go take a nap." Tanizaki admitted, bowing before he left. At least he understood, Rokkaku thought, leaning back in his chair. He hoped Tanizaki would take a proper nap. After all, he always worked so hard.

[uci-fanfic-requests]

Could I ask for a crossover with zombieland saga? Like, Rokkaku bringing back the escorts as zombies to preform as idols.

“You’ll all become zombie idols and save the Underworld Capital!!” I’ve waited for this prompt to arrive my whole writing fanfiction life. -Admin Hirahara

“So, to recap, you’ll all be doing a flash mob in front of Karatsu Station, so make sure you get your choreography together by then!” While the instructions Rokkaku was giving were very clear, for Kirishima, it was still confusing to wrap his head around the situation that he and his fellow idols were all zombies, brought back with the purpose of ‘saving Saga’. Whatever that meant. In fact, it only felt like a few days ago that he learned he was hit by a truck on his way to an audition and suddenly brought back years later. But he wasn’t someone to linger too much on things he couldn’t change, and it did sound like Rokkaku was going on about something very important.

“Why are we having a flash mob again?” Kinoshita asked with his hand raised. Although Kinoshita was the oldest (read: dead longest) of the zombies, he adapted to modern day concepts pretty easily. And he always brought up very important questions that could be overlooked.

“Like I said, it’s to promote you all upon your debut.” Rokkaku clarified, although his answer still had a lot of holes. That was one of Rokkaku’s downfalls, in Kirishima’s opinion. He never really explained anything thoroughly and left everyone confused.

“How do we promote ourselves if we don’t even have a group name?” Tagami asked sarcastically. 

“You know, that’s a good point,” Rokkaku admitted. “Alright, just make sure to come up with a group name before your flash mob appearance, and we shouldn’t have any problems.”

“Aren’t you going to help, Rokkaku?” Tanizaki asked, also with his hand raised. Rokkaku just shook his head. Apparently, he had a lot of equipment management that he needed to do in order to prepare for this “spontaneous” event. It sounded kind of tough, and honestly Kirishima was just glad that he didn’t have to help with something he didn’t know anything about. Technology could really change in 10 years.

So with that, the zombie idols found themselves in the dance hall, not practicing any routine, but sitting in a circle in deep thought. Coming up with a name really wasn’t an easy task. A lot of them didn’t really have any experience with this kind of thing.

“Hey, Saeki,” Kinoshita perked up, “you were in an idol group before this. What was the name of that group?”

“You mean Iron Frill?” Saeki asked, looking a bit sour. “We were at a big company, so we didn’t have to worry about picking our own name.” Unfortunately, the seven zombies didn’t think Rokkaku was going to offer much help there.

“So then! It should fall on the leader to come up with a name!” Hirahara immediately chipped in, standing up. “And I’m gonna be the leader!” Surprisingly, no one objected. Maybe because everyone was still in the mindset that this whole ‘zombie idols to save Saga’ wasn’t going to go anywhere.

“Alright, then, Number 2,” Kirishima chimed in, “what should our group name be?”

“I have no idea!” Hirahara proclaimed proudly. “I wasn’t thinking about it at all! I just want to be first!” Ironic, considering his member name.

“U-um...” Matsumoto finally chimed in, probably overcoming his nerves. “Shouldn’t we come up with a name that really represents ourselves?” He certainly had a point, there. But what exactly could represent a group of zombie idols?

“Something like the ‘Idols from Hell’?” Tagami offered, though no one was sure if he was kidding or not. That seemed a bit on the nose, considering everyone was a zombie and all.

“I think that might scare people away,” Kinoshita chuckled. “But I like where you’re going with that.” Hirahara must have agreed, because he was already getting out the marker to write the idea down. Granted, however, he wrote it wrong.

“Hirahara, you can’t just write ‘goku’ in hiragana if you don’t know how to write it,” Saeki scolded. He started erasing the letters from the board, only to stop. “Hm... ‘goku’... It kind of has a nice ring to it, though.”

“Doesn’t it?” Hirahara exclaimed proudly, as if it was his idea. “Yeah! Let’s use that!”

“Just ‘goku’ sounds kind of lame,” Tanizaki finally added. He’d been sitting most of the conversation out, but now it finally seemed like he was willing to offer some help. “Maybe it should be ‘goku’-something.” He was clearly deep in thought by the way his eyebrows knitted and his eyes closed. When his eyes did shoot open, he looked like he had a great idea. “Our outfits during the first performance we did looked kind of like soldier uniforms, right? So how about that: ‘sotsu’. Gokusotsu.”

“That does sound pretty cool,” Kirishima admitted. The look on everyone else’s faces seemed to agree. Hirahara was quick to write it all out, proudly looking at his handiwork.

“It looks pretty good,” Saeki agreed. “So then, it’s settled. We’ll be Gokusotsu from now on.” The positive energy was light, that is, until Tagami brought up an important point.

“So how exactly does this flash mob save Saga again?” No one had an answer to that. In fact, if they thought too hard about the whole situation, a lot of things didn’t actually make sense. But... maybe it was best not to ask for now, because Tagami’s follow up question seemed way more pressing. “So besides Saeki, do any of you actually know how to dance?”

[uci-fanfic-requests]

What about a demon slayer crossover?!?!? Particularly if the escorts end up meeting all 9 of the hashira!!! Do u think the hashira would try to fight/kill the escorts since they r technically demons 🤔

I couldn’t fit all 9 Hashira into a single fanfic (sorry) but I thought the absolute funniest one for them to run into would be Rengoku. So anyways, here’s a crossover where the escorts fight Rengoku, I guess. -Admin Hirahara

On his way to deal with some reported demons that were showing up on a train, Rengoku found himself in a confrontation he had never expected. There were two uniformed men standing before him, each with their own weapon. The icy blue eyed one was clearly hiding a rifle behind him, while the other violet eyed one carried a large club. The feeling Rengoku got from the two was other worldly, so there was only one conclusion: they were demons. However, the one thing Rengoku couldn’t understand was how the two of them were standing out in broad daylight. Weren’t demons supposed to burn up when they were in the sun? Could this be a new type of demon? He stayed guarded, his hand on the hilt of his blade.

“Tanizaki, I think we’re scaring him,” the icy eyed demon mumbled. He then turned to Rengoku and bowed - pretty polite for someone who surely had killed many people. “Sorry, we don’t mean to stop you. Not that many people can see us, anyways. We’re actually looking for the Mugen Train?” Rengoku shook any doubt he had upon hearing that name. He, too, was looking for that train. If these demons knew about it, then surely they were the things causing the problems. If that was the case, then he would act without hesitation.

“I’m Rengoku Kyojuro, the Flame Hashira,” Rengoku announced, taking his stance. “I don’t know how you demons are able to stay out in the day time, but rest assured, I’ll end this quickly for you.” With a deep breath, he drew his sword and ran at the two. “First Form: Unknowing Fire!” He went straight for the neck of the demon with the club. He needed to take out the close ranged attacker to prevent the long range attacker from getting a good shot.

Unsurprisingly, though, Rengoku found his attack blocked. What he wasn’t expecting was for the swing of the club to push him back so much it almost knocked him over. These are very strong demons.

“What’s the big idea? Attacking someone out of nowhere.” The violet eyed demon sounded pretty irritated.

“With strength like that, you must be one of the lower... no. One of the upper moons,” Rengoku acknowledged. Strange, though. He didn’t see their rank on their eyes.

“The hell are you talking about?” The violet eyed demon grunted. “We’re just here to deal with an incident.” You mean cause an incident, Rengoku wanted to say.

“Hold on!” The other demon quickly chimed in. “We don’t mean any harm-” Rengoku wasn’t about to let the demon finish his sentence, though. They could be tricky like that sometimes, trying to persuade people to feel sorry for them. Rengoku couldn’t let himself fall for that. A lot of demon slayers lost their lives because they were too naive.

“Third Form: Blazing Universe!” This time, Rengoku aimed for the man with the rifle. He seemed the weaker of the two. And he wasn’t wrong. His sword made contact with the man’s head, and he watched it roll clean off. “One down.”

“The hell!” The violet eyed demon exclaimed, wasting no time in attacking. He swung the club with brute strength, just barely missing Rengoku a few times. If I get hit by that, I’m dead for sure. Rengoku had to make sure to stay out of it’s way no matter what.

“Fourth Form: Blooming Flame Undulation!” Rengoku swung in a circle this time, trying to catch the demon off guard. But the demon was pretty smart. He jumped back just in time, the tip of the sword only nicking him on the knuckle. Rengoku was about to go into another form when he suddenly heard a gunshot. A bullet flew past his ear, causing him to stop for a moment. No way... But he was certain he decapitated that demon already. So how was it possible that the headless body was holding the rifle, and aiming it so well.

The shot was clearly a warning shot. And it really did catch Rengoku off guard. In that moment of pause, the demon with the club quickly picked up the decapitated head. “Oh dear, I’m going to have to go to the hospital after this...”

“What kind of demons are you?” Rengoku frowned, clearly impressed. They survived the sun, and now they survived getting their heads cut off. If there were more demons like then, the demon corp was doomed.

“We’re from the Underworld Branch,” the detached head stated, still trying to be polite. “Really, we don’t want to fight you. In fact, we’re trying to avoid humans all together. We got a report about something causing trouble to a train, and we were told to scout it out and report back.”

“Report back to who? Muzan?” Rengoku asked. “Sorry, I can’t let you do that! It’s my job to stop anything bad from happening to that train!”

“Who the hell is Muzan?” The violet eyed demon snarled. “You’re lucky we were told not to affect the humans around here. Otherwise I’d squash you for decapitating Saeki.” They don’t know who Muzan is? That had to be a trick. But the answer seemed so genuine that Rengoku wasn’t really sure how to take it. “Whatever,” the violet eyed demon clicked his tongue. “You said you were dealing with the train problem? Then we’re leaving.”

“Tanizaki, we didn’t do our job very well,” the icy eyed man reminded. However, the other demon just grabbed the decapitated body by the cape and started walking off.

“You’re headless right now. I’d rather get that fixed. We can report what we know and explain the situation to Rokkaku, and he’ll make the final decision.” Rengoku watched the two walk off, somewhat bewildered. They really weren’t like any demons he’d ever faced before. He’d have to make sure to report it back to headquarters. Of course, first he’d have to deal with the incidents occurring on the Mugen Train first.

[uci-fanfic-requests]

According to Rinnedou Hirahara is the strongest, not one of the strongest, of the escorts but Tanizaki is definitely the strongest looking of them all (or at least how I headcanon them) so how about a competition between Hirahara and Tanizaki to prove who is the strongest between the two!!!

At first, I was going to write you a classic fight scene. Then I thought… “You know what Hirahara probably actually does? He probably actually challenges Tanizaki to super mundane tasks”. - Admin Hirahara

“Hirahara, for the last time. Leave. Me. Alone!” Tanizaki groaned as he sped walked away from the ever bouncy and energetic Hirahara. The golden eyed escort had been bugging him all morning to ‘have a duel’ or something, and while normally Tanizaki was always up for training, he quickly learned that Hirahara didn’t actually want to have a practice fight.

“But come ooooon!” Hirahara whined, still following close behind Tanizaki. “I wanna know, between you and me, who can catch the tanuki in the yard!” What an absolutely baffling request. Tanizaki wanted none of it.

“Why does this even matter?” Tanizaki finally turned on his heel to glare Hirahara in his clueless eyes. “What could you possibly learn from this?”

“Which of us is stronger, of course!” Hirahara grinned. How exactly is this going to prove anything? Tanizaki wondered. Why couldn’t they just fight, like everyone else? But if that’s all Hirahara wanted, then maybe the sooner Tanizaki played along, the faster this would be over with. So without another word, Tanizaki stormed into the yard, ripped out an entire bush, slammed his hand down onto the first tanuki his hand touched, and threw it at Hirahara.

“Done.” Tanizaki hissed, marching right back inside. Hirahara didn’t look all that happy with the results.

“Wait, that was totally unfair!” Hirahara complained, tossing the tanuki to follow Tanizaki again. “I wasn’t ready! We have to do something else!”

“You’re kidding,” Tanizaki rolled his eyes. “Fine, what else do you want to do?” Surely the next thing wouldn’t take that long.

“Okay, whichever one of us can drink all of Matsumoto’s weird poison and is still standing wins!” Hirahara proudly exclaimed.

“Absolutely not.”

So then how Hirahara managed to drag Tanizaki all the way to the laboratory was baffling to Tanizaki himself. Geez, maybe Hirahara actually is stronger than me, the violet eyed escort thought. But he didn’t get a chance to say it out loud, because Hirahara was already downing Matsumoto’s poison while the concerned escort begged him to stop. Hirahara then spat it all back out and passed out, as expected.

“Well, that takes care of that,” Tanizaki sighed, planning to leave Hirahara with Matsumoto. However, not three steps later, Hirahara sat right back up.

“Eh? Wait! Tanizaki! You didn’t drink any of it!” Hirahara whined, immediately following Tanizaki again. “You gotta do one of these competitions correctly!”

I’m not stupid enough to actually drink poison, Tanizaki resisted saying. Instead, though, he just asked Hirahara what the next thing was. “But this is the last one,” Tanizaki warned. “If you waste any more of my day, I’m reporting you to Rokkaku.” Hirahara quickly nodded to that threat.

“Okay okay, then... the last competition is...” Hirahara seemed to be giving it some real thought. “Oh, I got it! Whichever one of us doesn’t fall asleep when we listen to Saitou read that really boring book wins!”

As insulting as it was to Saitou, it was more than easy for Tanizaki to win this. Saitou barely finished four pages before Hirahara knocked out, clearly finding no interest in what the vice captain was saying. How disrespectful... Tanizaki apologized in Hirahara’s place. Saitou didn’t really seem upset about it, only flicking Hirahara on the forehead to wake him up.

“Huh? What? Did I lose?” was Hirahara’s first words when his eyes opened.

“Yeah, you lost,” Tanizaki sighed.

“Oh darn it!” Hirahara exclaimed, grabbing Tanizaki and lifting him over his head.

“Wait wha-” Tanizaki didn’t have time to react before his body hit the ground from Hirahara’s throw. How the hell did he do that? There was definitely no arguing which of the two had more physical strength, in that moment.

“Okay Tanizaki, you win. You really are the stronger one between the two of us,” Hirahara huffed, admitting defeat. No, Tanizaki wanted to say, you’re definitely the stronger one...