#admin: naomi

[never-to-be-homeless]

It's NH again. I've typed up a message to send him, I'm going to have to do it online which I feel like might be kind of rude but I simply can't do it face to face... I think I'll send it before I go to work in the morning, so I can get on with work and be distracted for a few hours before I see his reply. I had a complete breakdown over this earlier, I feel so suicidal right now.

NH, if you feel this is best, then do it by message. You’re doing the right thing, and you’re going to be okay. It’ll be over soon, okay? Stay strong, and be safe. I’m here if you need me.Your angel, Gabriel

[never-to-be-homeless]

Ok so this is for anyone... call me NH. Does anyone have any advice on how to end a relationship? I have to do this, but I feel so bad about it... I never wanted this relationship though, even at the start. I went with it, I gave it a chance, and it didn't work. I've been wanting to end it and trying to end it for 3 and a half years but I've been too scared. I'm afraid I might hurt myself if I end it and cause him that pain. I'll hate myself so much. But I can't take this any longer.

Hey NH, Gabriel here.3 AND A HALF YEARS? Kiddo, get out of that. Any chance of you NOT hurting him and yourself went out of the window 3 or so years ago. Being in a relationship this long when you don’t want to be is unhealthy and unfair on your boyfriend. You’re gonna feel bad about it - that’s what break ups are about. They suck, and they hurt. People who like breaking up are assholes. You’re not an asshole. So be honest and end it now.Tell him you need to talk and don’t tiptoe around it. Sit him down, face to face, and say “I don’t want to be in this relationship anymore”. Tell him you’re sorry, but you’re just not happy and it’s not fair on him or you if you stay when you don’t want to. Give him your reasons - try not to be cruel but don’t lie either. You have to make it clear that it’s over. And you’re gonna feel terrible no matter what you say, but you have to be honest and blunt, at least to some degree.Listen, NH. It’s gonna suck. He’s gonna cry, you’re gonna cry, and you’ll feel miserable for a long time. But you have to do it, otherwise you’ll be miserable forever. So tell him, and go cold turkey. Afterwards you’re gonna feel shit and you’ll think you can just message him and chat but you won’t be able to. So let yourself heal; you’re gonna need some serious alone time after this. 

There is no easy way to do this, I’m afraid. All you can do is be honest and deal with the shitty feelings. That’s how it goes, unfortunately. But it isn’t fair on either of you for you to wait any longer, kid. So tell him now. There’s never a right time. Pull the bandaid off. I know it’s hard to believe - but you’re gonna be okay. Break ups aren’t the end on the world. He’ll be hurt but he’ll recover, as will you. Just be as honest and as gentle as you can and then leave him alone so he can sort out his feelings. If he tries to get a second chance don’t give it to him. You may feel lonely or think you made a mistake - after 3 ½ years, you haven’t. This is what you need, kid. So do it, cry, and then if you need to vent, we’re here to listen. Everything will be alright in the end, I promise ya. So good luck, and be brave. I’m here if you need me.Your angel, Gabriel.

[never-to-be-homeless]

Hi, am I able to speak with Gabriel?

Hi! Gabriel here! Sure thing kiddo! Can I get your name so I can find your messages easier?

[never-to-be-homeless]

I want to love and be loved in the truest way possible but is that even real? Do humans even have the capacity to love in the way they pretend to in books and shows and movies? Or is it all just a lie? I have no examples of true love in my life. My parents hate each other, my cousin cheated on his wife, my best friend is always complaining about how lazy her husband is. As childish as it sounds, there are celeb couples who I admire & if they break up then I'm done hoping - Kaya

Hello Kaya, Naomi here.Books and shows and movies are not real life. You won’t find Prince Charming, that cute boy in school won’t pick up your books for you if you drop them, and the stranger you walk into in the street tomorrow probably won’t be your soulmate. True love isn’t what’s described in stories. True love can happen with someone you break up with three weeks later. Love is tricky.Here is my advice to you: don’t use other people’s love as a measuring tool. They are not you. If they break up or not, that’s their problem. It has no effect on whether or not you will find the perfect person.I understand where you’re coming from, but you need to keep believing, okay? Because love is real, and you will find it. But you need to know that you may not always love the person you deserve, and you may not always be treated the way you want to be treated. Love isn’t constant laughing and cute gestures. Love is going to the movies and for dinner and it’s staying in and making a mess of the kitchen. Love is meaningful conversations at three in the morning and it’s a grumpy “morning” chucked in your direction on a monday. Love is laughing until you can’t breathe and love is having nothing to say anymore. Love is needing cuddles and love is needing your own space. Love changes every day and learning something new every day and love is never 100% certain. That’s why people get so upset about it. But just because some people can’t seem to find the right person doesn’t mean you won’t.You need to find someone who makes you happy, who you can talk with easily about anything, who you feel safe around and who makes you feel beautiful even when you’re in pajamas and haven’t brushed your hair in two days. If you can find someone who you can look at and honestly not mind seeing that face everyday until you die, then that’s love. And you may find it numerous times in your lifetime, or you may meet someone next week and that’ll be it. It all depends, Kaya. All you can do is make sure that your relationship is healthy and understand that there will be hard times every now and then.As for examples of true love: be your own example. You don’t need “proof”. Just keep believing, okay? It’ll come in time. You’ll know when you’ve found it.Your angel, Naomi.(Admin note: If you do need an example of true love, and I know this is lame, but, my parents have been together for 30 years now, and there has been times where I genuinly thought they’d divorce, but they made it through. My grandparents met when they were both 17 and they’ve been together 60+ years. Love is real, that I can promise you. But the love you will find is your own, unique. So whether or not Jensen Ackles breaks up with Daneel or not, that doesn’t matter (although I would bawl like a baby). You’re you, so set your standards, and do your thing, okay?)