adolescentcat replied to your post:this is hella random but how do british people...
huh i wonder if thats just an american media thing because i say it like “played” and so do a lot of the people i know irl. WEIRD
ah well there we go i am willing to believe that i am just uninformed on pronunciation in america. anyway, ‘plad’ is the dictionary-official pronunciation, if that’s of any interest?
hey dude happy birthday!!! i always thought it was super cool how u, conveniently have it like on new years so the new year for everyone else is conveniently also the new year for ur age. did that make sense? who knows its 5am. basically: i love u a lot and i hope u have a super good time and if not, i hope u have a super good time as soon as possible and that u find many new dogs to pet in 2016 and cute girls to look at. oh and cheesecake. i hope u eat as much cheesecake as ur heart desires
i have also always thought that convenient!! thank you so much my darling friend i also love you very much. i hope to consume a truly ungodly amount of cheesecake this year, like, there will be worldwide shortages because of my actions
nope, i was sleeping over with friends so i was in a pretty good mood!
4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?
this is literally my entire job in retail. but also i tend always to smile at strangers on the street, unless they look like they might be scary men, and then i try to avoid all eye contact
8. How often do you listen to music?
reasonably often but not all the time, it depends on what i’m doing. if i have to concentrate i can’t really listen to music because it distracts me, but as long as i’m not doing anything that requires high brain engagement, i like to be listening to music
15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?
yes it makes me very sad and i get very nervous at the idea
49. What are you supposed to be doing right now?
i guess this essay plan, but i’m taking a break, so what i’m supposed to be doing may, in fact, be ‘taking a break’. you need study breaks, you know
it is a truth universally acknowledged, that a lit student studying pride and prejudice, must be in want of a good plot summary
aka. i told @adolescentcat i’d write a summary of jane austen’s pride and prejudice to help them in class, but i thought i’d also post it here just to help out anyone else who may one day need this information
so, here’s what happens:
context
as an overview, p&p was first written in 1813, and set around the same time
this is Regency era England: we’re talking a brief span between the Georgians and the Victorians: everything’s in social upheaval; the landed gentry are panicking about the poor becoming richer; everyone’s still terrified about the French revolution; England have spent most of the past couple of decades dealing with the Napoleonic and Revolutionary wars; there aren’t enough marriageable young men to go around; the English have only just learnt to waltz; and things are a bit shit for women (oh, wait, that’s relevant to most historical contexts)
the book itself is about social propriety and the marriage market (more on this later), but it’s also quite satirical, and Austen’s definitely having a laugh at her own social class
main characters
the main characters in p&p are members of the landed gentry – that is to say, rich people who have been rich for generations, own big country estates, and don’t need to work. the Bennets are our main family. they’re rich, but they have five Big Problems: five unmarried daughters. oh, the horror
the Goal of the book (and of Mrs Bennet) is to get them all settled in happy hetero marriages. why? because that’s literally all women of this class can do in those days – they can’t work, so the only way they can ‘earn’ money is by marrying into it – marriage is an economic transaction. scholarly folk like to call this concept ‘marriage economy’
our five daughters, from oldest to youngest, are: Jane (literal cinnamon role, known for her kindness and beauty), Elizabeth/Lizzie (our main protagonist, sarcastic, and quick to judge (she contributes most of the ‘prejudice’ of the title)), Mary (clever, but boring and plain-looking), Catherine/Kitty (no real personality – does whatever Lydia tells her to), and Lydia (flirty and silly)
here’s a pic of them from the 2005 film:
1. Bingley and Darcy, or New Studs Arrive In Town
the girls and Mrs B are completely unsettled at the start of the book by the news that a rich new hottie has moved into Netherfield, a nearby estate. this is Mr Bingley. as the first line of the book says, “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife”: we all know that Mr Bingley’s on the market, and Mrs B will be damned if it’s not one of her girls he marries
the girls meet Bingley at a local ball and all think he’s rather swell. Jane and Bingley hit it off ‘straight’ away (get it? because they’re straight? haha). Elizabeth does not hit it off with Bingley’s main bro, Mr Darcy, who’s kind of an asshole and refuses to dance with her. this is, like, so rude in Austen novels
Jane goes to visit Bingley’s sister, Caroline, entirely as an excuse to get some of that Bingley eye candy. however, it rains, and she becomes very ill and has to stay at Netherfield. Elizabeth goes to help heal her with sisterly love, and has to spend a lot of time awkwardly socialising with Darcy. he turns out to be slightly less of an asshole than she first thought. slightly
2. Collins and Wickham, or How Many Straight Men Can You Fit In One Book?
once Jane and Elizabeth are safely back home, the Bennets receive a visit from Mr Collins, who is a clergyman, and a cousin of Mr Bennet. Collins is clearly here because he wants to marry one of the Bennet girls. because marrying your second cousins is totally, not gross, at all...
anyway, at first he wants to marry Jane, because (as i said) she’s a literal cinnamon roll, but because she’s already hot for Bingley, Collins decides to settle for Elizabeth. Elizabeth is Not Impressed
Elizabeth then meets yet another hottie, George Wickham. he’s one of the military officers who are staying in town, and whom Lydia and Kitty are absolutely giddy over. Elizabeth gets a bit of a crush on Wickham, but soon learns he has a Tragic Backstory: he used to be practically a second son to Darcy’s dad, but when Darcy’s dad died, Darcy refused to give him any money, and cast him out. so it looks like Darcy is an asshole, after all
Bingley then throws a ball at Netherfield, because he’s going back to London and wants one last wild night before they all have to part for a while
Elizabeth goes in the hope of flirting with Wickham, but he’s not there. instead, Darcy asks her to dance with him. plot twist! they dance, and Elizabeth uses the opportunity to make some snide comments about Wickham, and also to ask literally everyone she meets what they know about him. subtle, Elizabeth, subtle
in the meantime, the rest of the Bennet family (apart from cinnamon roll Jane) are awfully embarrassing and socially improper
the next day, Collins proposes to Elizabeth. she rejects him and it’s all very embarrassing. Mrs B is not happy with her at all
3. Jane's heartbreak, or Men Are Awful
Bingley leaves for London, as expected
not long after, it turns out that Elizabeth’s bestie, Charlotte Lucas, has now agreed to marry Collins. not only is she clearly not in love with him, on account of him being a Massive Loser (and her being a Massive Lesbian. that’s 100% the subtext here), but also it means she’ll have to move away and Elizabeth won’t get to see her much any more :(
to make matters worse, Jane receives a very bitchy series of letters from Bingley’s sister, who makes it clear that Bingley will not be returning to Netherfield any time soon, that he is totally going to marry Darcy’s little sister, and that Jane is not good enough for him
Jane, being so good and pure-hearted, resigns herself to be sad and single forever, but Elizabeth is very angry on her behalf. still, what can she do? in the end, Jane goes to stay with her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner in London, in the hopes that maybe she’ll bump into Bingley and change his mind
4. Elizabeth visits Charlotte, or Darcy Gets Horribly Rejected
Elizabeth goes to visit Charlotte and Collins in Kent. Collins’ patroness, Lady Catherine, just so happens to be Darcy’s aunt, and Darcy just so happens to be visiting her. Elizabeth and Darcy bump into one another, of course
Elizabeth then learns from Darcy’s cousin that Bingley was totes going to marry Jane, until Darcy stepped in and told him not to. thanks a fucking lot, asshole
at some point along the way, Darcy seems to have fallen in love with Elizabeth (well, who can blame him?), so now Darcy proposes
his proposal is... well... i don’t know how he expected it to go well, he basically just insults her family and says he wants to marry her against his better judgement. she says “no” because she has, you know, standards. she also accuses him of ruining the lives of both Jane and Wickham. here’s a great video:
Darcy later sends her a letter explaining that he did not purposefully ruin either life. Wickham did receive an inheritance, squandered it all, and then tried to elope with Darcy’s little sister for her money. also, Darcy thought Jane wasn’t in love with Bingley, and that Mrs B was just pushing her into marriage for Bingley’s money. he was just looking out for his bro, honest
5. Elizabeth visits Pemberley, or Oh No Darcy’s Hot
a month or so later, Elizabeth goes on holiday with her aunt and uncle, and they decide to visit Pemberley, which is Darcy’s estate. they don’t think he’s home, but it turns out that he is. he’s uncharacteristically polite to them, introduces Elizabeth to his little sister, and has them all over for dinner. Elizabeth begins to fall in love with him
6. Lydia’s disgrace, or Teenage Lust Ruins Everything
however, before she can get into any serious flirting, a letter arrives from Jane saying that Lydia has run off with Wickham. Elizabeth returns home and is very upset that a) Lydia has basically disgraced the whole family and b) now Darcy will stop liking her because of the whole disgrace thing
Mr Bennet and Uncle Gardiner go to track Lydia down
7. Happily ever after, or The Completion Of Various Economic/Marriage Transactions Which Always Seem To Be The Natural Conclusion Of Austen’s Novels
eventually, they find Lydia, and persuade Wickham to marry her. everyone’s convinced that Uncle Gardiner must have bribed Wickham, and wonder how they can ever repay him
however, it turns out that it was Darcy who tracked down Wickham and bribed him. that’s how you know he’s husband material
Bingley returns to Netherfield, and proposes to Jane
Lady Catherine then rocks up at the Bennet family home. she’s heard a (false) rumour that Elizabeth is engaged to Darcy, and wants to tell Elizabeth to back off, because Darcy should marry her daughter instead. Elizabeth politely tells Lady C to get fucked
off-page, Lady C goes to complain about this to Darcy. Darcy realises that this means he still has a chance with Elizabeth, and hurries over to propose to her again. this time, she accepts
2 add to the reeses debacle: altho i did say reeses were delicious i OBVIOUSLY know they are not a tru representation of how good chocolate can be. ofc there is that fancy ass german chocolate that tastes so good its comparable to a 5 star restaurant and feels like fine dining. but reeses r like ur fast food. of course, u kno, it aint the best. but its there when u need it. when ur on ur floor crying, reeses has got ur back. theyre there for u. 2 be the cheap candy that u need in ur life.
but if the cheap chocolate in england is better than reeses, which are also more expensive in england because they are imported, it seems to me like it would be in bad faith to spend my money on reeses
ok, but you also have, uh, very little evidence proving that you're NOT a vampire and that you totally weren't around in the middle ages. like c'mon now, CARMELLA? really dude? u couldnt've picked a less obvious name? that's like, one letter off from carmilla.
(sweats profusely) i don’t know what you’re talking abat... i mean about aBOUT
