#adrian wall

[breadbug159]

[stillthesunkenstars]

collection era

[cousin-quartz-of-house-paradox]

hm... thinking about how "the purpura pawn" (anthology: a life in pieces) marks the beginning of bev's second change in character. first one, of course, started after the fifth axis arc when brax decided to let her stay, gave her a home, started training her to be his utterly loyal capable violent right-hand woman (what else is sending her on missions she's not qualified for? obviously training, 'least that's how i read it) (my meta for the 'utterly loyal' bit here) (perfectly willing to get her hands dirty to benefit him/his collection, as seen in this short story, where she just decides to buy the purpura pawn from a black market dealer for the collection, and tricks adrian into going with her + drugs him unconscious when he figures out to prevent him from getting mad, though she misjudged him there a bit. like. come on.)

the second one i'm talking about starts in this short story. bev goes from "i'm a big girl, adrian, i can take care of myself" in the beginning when adrian offers, like, concern for her safety (in context of her going around and getting stuff for brax, illegally and dangerously) to letting herself be carried in adrian's arms to safety when shit has well and truly hit the fan, everything is burning, she's accidentally landed the both of them in the middle of some gang disputes and bloody revenge, and gotten themselves caught in the crossfire. they're both hurt badly. they're both fighting like crazy. but adrian cares, he cares to get her out of it, they're both bleeding heavily and all that but he's... helping. not just himself. no, he's helping the person who got him (the both of them, really) into this huge fucking mess in the first place.

and to me, this is really the beginning of bev letting herself be cared about rather than shouldering things herself. which turns out to be harmful for what brax's planned for her in the long run (though do note, that he didn't see it nor forbid it, did not really make any effort for her to stay isolated. but when benny hated her, he cemented himself as the person who trusted her on missions and with responsibilities, which obviously impacted their relationship/bev's view of him a lot. in fact, brax was the one who started sending her on these missions, benny's jealously came after. we can't really say whether it was intentional isolation, though it would be fun and fucked up if it was. i say that it sort of was, but brax definitely didn't have any bad intentions... to me he saw benny's reaction to him beginning to train her for her Role (in the story written by him) and... kept training her, saw that the enmity was happening and didn't do anything to stop it nor make it worse. just worked towards his goal.)

i mean, bev in parallel lives shooting ms jones and then going to brax about it speaks of unspeakable amounts of trust. again, from loyalty.

and this story, well, this proved that bev could trust and reach out to other people. which... was new to her. this obvious, conspicuous care. and everybody wants to be cared about, after all.

if not for this, what this story set into motion, maybe in short story "work in progress" (anthology: collected works) bev would not have believed jason. maybe she could never have broken out of that, out of misguided loyalty. never could have gained that agency. maybe she would have been defending brax's actions till the end, ever the loyal right-hand confidante, because in her eyes he would have been the only one to care for her in any way. and, of course, benny did care for her. they got over their rivalry. but i really doubt that bev would've been open to a "truce" if not for this story, if not for the initial break in her walls. if not for seeing than she can be cared for, can be loved for something other than what she can do for the person, something other than her use (remember, she was an employee of brax's in the end, no matter how much she felt that he'd given her a home. she got things for his collection, she was useful. one could argue that that was the reason she was kept around in the first place; she was insanely useful during the fifth axis occupation arc, only being there for a couple of weeks but willing to risk it all and lead the armed resistance. her potential for loyalty and how much she'd give/do for it was probably the thing that drove brax into keeping her there and seeing her usefulness for his plans, for deciding that there was a role that could easily be filled by her in the story he was trying to direct, given a bit of training.)

it showed her that she is a person who can be loved and deserves care despite her faults, despite the fact that she was the one who got them into the whole mess in the first place, despite the fact that she was, then, a liability. not an asset, not useful in the slightest, harmful, in fact. and despite it all adrian cared, he cared to get her to safety, to get them both to safety, though from bev's viewpoint that went against all logic. it broke that logic. it started to show bev that she could be cared for, that she could rely on her friends. that she had and deserved friends, close people; and later on, her own inner circle. not to be used and distantly 'cared about' like brax, but to be loved and trusted and depended upon. that is the most important point where she differs from brax. and that prevents her from going down his path, no matter how close she got to it. her loved ones called her out and pulled her away and she listened and worked on it, however many times it happened, because she loved them and valued what they had to say and believed that she could depend on them/their advice, et al.

that's bev. and i believe that this story sets her down this path, her own path.

[daughterofheartshaven]

I started going back and listening/reading through the Big Finish Bernice Summerfield series, and like wow okay wow it's so good I wasn't expecting it to be this good. Like Benny is such a great protagonist in that she really does not want to be the protagonist of a series and yet here we are! Also watching her try to be a good mother - and clearly want to be a mother! - while not really being the sort of person who is naturally gonna be a good mother is super interesting. And then there is Brax, who is really shaping up to be "what if we had someone who was a villain but clever enough that none of the protagonists from two separate series ever notice it," which is just so much fun to watch unfold. And we have all this really interesting contrast between Jason and Adrian.

Like. I just listened to The Mirror Effect and in it, Jason and Adrian are both trying to confront the fact that they both romance-love Benny and Benny does not romance-love either of them, and the villain convinces both of them that Benny is gonna pair up with the other one. Adrian accepts this and he just wants Benny to be happy and them all to get out alive. Meanwhile Jason snaps and tries to kill both Adrian and Benny, but he also picks up on a couple really important things about the villain and the situation that goes over Adrian's head. Really interesting stuff.

Anyway I'm now listening to the episode where Bev Tarrant joins the show and I loved her in her couple episodes with the Seventh Doctor so I'm super exited.

[bennyzine]

🪐 COVER REVEAL

We are so excited to finally reveal our zine's beautiful cover art, drawn by our head mod @ivqks159 !

Preorders for Refracted Lives: a Big Finish Bernice Summerfield zine opens TOMORROW, August 8th 12pm PST!!

[incorrect-benny-quotes]

Adrian: Okay! Let’s play Kiss Marry Kill!

Adrian: First- who would you kill?

*Bev points at Brax*

*Jason points at Brax*

*Benny points at Brax*

Brax: *shrugs* I would kill me too.

Another Brax, holding a gun: I'm way ahead of you.

[andredmybeloved]

BSTober Days 22-24: (Green-Eyed) Monster, ft. Adrian Wall and Jason Kane

[irvingbruhxiatel]

“This is my Multiverse of Madness”