I was really inspired by you to write my own fanfic and I've published a couple chapters now, but it's getting like zero engagement which I understand isn't the point and I should write it just to write it, but now I feel super unmotivated. I leave author's notes and I've linked my social media and I talk about the fic on those social media. Idk. Hard not to feel discouraged.
I'm glad to hear I could inspire you to write your own fanfic. Writing is so much fun, and being able to put the blorbos in your own sandbox allows for so much creativity and exciting scenes and such. I understand your feelings. I've been writing fanfic for a very long time, and there have been many moments where I've questioned why I bother, if people aren't going to read it, or care. So many posts and writers and people in general will say that, 'write for yourself, not for others!' but personally, I've always just sort of sighed at that. While it is true to an extent, it's also true that when you pour everything into writing something with the intent to share it with others, it hurts when there's no engagement. NFLY was the first thing I wrote that had people leaving huge comments, coming to Tumblr to ask me questions about it, and drawing fanart. And oh boy, was I ecstatic about it. You couldn't imagine the number of times I've sent content to my friends and family, yelling 'look, look at this! Someone drew this! Because of *my* story! The one *I* wrote! Someone cared enough to draw *this!*' But honestly, it took me years of writing to get that type of engagement. And, often, engagement depends on what can be considered popular - fandom, pairing, troupes. I’ve seen fics with messy writing at the top of AO3, and genuinely incredible, plot-heavy stories buried much lower. Engagement really isn’t a reliable measure of how good something is. I just got lucky. A big part of why NFLY ended up where it did is because I kept writing even when the early chapters had little response, and I wrote it during times the fandom and ship were quite popular. And one fic’s engagement doesn’t predict the next. I love my newer stories, but I don’t expect them to ever hit the same level as NFLY. I’m even working on a long fic right now for a different fandom that I’m almost certain won’t get much attention. I’m still writing it because I like the idea, and if it ends up long enough, maybe curiosity alone will bring a few readers in. But who knows? At the end of the day, it really comes down to whether writing still feels rewarding enough for you to keep going, or if it’s just making you feel frustrated and upset. Both are valid. I hope you continue writing - we always need more fics to read! - but don't force yourself if it's not something that is making you happy.