#ae's rants

[the-aerispace]

Realising ableism is everywhere and so fucking casual is a new type of torture I fucking hate it

[the-aerispace]

I feel like I'm in a very weird place in my family because I am the oldest sibling and had gifted kid burnout syndrome

But I am also part of 3/4 disabled kids within my family?? Except I'd be considered the least disabled out of the three of us

Because like my youngest sister doesn't speak at all and has high support needs and my sister immediately before me is always in and out of the hospital so then I am immediately expected by my parents to be stepping up and being capable esp since I'm pretty much an adult now,,,

Except,,, except I'm disabled too??? And I keep on stressing that but like I can't be the capable oldest child you want I am just as disabled I just suffer in different ways ??? And then when I actually have symptoms and shit or the accommodations I usually have are absent and I can't function they get upset???? Like bitch I've been like this since birth I just know to be upset about it now

Stuck between a very rock and a hard place right now except not really because that's not how that phrase is used but you get it I hope 💔💔

i also have not a lot of support needs in day to day so when I actually do need support it's just,,,, "but you can do this thing",,, sigh

[the-aerispace]

Guys, please listen to me am I FUCKING CRAZY RN?

I am pissed off. SO FUCKING MUCH.

Okay so, I'm sick, right? I have the worst headache and everything fucking sucks

My auntie just arrived and she & my mum come into my room to talk to me, see if I'm doing okay apparently

We have a conversation, medicine, getting better, ect, ect,

And afterwards she and my mum start talking in Yoruba, in my room, REALLY FUCKING LPUD AND MY HEAD HURTS

I tell them, if you're done here, can you leave? You're being really loud

AND MY AUNT STARTS GOING OFF AT ME, SCREAMING, YELLING ABOUT DISRESPECT, THE WHOLE NINE FUCKING YARDS??? Like "I CAME HERE TO SEE U"

(she wasn't even talking to me ???? Like we tallked for 2 mins??? ALSO,,, SHE WAS SPEAKING IN YORUBA TO MY MUM BY THE WAY. A LANGUAGE BOTH OF THEM KNOW I DO NOT SPEAK?? DON'T FUCKING LIE TO ME)

I POINT THIS OUT??

You know what she does?

Guys. GUYS.

Channelling the spirit of an eleven year old boy in a fortnite lobby she starts going "SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP..."

I KID YOU FUCKING NOT.

I am being deadly fucking serious. Verbatim this is what she said.

Then goes: YOURE BEING RUDE!!!

Incredulous, like at this point I am laughing is genuine disbelief at the sheer level of delusion that only an African auntie can manage, like I am genuinely thinking "am I in a comedy?? God is this funny????" I do a look to the fourth fucking wall????? Bro someone on the other side please have pity for me and write hurt/comfort fanfic about this moment because DEAR GOD

I say: EXCUSE ME????? YOU CAME INTO MY ROOM???? AND STARTED GOING SHUT UP LIKE 74 TIMES IN A FUCKING ROW AND YOURE TALKING ABOUT ME BEING RUDE??? ME???? IF SOMEONE CAME INTO YOUR HOUSE WHILST SICK AND STARTED FUCKING SCREAMING AT YOU YOU WOULD SLAP THEM ON THE FACE AND KICK THEM OUT????

And she looks so fucking serious????

AND I GO "Ridiculousness"

And she says "YOURE SAYING IM RIDICULOUS?"

AND IM LIKE YEA!!! YEAH YOU ARE!!!!!

AND BY THE WAY, ALL OF THIS WAS SAID WITH EXTREME DIFFICULTY BECAUSE SHE KEPT INTERRUPTING ME AND SAYING "STOP TALKING BACK!!!!" "SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPPPP!!!"

Nd she goes off about being older than me and African heritage and all the while,, MY MUM,, IS BACKING HER UP????? I ASSUME TO KEEP UP APPEARANCES BECAUSE SERIOUSLY FUCK OFF??? "Would you kneel to that uahahaha" shut UPPPP

She brings up "do you want ppl to be talking in the street about how you were raised" ERR I DONT CARE!!!!! I DON'T CARE ABOUT STRANGERS!!!!! AND THIS DOES NOT FUCKING HAPPEN???? ESPECIALLY NOT IN ENGLAND?????

And I say "I don't care about strangers" and she says DONT SAY YOU DON'T CARE, I DO!!! ????? THATS NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM????????

She also brings up my little sister who is just sitting and watching this btw and is like "do you want her to disrespect you? " ??? You have siblings, you are fully aware a little sister will never respect you get out 😭😭

BY THE WAY, AFTER SAYING "YOU COME INTO MY ROOM..." SHE ALSO GOES OFF ON A TANGENT SAYING "AUHAHA ARE U GOING TO BE LIVING HERE FOREVER? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR ROOM??"

HUH???? TRANSIENCE DOESN'T EQUAL FAKENESS????? JUST BECAUSE IM NOT LIVING HERE FOREVER DOESN'T MEAN MY ROOM ISN'T MINE???? ALSO WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN PROVE, YOURE NOT EVEN ON THE SAME TOPIC ANYMORE!!!

Then, after a ridiculous amount of yelling I cut her off and say "okay, I'm done, I'm not letting you do this, get out of my room"

And, like a five year old: "what're you going to do if I don't"

And I'm like "??? You cant stay here forever??"

Again: "but whatre u gonna do if I don't leave"

And I say "LIE DOWN, QND FUCKING SLEEP??? IM NOT DEALING WITH THIS"

And both she and my mum are acting like this is a win???? Like fuck off???

AND WHEN I ACTUALLY STARTED TO LIE DOWN THEY LEFT, SO REALLY WHO WON???

[the-aerispace]

Y...you what??????????

I'll be so real he looks like the leader of a band who is also a door to door salesman

Gold eyes tho which is peak character design. Other than that??? This is a regular guy?? He is NOT in the Elite Four- 😭‼️

[the-aerispace]

Why are ppl only seeing the old art 💔💔 my new stuff is way better I promise 😭

[the-aerispace]

Okay guys I installed Obsidian the other day bc I figured I'd try it bc it supports md & html and I absolutely love it but there's one thibg missing???

You can't export at all on mobile :(((

I wanna copy the text from markdown to html & then drop it into ao3 but it doesn't work like that :( it just completely lacks an export feature on mobile and ahgfnsnsnab

I probably won't be able to actually write in there unless smth changes

If there's any plugins that can fix this pls lemme know but I haven't found one

[the-aerispace]

Holy shit,,, holy shit I fucking give up MY HOUSE IS A FUCKING CIRCUS

IM GIVING UP, JUST PLAY THE MUSIC, ILL WEAR THAT STUPID FUCKING HAT, IF IM GONNA BE A CLOWN AT LEAST LEMME HAVE THE BELLS AND SHIT

GOD THIS BIT ISN'T FUNNY AAARVDJDBDGSN

[the-aerispace]

LISTEN

WE WERE FUCKING ROBBED OF ERI AND TOGA CONTENT PLEASE

TWO GIRLS WHO BOTH BELIEVE THEY'RE CURSED AND EVIL AND ARE TRAUMATIZED, THEY COULD HAVE HAD A HEALING ARC TOGETHER????

WE COULD HAVE HAD A TOGA & ERI HEALING ARC!!!! AND THEY'D GO TO LIKE THE THEME PARK OR SMTH TOGETHER AND THEYD GET ATTACKED OR SMTH AND TOGA WOULD FIGHT AND SHOW SHE CAN PROTECT PEOPLE WHICH HEKPS HER SELF ESTEEM HTAT SHE'S NOT EVIL AND BAD AND DHDBDGDDH

AND THEN THEY COULD BE WITH SHINSOU WHO COULD ALSO HELP THEM AND ITD BE GREAT BC OF SHARED EXPERIENCES AND AIZAWA AND VLAD KING WOULD HELP AND IT'D BE MAGNIFICENT

Plus Ochaco and Izuku who could also help and stuff with learning to be a person again and such and then hanging out with 1-B which would be so so good hfvdhdvfgd

And then both Toga and Eri could discover what they want to do with their lives and they could learn their identities outside of their trauma and quirks and hgsdgdgdgshdj :(!!