#aeas

[isthisrealliiife]

Lawdamercy

tl;dr: life has happened in mostly good ways but consequently progress on an echo a stain has been necessarily delayed.

Next chapter will be up probably in mid-July.

First of all, Dave Chapelle is a transphobe piece of shit and I won't forgive him for it. But also a thousand years ago, when I was just a little baby teenage deviant in my first year of undergrad, I imprinted on a half-baked as my stoner movie so thoroughly that I feel certain that the above moment in that movie is a reflection of my very soul when I'm in distress. Also, Killer killed Nibbles. I will never pay another dime for anything he's done and it can be argued that by posting this gif I'm contributing to him remaining in the cultural consciousness of the West or the US or tumblr or whatever, but listen, y'all, sometimes there's tension between the things we connect with and there is no way to be ethical in the current late capitalist imminently apocalyptic hellscape, so I'm just gonna keep half-baked.

I'm Gen X and tired af. I will provide seasoning when Gen Z eats the rich and the boomers and whomstever else (lol not me I'm a public servant / educator / librarian who will never own property nor submit to these PWI motherfuckers for love or money), but just let me sit here in middle age with my smoke, my edibles, and my gotdamb movie lines. I love y'all. So in case you hadn't guessed (and why would you have? It's very unlikely you've read this far -- but if you have, maybe you HAVE guessed), I'm fucking exhausted.

Despite my well-laid plans, some things have happened in the past few weeks that demanded my attention. 1. My mom injured her knee and needed me to help her, so I did for about two weeks. 2. I finished my fucking project from hell.

I FINISHED MY FUCKING PROJECT FROM HELL.

I have to give a presentation on it Friday but then I'm going to be DONE with that fucking thing and the last class of this MLIS and I cannot describe in human language what it has taken for me to reach this point looooool lord bless Google Slides I guess

3. I completed two trainings, one to be a mandated reporter (which I already am but the laws have been updated) and one to learn how to prevent school violence and they were long and tedious and annoying to do because I'd already completed both and knew pretty much all the content already from being a public school educator for 10 years but the school where I got my MSEd lost my paperwork so here we are.

4. Secured a practicum / internship, the last missing puzzle piece to unlock my Master of Library and Information Science achievement, so my fatigue-d ass as been exhausting myself daily interning for a fuckin DOPE school librarian who is queer and my age and went to pride with her wife and two daughters and I've learned so much in the past two weeks I don't even know where to begin. So all that is to say, despite my previous promises, obviously, I have not posted any updates to an echo, a stain, nor will I be until at least mid-July because I'm going to sleep for a week once all this shit is wrapped up and my status as a Mistress of Library and Information Scientists is secured.

(Mistress Library and Information Scientist? I need it to be clear that I will not only be a Mistress of Scientists, but also a Scientist myself. If you want to know if my Mistress status will be as a kept woman or as a domme, the answer is yes and I'm currently accepting applications and formal proposals via asks and dms/pms/whatever tumblr calls them. All genders and identities welcome except stupid people with no imagination. GTFO. But if you've read this far, while it's plausible you're fucking unhinged, it seems highly unlikely that you're stupid OR unimaginative. WELCOME <3

So anyway please make any propositions or promposals fun and funny, and if you gonna be nasty, use your words and please make it hot. The world doesn't need more unsolicited nudes, genital pics, or milquetoast descriptions of sexytimes.)

ANYWAY Once my plate is clear and I can do other things with my time besides grind my bones to dust to prove to the PWI powers that be that I've humbled myself sufficiently to be worthy of their blessings, I'll be getting back into aeas with a thorough reread, revision of the next chapter (which yes, is already written, but is not fit for human consumption until it's been properly revised), and I guess its third act? I honestly don't know how many acts there are. I know I should. Maybe there are four. I know this is something I should know but I'm not a fiction writer by training or trade so I don't know how y'all frame these things. Anyway some wild shit is about to go down, don't think I've forgotten or gone soft. Errybody hold on to your panties because when I get back up in that shit we got some reckoning to deal with.

But first deadass animal antics because I WANNA AND IDGAF.

loooool OK seriously I'm crazy sleep deprived and I have a job interview Thursday and I need to create a slide deck for my internship mentor so I'mma go work on that byyyeeeeeee

[godofreincarnation]

White flowers and ladybugs.

[illicitblue]

꿈 • 170603 • mine

[illicitblue]

Okasian and KOHH “Save TIme” • 170415 • mine

[illicitblue]

Taemin “Drip Drop” • 170205 • mine

[illicitblue]

Molang 몰랑  • 170115 • mine

[isthisrealliiife]

On Lies I Didn't Know Were Lies

Hi everyone <3 I'm just gonna get straight to what if you're reading this, you most likely want to know about:

I did not mean to lie about posting the next chapter of an echo, a stain in July.

I have NOT abandoned an echo, a stain. 

It will be a minute before I recover my mojo.

And now, for those of you with vague interest in details, a bit more explanation:

By the time I graduated my program, finished my practicum, completed the requirements for certification, got my paperwork sorted, and was finally done, it was mid-July, and I was hardcore job hunting.

Great news! I got a job! As a school librarian! With a non-heinous commute!

So once I got that job, I ended up sleeping for more like nearly a month than a week, because apparently being sick for 10 months and then trying to accomplish every academic, professional, and personal goal you'd meant to achieve during that time while also tryna figure out how to pay rent with no income really fucks with your stamina.

Then I had a bunch of trainings to go to, and visits to fam and friends I hadn't seen in a year, and started my new job.

For those of you uninitiated in the agony and the ecstasy of being a K-12 teacher, this lands me in the DEVOLSON. (The Dark, Evil Vortex Of Late September, October, and November. Google it. It's a brilliant thing that I did not come up with but that is absolutely fucking true.)

The beginning of a new school year is fuckin' NUTS. I can't describe it. It's too much. Suffice it to say that even when you're returning to a school you've been teaching at for years in a position/at a level you've been doing for years, the beginning of the school year is always overwhelmingly busy and hectic and involves more pivots than every runway walk at New York Fashion Week combined. Starting a new job in a new position at a new school in conjunction with this is ... loooooooool. Anyway it's great, it's been great, I love my new job and my new school and my new students but when I tell you every iota of energy, creativity, mental acuity, and basic capacity to accomplish anything has been completely absorbed by my job, it's really not hyperbole lol. But, as my fellow New Jerseyan and hair band charmer Jon Bon Jovi would say, "we're halfway there." Sort of.

I'm not even going to try to predict when the next chapter of an echo, a stain will drop, and I won't make any promises.

What I will say is that with any luck, things will calm down in December and settle into far chiller rhythms. I'm gonna play me some Dragon Age: the Veilguard, sorry not sorry but I been waiting for that fucking game for ten years and for good or for ill, I need to KNOW.

Once that settles, it's probable I'm going to feel some inspo for a story I've neglected for even longer than aeas (WAY longer, in fact) and hopefully finish that fuckin thing or at least figure out where I want to go with it. After THAT (or possibly concurrent with that, tbh), I will return to aeas, whose place in my heart is precious and undiminished.

If you've read this far, thank you. I appreciate you. If you're pissed and are like "fuck your excuses!"

well... I mean, I feel bad about disappointing you, because I genuinely do appreciate people's investment in the story and understand the anguish of waiting for a chapter/ending that seems like it will never come, but also... damn, you don't gotta be mean about it looool.

Unfortunately, we live in a late-capitalist hellscape and so I have to work a lot and pretty hard to barely scrape by and I'm still recovering from being sick for a long time, so I only have so much capacity to do stuff. It's growing, but it's limited, so here we are! I am sorry for having fallen off, though. I really hadn't expected to.

But never fear, I'll be back -- and more importantly, so will aeas. Not gonna lie, I'm kinda scared by having been away so long, and worried that I won't be able to live up to the ambitions I had for the story, but that's not holding me back or anything. I'd rather try and fail than leave it hanging in the breeze unfinished.

It's just gonna take some time. Anyway, I hope y'all are doing well and that life throws some joy at you.

Also listen I am SERIOUSLY not gonna lie but if shit goes awry on that first Tuesday in November, it's gonna take me a minute to reconcile myself with all that. Just sayin'.

OK that's it I hope to be writing again sooner rather than later but thanks for even reading this if you have. <3

[litcityblues]

In general, I don't see the point of bothering my elected representatives. Too often, it seems like people with money, moving behind the sce

In general, it takes a lot to get me to bother my elected representatives, but some issues are just too important not to poke them about. This is one of them.