Crash Love {Davey Havok x Reader One Shot}
Requested by: Anonymous Wordcount: 2822 Summary: You keep notebooks of your writing, sort of like journals. And the person that you write about the most happens to find one.
The water brushed up against the shore in light waves. It was a rather calm day in the late fall, so there weren’t many people actually out here on the beach today, which made it absolutely perfect. It was perfect sweater weather, your favorite cardigan wrapped around your body keeping the warmth in. You had taken off your shoes though, and were digging your toes into the cool sand. In the Summer, it was much too hot to walk across barefoot, but now, it was deliciously cool. Your favorite time of year. Your soy latte was beside you, having dug it into the sand so it wouldn’t fall over, and your notebook was on your lap - you felt like you were in your own little paradise, ready to forget about the world around you for a little while. Your best friend, the person that you were writing about in your notebook, wouldn’t be around for another hour, so you felt safe in putting your feelings down about him. He couldn’t try to peek at it, the way that he usually did.
You were even using a pen that he had gotten for you as part of your birthday gift. It wouldn’t be Davey if it didn’t have some sort of darkness to it. Rather than just being your average pen, it looked like skulls stacked on top of one another, but was surprisingly easy to grip.
The pages of the unassuming notebook were mainly full with all sorts of things. Poems, short stories, notes on things that you meant to write about but never got to do, even doodles. It had been your faithful companion for almost a year, and would need replacing within the month. There were only a couple of pages left. You meant to make them count. Once you were done with this notebook, it would be going straight into the lockbox under your bed, among the others from previous years. You didn’t have much of value except for your thoughts and your words, so they were the only things that took up the lockbox.
Putting pen to paper, you let the words flow. Many people, including past English teachers, had told you that you had a gift for words, and they had expected big things out of you. A best selling author or something among those lines, but you never quite lived up to those expectations. You preferred to keep your words private. Your own secret little pleasures.
‘Just as the waves pound against the shore, again and again I find it even harder that I am meant to pretend That my heart isn’t the sand, being pushed down hard By your smile, your eyes, which put me on guard California itself is cold when you leave it here alone I hide myself in sweaters which you have outgrown You go around the world like a bird spreading wings I watch you on TV and miss the little things Like the way your piercing hits my cheek when we hug Or the way your cologne keeps me in a state of fugue’
You left it there for now. It wasn’t as happy as some of the other things that you wrote, but knowing that he was going to be taking off for a tour in Europe hurt. And you would have to pretend to be happy for him and all of his success. You were immensely proud of him, he was getting everything that he deserved and worked so hard for but -
-but you could selfish sometimes and want him for yourself. It had been you two throughout high school, and then at University until he dropped out to focus on music full time. You didn’t even hold fault with the rest of the boys for taking him away, finding a sort of family with Jade, Adam and Hunter eventually. But you just didn’t have the connection with them that you had with Davey. And you knew it was because you were in love with him.
You turned back to something happier that you had written a couple of days ago, after Davey had taken you out to dinner, just as something fun to do.
‘For once, clouds overhead resemble me and you Though I’m glad for gravity to keep me like glue With feet on the ground, we walk side by side Though with your talents, I’d say, more like a glide My head upon your shoulder, and arm entwined with yours You only let go to kindly open up the doors The smell of the the spices, the delicious food, oh- I love you so much, just please, watch me glow.’
You heard footsteps coming up the sand. It was quiet, but distinct, so you immediately closed up the notebook and placed it under your legs where it won’t blow away if a gust of wind were to come about. You looked over your shoulder to see the familiar figure approaching. Your heart was beating fast just looking at him. Although he looked amazing when he was on the stage, dressed up and full of make up, you thought he looked his best just as he was now. His hair was sticking out from beneath his hood at odd angles, his tongue was flicking against his lip ring, his eyes were crinkled from the smile that he was giving you. Just a natural beauty, in your opinion.
“You’re early,” You said, patting on a hard patch of sand beside you, wanting him to sit down. He did, sliding into the spot, his legs splayed out in front of him. He moved the hood from off of his head, showing off his freshly shaved sides. It was tradition for him to get a haircut before the tour started.
“Are you complaining?” He teased. He picked up your drink, which had gone cold in the time that you were out here, though it was still half full. He took a sip, smacked his lips, then put it back where it had been. You rolled your eyes at how he just welcomed himself to your things. It was as if the only thing that really was private were your writings. He’d even taken some of your clothes before. In fact, you were pretty sure that it was one of your t-shirts that was sticking out from beneath his sweater.
“I was hoping to get more done by the time you got here, but alas,” You sighed, dramatically.
“Writing again?” He asked, seeing the notebook underneath your legs.
“When aren’t I?” You said, teasing yourself. “I might even finish another notebook by the time that you get back. You’re bringing me souvenirs, right? I really want a little replica of the Eiffel Tower for my collection.”
“I’ve already bought you two,” Davey pointed out.
“Well, yeah, but it’s the closest I’m ever going to get to seeing the real thing. We can’t all be rock stars,” You nudged him, making him laugh.
“Never know - you could do something with all those words you scribble down.” He tapped the top of the notebook and you moved it out of his reach possessively. It was from him especially that you hid those words from. He was content to just be friends with you and the idea of ruining that was devastating. Even more so than this stupid unrequited love crap that you hoped would only be in books, but you were living through.
“Definitely not,” You shook your head. “Besides, as I’ve demonstrated for you time and time again, I cannot sing. Wasn’t it Hunter who rushed in the room, thinking that I was killing a cat?”
Davey laughed at the memory, and had to nod, which didn’t offend you in the slightest. You knew that you didn’t have the pipes to be a rockstar. Davey used to think that it would be great to have you as a backup singer or something of the sort so you could be a part of the band, but your little demonstration had put an end to that.
The two of you sat on the beach for a couple of hours, enjoying the solitude of the day, and the calm weather which rarely came into California. He even used his phone to deliver Starbucks to their location, tipping the delivery guy generously for coming out onto the sand so that the two of you could have your coffees. You listened to him go on about the busy tour schedule, and how he didn’t have much hope of sightseeing beyond the van and the venue.
“But I’ll get you your damn replica,” Davey assured you, making you smile with hope. More than anything, you wanted to go with him, but it really was just band and crew only. You and Davey already tried that, but the record label, who was paying for everything, had put their foot down.
“My collection thanks you,” You grinned. “Oh, maybe next time you’re in Asia, you could pick me up one of those little Tokyo Tower ones. It’s almost the same, but red.”
“What, you have enough of them that you need colors now?” Davey asked, looking at his phone and pulling a face. “I have to go - practice and packing...”
“Do you need any help?” You asked, hoping to spend a little extra time with him, but he shook his head.
“The last time that you helped me back, you somehow replaced all my underwear with speedos. Not happening.” He got to his feet and then helped you to do the same. You loved the warmth of his hand. This little bit of contact was the most that you could hope for and you savored it immensely. But it ended all too soon. “Want a ride home?”
“With the way that you drive? No way,” You stuck your tongue out. He was infamous for being a horrible driver, and even you who barely saw his flaws thought so. “I’ll just walk, it’s not far.”
“Okay,” He said, shooting you one of his infamous smiles. “Text me when you get home safe.”
“Just promise me you won’t look at it while you’re driving.”
-
You had never felt so frazzled or stressed out in your life. This was worse than the time that you had slept in before exams in your final year of University. This was worse than the interviewing process to get your current position. This was even worse than the time that Jade had set you up with his brother on a date, and it had turned out to be the most awkward experience of your life!
Your notebook was missing.
You couldn’t remember the last time that you had it but you had a feeling that it was at the beach. But you would never forget it there, would you? You weren’t stupid enough to just leave it for someone to find. It didn’t have your name in it, or your address so no one could link it to you if they actualy found it but ... it was still mortifying.
You walked where you had been the day before with Davey, going down the same path and stopping in what you were pretty sure was the same spot. Nothing. So this either meant that it wasn’t where you had lost it, or someone had picked it up. You grew so frustrated with yourself - how could you lose something that was so close to you all of the time? And even worse, the special pen that Davey had gotten you was tucked in among the pages.
You dragged your way back home, only to see that there was a black car in your driveway. From the dent in the bumper, you could tell that it was Davey’s. He had a key to your place, so he wasn’t waiting outside, but still - you couldn’t think of why he would be here. You entered your place, and looked around to see that he wasn’t anywhere in sight. “You better not be drinking all of my almond milk!” You shouted. You walked into your kitchen, and rather than him being the first thing that you noticed, it was the notebook, sitting on the counter. You knew that you hadn’t left it there, having walked through this kitchen a dozen times in your search. You stopped in the entryway, and forced yourself to look onto Davey’s face.
“I noticed it when you were walking away,” He said, opening up the notebook. Your jaw dropped at the audacity that he had. He knew that it was private. You had never let him even peek inside one of your books before, and here was, flipping through it like he was looking for something in particular. Did he have the pages memorized? “I was going to give it to you but you were already gone.”
“So you just went through it?” You asked, marching forward to try to take it from him, but he held it out of your reach. High above his head, with the page facing down so that he could read whatever page had interested him. You tugged on his arm, but he was relentless.
“I’m glad that he doesn’t know that he’s all I think about, He doesn’t feel the same way, I have no doubt. I’m glad that he doesn’t know that I dream about his mouth The way he kissed me cheek on vacation, down south. I’m glad that he doesn’t know that I want to share house So that at night be can help unbutton my blouse I’m glad that he’ll never find any of this out He’s someone that I could never live without-”
“Please stop,” You pleaded with him. And he did. He just flicked his tongue at his lip ring again, sucking on it slightly, thinking about something. “Would you believe me if I told you they were about someone else?”
“No.”
“Thought not,” You said. Davey lowered his arms and you took the book out of his grip, slamming it shut before he could peek anymore. But he had all night. He probably read everything. You’ve never felt more mortified in your life.
The only sound was that of the ticking clock which hung on your wall. The seconds were passing by. “Can you maybe say something?” You asked, finally, unable to take it anymore. “Like - I don’t know - we’re not friends anymore and leave?”
“Why would I leave?” He asked, looking genuinely perplexed.
“Why would you stay?” You asked in return.
He didn’t answer you with his words. Rather, his lipring was against your lips now, still slightly wet from his tongue, which was all that you could focus on. Until you realized that his arm was sneaking by you, trying to get the notebook again. You pulled yourself away, came to terms with what just happened, and then gasped loudly. “What-”
“What?” Davey asked, snatching the book before you could take it back, and hid it inside of hoodie. “It’s all very cute - really. Why didn’t you read me any of it before?”
Your mouth opened and closed, and you felt like a fish trapped out of water. “Why do you think?” You finally sputtered out. You pressed your fingertips to your lips, still feeling the metal against them. Still feeling that kiss. “Because they’re silly and it’s humiliating!”
“They’re not silly. You’ve got some good material here,” Davey said, hugging it close to his chest so you couldn’t attempt to get it. You didn’t. He’d already seen everything. There was no point in trying to get it now. “It’s just kind of funny...”
“What is?”
“I’ve been trying to use my lyrics to get through to you,” He said, smiling. You were glad he looked so happy, but the situation didn’t seem to call for it. You were still more confused than anything. “Not as sappy as your poems but-”
You hit him in the arm, and he laughed and took a step back. “You’re a jerk.”
“Yeah, and I feel like one since I still have to leave tomorrow,” He frowned, the light leaving his eyes. Still, now that you weren’t hitting him, he approached you once more, and wrapped you in one of his infamous hugs. It felt different now though. It had more meaning. “I shouldn’t ask you to wait for me-”
“Are you kidding? I thought you read this book - I’ve been waiting for years. What’s another couple of months?”