#agentobrien

[agentandersen]

[text] hahaha you said genitalia. [text] but soreeeeeeen, work is boring! why? do you have work you need to do? 'cause i guess i can let you go if you do.

[SMS] How mature.

[SMS] I do, actually, so I suppose this is goodbye for now. Be sure to call me whenever you get back in town.

[agentandersen]

[text] more like the best influence [text] well, you thought wrong, obviously. fine, fine, calling you a vulcan is not an insult just because you and spock both lack a sense of humor.

[SMS] I don't lack a sense of humor. My sense of humor is just limited to things that are actually humorous. Genitalia shaped chocolate does not fall under that category. Don't you have some sort of work you should be doing instead of comparing me to fictional characters?

[agentandersen]

[text] i'm not trying to get you to do drugs. i'm just suggesting that maybe you should trying doing a specific drug. there's a difference. [text] boo, you whore. i'm funny and you know it. and calling you a spock isn't exactly a compliment.

[SMS] Either way, this suggests that you're a terrible influence.

[SMS] Calling me rude names just because I don't think you're funny? Honestly, Callum, I thought you were above that. Also, I fail to see how being called Spock is an insult.

[agentandersen]

[text] so basically your problem with the chocolate dick is that you're no fun? legal, shmegal. i think a hit of coke would be good for you. might help you relax. [text] then i'm deeply offended bc i know for a fact that i am hilarious D: [text] also you're getting a sense of humor for christmas, mr. spock

[SMS] If you want to look at it that way, go ahead. My problem with it is that it's not something I would enjoy. I am not going to begin using drugs just because you think it would help me relax.

[SMS] I'm sure many people do find you hilarious, but I am not among them at the moment. Also, I'm almost positive that you can't purchase a sense of humor for someone. Is calling me Spock supposed to be an insult?

[agentandersen]

[text] what exactly do you have against penis-shaped chocolate? and what's wrong with cocaine? everybody who does it seems to like it. [text] are you calling me childish or just saying that i'm not funny?

[SMS] I find it crude and have no wish to own any. As for cocaine, I'm sure you're aware that it is, in fact, illegal and pointing out that its users are addicted to it isn't exactly a ringing endorsement.

[SMS] Take your pick. You can even say I'm doing both, if you like.

[agentandersen]

[text] okay, well let's try this: what would it have to be filled with for you to want it? [text] money? cocaine? [text] honestly, soren, the fact that you're saying that makes me question how well you know me.

[SMS] I don't want it regardless of what's inside of it. And I definitely do not want anything involving cocaine.

[SMS] I know you well enough to know that you are capable of anything and are not above purchasing crudely shaped chocolate because it's exactly the sort of thing you find amusing.

[agentandersen]

[text] so i'm guessing you don't want it? [text] but it's filled with cream, dude!

[SMS] It could be filled with gold and I still woudn't want it.

[SMS] I seriously hope this is a joke, Callum, or else I'm going to doubt how well you really know me.

[agentandersen]

[text] shut up. buying you a birthday present is my duty as your best friend. [text] well, that depends. would you consider a chocolate penis a normal gift?

[SMS] What? No.

[SMS] That had better be some sort of joke.

[SMS] If that's what you got me, I don't want it. Thank you, but no thank you.